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-   -   Funny sayings (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1007569-funny-sayings.html)

Alan A 09-15-2018 05:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1990C4S (Post 10182830)
As useless as the 'g' in lasagna.

Slyer than a ****-house rat.

As thick as two planks.
It’s two short planks.

Superman 09-15-2018 05:02 PM
All generalizations are false.

msk1986911 09-16-2018 03:48 AM
Colder than a mother -in-law's kiss.

Zeke 09-20-2018 03:22 PM
You can bull**** a bull****ter but you can't snow the snowman.

red-beard 09-20-2018 03:25 PM
The ex-Mrs Beard had a couple of good ones:

#1 - Scrape goat
#2 - Best mixed metaphor - I don't give two ****s to the wind. (I expect the word to be censored, it is the "crap" word which starts with "s")

Amail 09-20-2018 03:33 PM
In your best Russian accent;
Strong like bull
Smart like tractor

Steve Carlton 09-20-2018 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmccuist (Post 10182463)
Yogi had some amazing ones

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
90% of this game is half mental.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
It gets late early out here.
Pair up in threes.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
We were overwhelming underdogs.
I don't see his masterpiece here- "Deja vu all over again."

yellowperil 09-20-2018 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by red-beard (Post 10189130)
The ex-Mrs Beard had a couple of good ones:

#1 - Scrape goat
#2 - Best mixed metaphor - I don't give two ****s to the wind. (I expect the word to be censored, it is the "crap" word which starts with "s")
Those R funny!

yellowperil 09-20-2018 04:41 PM
You can pick your friends, and you can pick you nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Steve Carlton 09-20-2018 05:05 PM
Fighting words- "I'm gonna wipe your ass!"

GH85Carrera 09-21-2018 06:43 AM
One of my wife’s coworkers came in one morning and heard the others discussing the thunderstorm from the night before. She proclaimed “we had a lot of thunder, but no lightning thank goodness”.

Everyone just walked away. No comment was appropriate.

Steve Carlton 09-21-2018 06:45 AM
What a maroon.

- Bugs Bunny

unclebilly 09-22-2018 04:05 AM
Its so foggy you cant find your arse with both hands.

ckelly78z 09-22-2018 04:22 AM
My favorite camping saying (in a native Indian accent).

"White man build big fire....stand back, Indian build small fire....sit close" !

Steve Carlton 09-24-2018 12:43 PM
No balls- no babies.

oldE 09-24-2018 12:48 PM
Butter wouldn't melt and Shirt don't happen. (meaning innocent, maybe)

Stunned as my arse. Pretty much the same as Dumb as a bag of hammers.

Best
Les

Steve Carlton 09-30-2018 08:40 AM
Denial's not just a river in Egypt.

masraum 09-30-2018 09:37 AM
I used to work in a company that provided support for the oil industry in the Gulf of Mexico and Louisiana among other places. We had a couple of offices in Louisiana so I worked with a bunch of folks from Louisiana. I can't remember any of them, but those guys were always coming up with funny stuff like the stuff in this thread.

Hawkeye's-911T 09-30-2018 09:45 AM
An editorial comment about a local politician on local TV news a few months back: "That guy is as sharp as a marble"

Cheers
JB

dafischer 09-30-2018 09:47 AM
One of the guys working on our slate roof..."That **** is slicker than snot on a glass doorknob."


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