Crazy Neighbor

[jwasbury]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Sounds harmless to me. Bake her some cookie/brownies and take her a bouquet of flowers. Tell her that you were sorry that you got off on the wrong foot...as you realize your renovations were disruptive. Thank her for her patience. She probably feels your renovations change the character of the neighborhood, the view, etc. It is difficult when new neighbors move in and change things. Especially for older folks or those that have been there a long time.

^I think this is all good advice for dealing with a rational individual.

We have done nothing to change the character, in fact we specifically worked to preserve it. The exterior of the house is virtually unchanged, only reversed about 30 years of neglect by the prior owner. The neglect was apparently a sore spot for these neighbors. We do understand the renovations were disruptive. We sent letters to all the neighbors with our phone number and our appreciation for their patience as we restore our old house prior to commencing the project. Many times apologized in person for the dust and debris and thanked for patience.

Her husband ("the doll" according to the Mayor) has praised the work we have done and has said multiple times that we now have the nicest block in the town.

[billybek]

1. Build fence
2. Paint fence baby poo green.

Sit back and watch the comedy unfold.

Amazing how one bad neighbor can affect your quality of life.

Our neighbors to the west are renters and are nice people but the family before were an absolute nightmare.

Good luck with your situation.

[UconnTim97]

Have you talked to her husband? He may be of some assistance here.

[NutmegCarrera]

To be completely objective about this - we really do deserve to see pics of the strip of dirt.
Gotta know what we are dealing with here....

Does not sound fun. I do not envy your situation and wish you the best in being allowed the privacy you deserve. Some folks aren’t happy unless they’re unhappy.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by jwasbury

We sent letters to all the neighbors with our phone number and our appreciation for their patience as we restore our old house prior to commencing the project. Many times apologized in person for the dust and debris and thanked for patience.

Well done, very cool of you to do that.

Just remember, confrontational crazy people haven't seen the football since kick-off and don't know the rules even if they had.

Gogar provided you with the plan.

Re-entering a neighborhood is the one thing that keeps my on the farm.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by jwasbury

There is no grass, its dirt. She trespasses on my property so she can write “love notes” like this to us on the piece of plywood that protects her vintage garage window.

Let her know her message has been received loud and clear.


Spray Paint a giant O K on the plywood.

[Baz]

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/992393-why-certain-people-go-through-life-sad-human-beings.html

[aigel]

Maybe it is easy for me to say, but my approach to neighbors is generally to ignore them if they are getting weird and even tolerate odd behavior. Especially if someone is nuts AND retired, they will be able to drive you crazy if you engage.

G

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by Gogar

She's begging for you to get weird, so the way you win is to kiss her ass. It'll drive her nuts. Stick up a camera, move along with your day, and let her lose her mind.

This, be extra nice to her

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by jwasbury

^I think this is all good advice for dealing with a rational individual.

We have done nothing to change the character, in fact we specifically worked to preserve it. The exterior of the house is virtually unchanged, only reversed about 30 years of neglect by the prior owner. The neglect was apparently a sore spot for these neighbors. We do understand the renovations were disruptive. We sent letters to all the neighbors with our phone number and our appreciation for their patience as we restore our old house prior to commencing the project. Many times apologized in person for the dust and debris and thanked for patience.

Her husband ("the doll" according to the Mayor) has praised the work we have done and has said multiple times that we now have the nicest block in the town.

If you really want a solution, it is all about her perception, not yours or those who are not concerned. Treating her poorly or without respect will only make things worse. She likely has nothing better to do than engage in a lifelong pissing contest with you. Do you have the time to play that game?

Keep playing nice and be the "bigger man"...the only one who risks losing new neighborhood friends and sleep is you if you are perceived to be bullying an old lady. She apparently is already past that concern. How you treat those who are not your equal or superior often strongly colors how you are perceived (and usually not fairly).

Honey always works best. Especially with women. If a guy, you could just offer to kick his ancient old arse..."get off my lawn!!!" I did that once to a young, fat, doughnut eating cop neighbor of mine...and it worked quite well...but tryin to go crazier is not often the bast response.

[rcooled]

Seriously, one of the main reasons why people will sell their house and move is because of annoying neighbors.

[Shadetree930]

Every neighborhood has one of these people.

We call ours ... Batman. He walks his dog with a baseball bat in the other hand thinking a stray dog will attack him. Parks in front of an active construction site to inconvenience the builders. Just a generally unhappy person.

Everyone just ignores him and laughs about him when he comes up in conversation,

These people thrive on confrontation. Don't give them any.

[vash]

i would blend Gogar and Fints solution into one scheme.

go with nice. couldnt hurt before exploring the "nuclear option".

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Sounds harmless to me. Bake her some cookie/brownies and take her a bouquet of flowers. Tell her that you were sorry that you got off on the wrong foot...as you realize your renovations were disruptive. Thank her for her patience.

This sounds perfect.

It's pretty clear she wants the confrontation. If you can get over the fact you want to stick a shiv in her neck, do this (cookies and flowers).

As soon as she knows she's "in control" I bet the stinky-stink stops.

[Jims5543]

[matthewb0051]

I watched a feud over a shared driveway for 3 years when we lived in Watertown NY. The neighbor in the red brick would park on her half near her front door because husband was in Iraq and she had 5 kids.

The other neighbor had a teenage daughter that would park right next to the lady w 5 kids car. When her mom wanted to leave for work she would go over to the lady's home w 5 kids and ask her to move rather than her own daughter that was parked on her side of the shared driveway.

Ultimately a fence solved this nonsense.

[daepp]

Beware!



And then there's this:

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by ossiblue

IMO, this applies to the access to the dirt strip^^.

She has lived in her house for over 30 years and has had access to that strip all that time. Unless there was a written statement in the selling documents that she had permission to use the access (or denied use), then she more than likely has a prescriptive easement on your driveway. She doesn't have to have anything recorded, just use which, in this case, is her and her husband's word. Contacting the former owner and asking if he gave permission would negate the easement, if he gave it and if he can be located.

As mentioned in the above post, pushing the issue may give her information about a legal right she has that she is currently unaware of. You could go ahead and construct a fence and see what she does. If she goes legal and claims an easement, the worst for you is removal of the fence.

In California this is accurate. Some states temper the exclusivity of the prescriptive right/easement to that which is essential. If she can remove part of her fence to access her dirt strip, in some states she must do so. If she was notified by other owner in writing, than she can't perfect the right.

I would play it safe. I had one of these where a retaining wall alignment was beneficial to both me and my neighbor by encroaching on my property. We exchanged letters to that purpose and recorded it with the County. Worked out great, though my Neighbor was a great person.

[mreid]

Maybe she’ll die soon. Unfortunately, worried always dies before crazy and you’re allowing her to worry you and play on your nerves. The “don’t stoop to crazy” recommendations, spot on. Don’t argue with a pig. They’ll drag you into the mud and the pig likes it.

I would have a chat with the husband and try and get him to manage his mess or at least keep her out of your hair. Of course, she’ll probably just kill him...

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by mreid

...Of course, she’ll probably just kill him...

He prolly don't care at this point