fooking sad

[look 171]

Went to dinner at Soup Plantation (chain restaurant, salad buffet) this evening. An old lady waiting in line two person in front of me fainted. I pitched my plate to try and catch her fall. I couldn't get her in time because she was just a tiny bit too far, but I did break her fall with my leg so she did not hit her head. This dumb ass 30 something year old man (if he can be called that?) just went around her to get his food and walked away. I held her head up off the ground as I try to look for help. The only other person that come to my aide was the girl busting tables. Everyone just stood there and watched or worst, walked around her to get their food. Her family, sister also an old lady, came and we walked her over to a seat. She started to faint again. This time, I got her and decided its best to allow her to lay on the ground slowly. I felt that she needed to not be up right but had her head on my lap. What's fooking sad was many of the young men were just looking on I had to yell at them to call 911 (thankfully others already did). I was struggling with her because she was heavy and I just don't know how to get at the dead weight without hurting her. A nurse finally came to help. One thing I did notice was no one was filming come to think of it now. I would have been pissed. What the hell happened to us?

[pwd72s]

Last sentence..damned good question. Maybe it's your area? Several years ago, while shopping Cindy fell, dinged up her knee. I got a call from a lady telling me what happened..that she was administering first aid. Small town vs. big city values?

[pavulon]

This just in: a LOT of people suck and they’ve had kids.

[ckelly78z]

This world has become a selfish "me first" society that thrives on instant gratification driven by technology.

[Chocaholic]

Could it be that others saw that she was being helped by you and her sister? Someone had already called 911, they knew but you didn’t?

People tend to be good in general. An occasional a-hole but I wonder if your perception of the situation was worse than reality. No idea really, just offering another possibility.

[Baz]

Where to start?

Sheer stupidity to start with....not even understanding what their role is.

Couple that with the "me-first" attitude/personality.

Add lastly add in a missing "moral compass".

Right there is the cocktail we are dealing with in every day life.

Why do you think we have 520 posts (and counting) in the Pet Peeve thread?

Thanks for chipping in Jeff and helping that person. I admire your values, compassion, and survival skills.

[LesPaulFan]

I've read about men helping women and then getting sued for touching her breast during CPR.

[Tervuren]

First, there is a reaction that someone that considers themselves competent is already taking care of it.

Sometimes by not making it known you need additional help, it may not be obvious.

I had a problem where I hit the deck last year, the person that stopped to help was all I needed, a crowd of more people would not have improved things.

[DanielDudley]

If you step in, don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people will help if you take charge and request it.

[Baz]

Last night I was at a restaurant and for some reason we haven't exactly figured out yet, I fainted while I was in the buffet line.

Thanks goodness a nice young man rushed over to provide assistance. Even though I was very woozy I'll never forget seeing other people around me who never lifted a finger or expressed an interest in helping myself and this nice young man who went out of his way to help.

It was as though I had inconvenienced them and was an obstacle between them and their food.

What's wrong with people that they can't take a minute out of their pathetic little lives to help someone out in an emergency?

I don't know how to contact the nice man who helped...I thought I heard someone call him Jeff. Just wanted to publicly thank him for his generosity, good will, and quick thinking.

[cabmandone]

I think some are afraid to help out of fear of being sued. All it takes is someone saying you stepped in without proper medical training and caused more injury. I'm not saying that would stop me from helping but I can see how it would stop others.

[wayner]

It’s people

I crashed a motorcycle once when I hit oil while breaking for the intersection
(A gas station on the corner had just been removed and the road was stained)

My bike slide into the intersection
Unbelievably it timed the lights perfectly and the other direction had not started moving yet

But then they did. They all started honking at me and trying to drive around shredded me and my busted bike

I’ll never forget that

[Tervuren]

Baz, my own perspective from being on the deck is that a crowd trying to help is additional stress, more questions, more difficult, more confusing.

One person helping, one person directing.

If Look needed additional help, he could have asked.

The only time I have seen the need for a crowd those there first called for help, so the crowd arrived, including me.

That was when a youngster at a race track went unconscious and exited a track full throttle, angled just right to miss all the barriers to stop him and instead continued full throttle into the parking lot.

We had to pick a SUV up and off him.

Once that was done, and I helped pick up the SUV there was already the track ambulance on the way, there were racers I knew had more medical knowledge than I had, so I left to get out of the way.

[wayner]

But Jorge you did your part

There was a car crash on the highway near our house.

We lived in the country so we all ran up to the highway
My daughter with medical training assessed each person

When the emergency crew arrived my daughte gave them the assessment of priorities and they quickly whisked the first person away

My wife played mom to the scared young girl and consoled her(she was in shock)
A neighbour got blankets

Btw, the teach for this very reason not to say “someone call 911”

Instead, you, man in the blue shirt, call 911. Did you call?

I didn’t want to be in the way so I got flashlights and directed traffic and recruited s few more volunteers from passing cars

Nobody was indifferent

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by cabmando

I think some are afraid to help out of fear of being sued. All it takes is someone saying you stepped in without proper medical training and caused more injury. I'm not saying that would stop me from helping but I can see how it would stop others.

Well said.

[LWJ]

Hold on. While the goof balls that just stepped around to the feed bag seem a little selfish, most people are simple TERRIBLE in a crises. I have had a number of similar situations. The fact is, people just don't process these events well. In one situation, we had a group rafting on a river. A guy jumps in and breaks his neck. He almost drowned in front of 30 people until I said "what if Tom actually has a problem?"

It really may be more of a cognitive framing issue. Meaning, people simply don't know what box to put an emergency into.

Yes. There are selfish people. We all see them. Lots of people (many?) are good folks that would do something but don't know what to do. Or, they see you have it in control and don't want to further embarrass the victim.

I could be wrong in your situation. I am right in the emergencies that I have experienced.

[RANDY P]

1)- Good work. Would've been much worse without you.

2)- people are generally dip****s- thankfully you were there to help.

rjp

[RonDent]

I get involved. I always have. I open doors for people. I help old ladies up stairs. If i see someone that needs help I hear my father's voice, "I'll kick you a$$ for not helping that person".

[vash]

ALWAYS!! always help!!

i sometimes feel like i'm a mutant. i hope the old lady is okay. i have a soft spot for our elderly.

thanks Look. beer on me.

[Rich76_911s]

The bystander effect is actually pretty well researched in psychology.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201009/why-and-how-do-we-help

The lesson is if you're not feeling well in a crowded space you better point someone out directly and ask them for help. The more crowded the more important it is to single someone out. If not, the situation you witnessed is likely to repeat itself. Additionally if are like Look 171 and respond when others don't it's best to take control of the situation and start directing people to specific tasks.