You are all aware of my domestic foibles and I thsnk you for your comments and support. I don't really want to get into an analysis of my situation as much as I want to hear your experiences with a "time out" to step back and sort out your individual as well as marital relationship issues in an effort to salvage a marriage.
In your experience, has it worked in your relationship(s)? What kind of time frame is reasonable? Did you maintain contact during the separation? Was it just prolongong the inevitable?
Since many of you followed my other thread along these lines, let me say the following...My wife and I truly love each other; we redcognize we both have persoanl issues that we need to deal with separately for our own well being; there are issues involving the relationship that must be addressed to each other's satisfaction that we agree are fixable; there is no issue that will be financially deveastating to either of us should we decide to split for good so we're not having to deal with that destructive issue so common to relationship failures; there is no issue of infidelity, substance abuse/addictions etc involved; nobody's looking for the BBD (bigger better deal).
I think it was Moses who said separate living arrangements and "space" are for dating...not marriages. May be true but I know of couples who have had separations and come back togerther to a a better relationship. But then again, there are those that it was a prelude for ending it. To paraphrase the warden from Cool Hand Luke, ""When a (wo)man gets the rabbit in him he's gonna run...into the box Luke." and "What we have heah is failure to communicate<"
On the persoanal level, I'm doing fine. This time alone has allowed for introspection and has allowed me to see things I've not handled well, seen that I have neglected my own neeeds/happiness, seen that I am way too hard on myself, etc. I am firmly convinced I will be a better man regardless of whether we reconcile or not.
TYIA for your comments.