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Originally Posted by jcommin
I guess I got to jump in on this one. Married at 35 to a girl I have known for a very long time. She not only good lookin' but smart too. Separated last year after 20 yrs of marriage; divorce papers file - in process.
Made some mistakes; My wife has suffers for anxiety and depression, hospitalized 2 times. I never could make her happy. She blamed me for everything and I accepted it. It's like trying to fill a glass of water that has no bottom. She wore me out. I could no longer carry this relationship so I changed to only carry 50% of the 100% of the relationship. She left Memorial day weekend last year and I was heartbroken. I mourned the loss of this marriage all last year.
But I'm beginning to come out of it. I'm tired of being sad. I don't miss the insanity, anger and drama we had. Let someone else have it. Have dated a couple of times but I'm not interested in starting anything. I don't trust anyone. There is no way I can give because I didn't get much back; I'm too scared.
What I have learned: Nothing last forever, take care of yourself, relationships are 50/50; I'm only responsible for my 50%. Walk away from any relationship if your partner has emotional, mental issues or suffered from any abuse as a child. You can forget the past but the past won't forget you.
I keep busy with things that never let me down: my love for painting, music and cars. My family is my greatest achievement and I want to always be connected to them.
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Jim, I can relate. My ex suffered from clinical depression. Nothing was ever good enough for her. I think her depression stemmed from her vision of what her dream life sould be vs what our reality was. Bottom line is this, ......everybody has to take responsibility for their own happiness......whatever that may be. You cannot be responsible for the happiness of a spouse and if that was her expectation from you, it was unrealistic and unfair. Sounds to me like you're shouldering too much responsibility here.