Tell us about your dastardly deeds...
 

This topic is inspired by look 171's thread, "Another azzhold neighbor thread, what would you do?" So many comments about stealing, rattlesnakes , manure, poo, etc. I want to hear from the the same posters what you actually have performed in a similar situation. You read mine:

"... let me tell you about my experience with that. There was a large tree that hung over my fence and just about over the pool on a house I owned in the '80's. Many times during high winds that tree would fill my pool. One time a branch broke off and landed slap in my pool. I went over the fence and cut the tree down right to the top of the fence while the wife watched me from the window. They were renters and didn't seem to care but I would have done that if the owner lived there.

I did speak up about it once or 2wice asking them to contact the landlord. I guess I did him a favor, BUT, I left all the debris in their yard and went back over the fence."

If you ask for a dance, you'd better know how to dance.

Over forty years ago, the guys in the rooms next to mine at university were party animals, loud and not too concerned about their behaviour after ten PM. Since the rooms in that residence were so small the doors had to swing out into the hallway, the hinge pins were on the outside. The last week, toward the end of exams, I removed the hinge pins from their doors. Yep, that's about as BA as I get.
However, if a neighbour repeatedly put his garbage cans in front of my house after being asked to desist, I would indeed move said cans from where they improperly placed them to the middle of their driveway. If I had to do it more than once, I wouldn't be too careful and the cans might spill all over their yard.

Best
Les

In college:

Had one guy on the floor that was persistently annoying. We "penny locked" him in his dorm room. Basically you got one guy to put his back to the door and his feet on the opposing wall and push as hard as he could. The other guy puts a stack of pennies in the expanded gap as close to the lock as possible, then you leave. It basically puts tons of pressure on the lock mechanism. So much that he broke his door handle off and had to call maintenance to get him out of his room.

Once, in a spate of boredom, we pledged (as in emptied an entire can of pledge on) the linoleum tiles outside the elevators in the dorm. In February. On a Saturday night. When it was snowing. People came back from the bars drunk with wet shoes and couldn't seem to stay upright.

Had a roommate that liked to make dinner at 3:00 a.m. when I shared an apartment with 3 other guys. My room was next to the kitchen. I got woken up every morning as he banged pots and pans, slammed cabinet doors, and played loud music while cooking. I asked him several times to be quieter. He ignored me. I taped snap pop inside the lip of every cabinet door and went to bed. The first cabinet he slammed caused a loud explosion and caused him to have to change his pants. He was quieter after that.

Same guy, a few years earlier was my roommate in the dorms. He was very fussy about his stuff. He once berated someone for over an hour for putting his scissors back in his drawer with the handle on the wrong side. But he had no problem freely borrowing and occasionally breaking other people's stuff. On April Fool's Day, we cleared out his side of the room after he left for class. He returned to find his side of the room completely bare (which was quite a feat, as he crammed 3x the times of stuff on his side of the room as the average college dorm dweller). He came back from class and simply said: "My stuff better be back by dinner." So we painstakingly put everything back...in completely the wrong place.

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap? I guess I have a few. All pretty harmless, I guess.

One of my buddies (and a room mate before I got married) was, like many of us, working on his four wheeler and dirt bike all of the time. No big deal - except he didn't have any tools. He used mine. No big deal either, but he just never cleaned them up and put them away when he was finished. I don't have to tell you guys, that was a big deal. I never really did get all that mad at him, but I certainly let him know that if he wanted to keep using them, he would have to do better. He never did.

So I finally started messing with him. He was working nights, I was working days, so his truck was always in the driveway in the morning. So I would put about a dollar bill sized puddle of anti-freeze under it before I left for work every morning. This went on for weeks, with him looking in vain for the leak. He finally pulled the radiator one Saturday (using my tools, of course, and I even helped) and went and got it pressure tested. Nothing. No leaks. So he bought all new hoses for the reinstallation. When he went to do that on Sunday, I was nowhere to be found and my tools were locked up.

This was in the days before cell phones, of course. He called everyone we knew looking for me. He was in a panic, since he had to get it back together so he could drive it to work that afternoon (Sunday night was his "Monday"). I was actually with the first guy he called, but of course he "hadn't seen me". He got more and more panicked with everyone he called, at least according to them in our "after action debriefing" (sitting around drinking beer together, laughing our asses off at him the next weekend).

I finally got home about an hour before he had to be at work. No time to put it back together, of course. So I let him borrow my car. He asked me to make sure I left my toolbox unlocked for him for the next day, so he could put it back together. I took that opportunity to explain what had just happened to him and why, and just what it would take for him to be allowed access to my tools (no, not that one...) in the future. He was absolutely beyond pissed off. By the next weekend, though, we were sharing a beer and laughing about it. He was super vigilant about cleaning and putting away tools after that.

I decline to answer under the grounds....

As I posted in that thread...I cut a neighbor's fence "just a bit" back in early Aug. in the middle of a freakin' storm to mitigate flooding. That was bad enough during that storm. I've since cut out a whole section, 'cause we've had five even worse rain events since then. Don't know wtf they were thinking, just don't care. Don't know if it was the current owner or his dad (deceased now), but if he wants to discuss it....I'll be glad too :). No regrets on that one....none whatsoever.

I probably shouldn't have tapped that dumbazz from Indiana who was playing bs "brake checking" games though. Azzhole had slowed down to about 5 mph....so I just bumped him pretty good....he pulled over...I went on about my bidness.

First job was in a parking lot near UF - parking only for the handful of business in the plaza, NOT for the book store, or hte bar, or to go to the game, etc.

Some a-hole lawyer drives up from Miami in his new Mercedes and parks in "my" lot to go to the game. Being the professional speed bump that I was, I stopped him, told him he had to move, or I'd have to call the cops to have them write him a ticket. He pulls the angry lawyer card, starts screaming about suing me if I have him ticketed, blah blah blah. So I say "Welp, I've done my job - up to you" and go back to my perch. He looks at me for a moment, then turns to walk the 4 blocks to the stadium.

He musta slept through half his classes - our big prominent sign said "ticketed or towed/impounded". I was being nice, and offering to just ticket him. But since he was an ass, I called my boss and asked if I could go full bore and have someone towed. Explained the whole thing, boss agrees with me, and then I start giggling. He asks why, I explain that I just realized it is game day, and all the tow companies are busy... so I'll have to call one from 3 counties out in the sticks :)

So ... my 15 year old bad ass self had some scummy lawyer from Miami's brand new Mercedes jacked up by Billy Joe Jim Bob and dropped in an impound lot out in Keystone Heights, Fl somewhere (about half way between g'ville and Jax). Sadly, game was over after my work day was, and in fact all of the merchants in the plaza except for the laundromat were closed. Would've loved to see the guy throw a fit...

Did that in college, too! We got a lot of dry ice and put them in pots and we cranked up some fans in the hallway. Had a bunch of people in the hall yelling, "OMG, we gotta get out now!"

I thought everybody got "pennied in" during college...annoying or not....

On second thought....we were ALL annoying ;)

Ain't that the truth.

For spring break, senior year, we went to Ft. Lauderdale. My roommate's (the same one who made dinner at 3 a.m.) father owned a condo there so we stayed for free. He owned a condo in a retirement community. The first night we got drunk on the balcony and came up with a pretty vulgar chant. The next day, we were confronted about our chant by an 80 year old lady.

We had the cops called on us multiple times each day. Once, I was smoking a cigarette in the hallway with a girl we'd picked up the night before (I don't smoke, but I occasionally had one while drinking in college). A cop walked up.

Cop: "You staying here?"

Me: "Yep."

Cop: "Been this loud all night?"

(You could vaguely hear some music coming from a boombox at medium volume emanating from the apartment and some nondescript chatter inside.)

Me: "Yep."

Cop: "Okay."

With that, he turned and walked away. No lecture. No advice. I'm sure he thought the situation was ridiculous. In truth, we were having a few drinks before going out for the night with some ladies we met. We'd hit the bars at 10:00 and stay out until they closed at 4 a.m.. Then we'd pass out and sleep until noon or so. We did that for 6 days straight.

Riding my road bike on the shoulder, minding my own bees wax some a hole and his buddy pull along side me and blasted an air horn, used to signal the bridge tender to raise the bridge, right into my ear. The thing was so loud I almost wrecked. He and I were at the crest of a long hill where I can easily hit 45. He speeds away and I keep him in sight. I watch as he goes through an intersection and parks at a Safeway. I just make the light and stop to watch him and his buddy go into the store still laughing. I pull up to his truck and very nervously pull my pen knife and used it on each side wall. Got back on my bike and got the he!! Out of there. God was I nervous, but had a job to do. Didn’t stick around for the fireworks. Celebrated that night with an extra beer.

Another back in college tale. I was with some of my pals and we went to the sporting goods store for some stuff to tune up the skis. It was about 40* outside and we headed back to the dorms. We were at the base of Folsom Field going uphill and there was a huge puddle. We slowed to let a jogger pass the puddle, and were timing it to pass the puddle just after he did. Well, the jogger slowed and got caught in a giant wave.

OMG, just reminded me of one of my less than proud moments when taking my starter wife to work one rainy day, there was a huge puddle next to a bus stop. There was a guy waiting there a little too close. There was a car on my left so I couldn’t change lanes to avoid it and stupidly didn’t think fast enough to slow way down and completely drenched the dude. Should he have been standing there? No. Should I have given him a bath at 7:00 AM, no. My wife gave me a real earful and wanted me to turn around and apologize and give him money for dry cleaning. Being stubborn and prideful, no such luck. And yes I said starter wife.

Yes, but I believe you are still above the grounds.

Most decline to answer under the grounds, if the option of declining is still possessed,

A friend and I met a couple of girls walking into a bar one weekend. One girl was giving me grief. Who knows why, but I got tired of it.

When we left, I pilfered the rotor out of her VW bug...

Sometimes I feel bad about it.

College - living in the dorm - and a couple guys lived next to us that would always be loud during the week and nobody could sleep - usually because they were bringing back drunk, skanky sorority members.

I took a small can of tuna, put the tiniest hole in the top, and hid it in the heater in their room about a week before a cold snap hit.

The first week had no real effect - then they had to run their heater. By then, the can had undoubtedly started to rot. Soon they had trouble keeping visitors. They looked for the source of the smell but never found it and finished the semester that way...

This really isn't PC now, but 35 years ago it was okay. I used to crank Eddie Murphy Raw on my boombox and the guys would be laughing their asses off. The dorm was 5 stories and shaped like an H. I was off the intersection of the H, and the women were around the corner from me. One of the guys from the other end of the H asked me to lend him the tape. He cranked it up and the entire dorm could hear it! His room was half full of stereo eqpt. lol Man, we would get in trouble for that kind of crap from the overly sensitive types these days.

There were NO overly sensitive types in my dorm back in the day...there might have been a couple on campus....they transferred :)

I sorta went to a "party school"* ....

* means I was enrolled there...classes were optional for many of us ;).

Right after H.S my roommate & I went to visit another friend in a town 40 or 50 miles away. We were hanging around & the guy asked if we wanted to get some booze & of course we said yes. According to him there was a rich attorney who had some acreage and a guest house in the country. He used it for him & his friends to take their lady friends for fun & games. There was a keeper's house on the long driveway in. So there were four of us. We dropped two guys off beside the field, and they hiked across the field over to the guest house. I drove back & forth a few times until we say them again beside the road & picked them up. They reported the house was open (so the guy's friends would use it any time) and there was a whole liquor closet full of booze. So we drove quietly past the keeper's house (some time after he'd turned off his lights) and pulled up on the lawn in front of the guest house. Went inside and made a sort of fire brigade line passing cases of liquor out to the car. Filled up the trunk and had cases between our legs on the floor and between us on the seats. He had some nice guns in there but we didn't want to piss him off by taking any of them. We quietly drove out past the keeper's house and divvied up everything between us. It was party time for many months afterwards.

I may have informed some folks about how putting stinky cheese on a heat exchanger of a furnace could yield the house of an abusive boyfriend to be less than attractive smelling.

But then again, maybe not.

And some other stuff. Mostly forgotten due to drink and time.

We would go out in college, get drunk, and then on the walk back home, I'd break off a random cars' antenna and use it to break their headlights.






Today me would chase down and kill past me if past me did that to today me's car.

In Boy Scouts......

Put hands of certain scouts into warm water while sleeping.

Dropped blind minnows into mouth of sleeping scout master.

Rowed our boat down river with a tall pole and flashlight while blowing an air horn to make the bridge master open the draw bridge.

I don't recall any pranks after leaving the scouts.....

I'm extremely disappointed to hear this, Rick. They may have scared the hell out of you, but they did you no harm. Certainly could have, but did not. In stark contrast, you cost the owner of the car a good deal of time and money. Confronting them like a man would have been respectable. This was anything but. This was cowardly, low life bullsheet. Very, very disappointing. :(

Put a stinky, road killed skunk in the trunk, under the spare tire in a guys car. He deserved it and got more but not from me. Casually mentioned the skunk thing around some people that had some wild stories themselves. Few weeks later he woke to his car being rolled side over side down his street by an unmanned bulldozer. After that decided it was much better to just leave that kind of stuff to "professionals".

I once had somebody park.a black Audi in a parking lot full of Porsches.

I worked at a parking garage for an office building during college. These arseholes from upstairs came back from lunch and left a mess in the garage. My partner went to clean up the mess, and put their stinky Chinese wine back in their car, via the door window gasket.

Once wrapped a dorm toilet with saran wrap. Okay twice.

We sometimes tossed small pieces of metallic sodium out of the lab window into the snow banks below just to watch peoples reactions.

The funniest was taking advantage of the proximity of a sink to a desk. In those days we had reducers on the water faucet that allowed tygon tubing to be attached. I attached a line, ran it behind the benches and taped it to the underside of a desk top in the kneehole. When a guy I wanted to prank sat down I'd turn on the water and the stream would hit him in the crotch. Good times!

Did that one. Always seemed to get noticed before hand.

The best one was to put some ketchup packets under the toilet seat lid so that they got smashed when someone sat down....

It was a simple basic prank, but one that was almost impossible to fix once the tide started moving...had a jerk guy at the unit so we called JC Whitney and requested a catalog in his name. Apparently once a name is in the system getting the name changed was pretty futile.

It started showing up in the station mail box almost monthly and at that same time tons of other junk mail bearing the proud title of....

MK2 John Smith Man-Lover

That catalog followed him most of his career, from unit to unit, a simple call to change the address. Some guys can take this sort of stuff with a smile. He wasn't one of those.:D-WW

In college, we'd send the Book of Mormon, Viagra information kits, a free first volume of a Time-Life collection, a timeshare information kit, etc. to people we didn't like. ;)

It never occurred to us to get creative with the name...

There was this one neighbor that used to complain about the leaves blowing into his yard.

I fixed him by making sure I put my trashcan closer to his house than mine.

Must have drove him nuts.

https://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images...eviewonder.jpg

Back in my days as a kid, still living at home with mom and dad on an Air Force Base, still riding my bike everywhere.......
I had a similar experience. One of a real A-hole kids on base was driving his car. He too LOVED to pull up next to kid on a bike and lay on his loud horn, and laugh his ass off if the kid crashed. He had a distinctive GTO, and his dad was a general. He knew no one was was going to complain to his dad.
My great luck was one of my buddies had a dad that was a full bird colonel and they lived right next door to the A-hole kid. We could dress all in dark clothes, in the dark of night and get to the A-holes car. At first we would just unscrew all the valve stems and take the cores. That takes too long and he A-hole kept honking at kids on bikes. So we started clipping off, or slicing the valve stems. That meant a flat bed wrecker and a trip to the tire store. He kept honking, we kept clipping. Finally one of the kids dad's mentioned to the general about seeing the car leave on a flatbed again. That was mentioned at my friends family dinner and the dad was told about the A-hole honking at kids and making several kids on base crash and get lots of road rash. Word finally tricked back, no more honking, no more cut valve stems. A truce was declared.

I don't want you guys to think less of me - :)

As far as I know there are no statue of limitations .................... maybe ;)

Well, alright! Some good ones.

I'll share another. I was building a swimming pool for myself in 1978 but I couldn't really do a lot except the tile work. I was simply the contractor rather than a SP contractor making a bundle. When it came to getting a pool plumber, one was recommended by the excavator. He came, we talked about equipment, performance, etc. I was pretty young and green to be doing something like this even though I had a nice size room addition going on at the same time in the same place.

He was slick. This guy could sell a hot dog to a vegan and he had me lined up for a pool and spa that the MGM Grand would be jealous of.

The room add actually was in such a design that we had to dig the pool, install rebar and rough plumbing and then the gunnite. It was to sit then for 2 months while I finished the room, the decking and the tile. Now getting back to me being green, I let this pool plumber take half to start the job and he did supplying and installing the PVC piping before steel. That turned out to be about 15% of the total expense so he's ahead of me by about $1000.

I do the rest of the room add and I'm ready for him — he's no where to be found. I went to his plumbing yard and could see though the office windows that the multi-line phones were all put on 'hold' and the 4 lines (total) were blinking in unison. No wonder it was always busy. I could see the phone lines coming in from the pole (remember, 1978) and attached to the side of the building. I pulled a rope out of my truck and threw it over the lines, made a loop, pulled up a cinch near the building and then tie tied the other end to my hitch.

I just drove off with the lines following me down the street. If I wasn't going to be able to call in, then they weren't going to be able to call out. They went bankrupt anyway. I paid 2wice to eventually have my pool pumps, heater and spa equipment bought and installed.

I put about 100 crickets in a college dorm room under the built in dressers and beds. I still think that was funny.

Sounds like a bunch of college age kids doing stupid siht, not adults. Big difference if we do this now and could end up costing us. Yes, I normally drag the cans back in front of their place before the trashtruck comes before I go off to work

We had this really unfair history teacher back in high school. He had his favorites, of course, to all the kids who would agree with his political point of view. I copied his old student's "A" paper word for word and turned it in. He gave me a big fat "F" only because he hated my guts, mainly I would talk crap to him and question him when I get sick of listening to his BS. I knew he didn't read my paper.

I waited until the last week of the semester and stole his roll book. I knew he had every single one of his student's whole semester grades in that thing and that they had to turn it in before they go off the summer. Well, poof, gone along with his room keys. I threw it in the big dumpsters in the back of the school. Each dumpsters had few pages of his roll book. Somehow, I got a C like most of the kids in class. I knew that he had to stay up nights to fake all the grades before it was due the next week. I never mentioned that to anyone until this post.

Jeff, I guess I should tell you I just did yours too.

Epilogue: since that event I have permanent ringing in my ear which really takes off if exposed to any loud noises.

Pickup drivers have been the worst antagonists while riding my bike, which is always as far over on the shoulder as possible. I have been spit on, cheery bombed, cans of soda thrown, yelled at countless times, had one truck pull off the shoulder in front of me in gravel and wait for my approach and then gunned it spraying rocks, run off the road, my wife and I were on our tandem and had a vanilla milkshake thrown and hit us (yummy), hit by a boat being pulled by a truck and the all time topper was being shot at with the bullet whooshing by my front wheel and hitting a fern by a group of alcohol fueled hunters. I called the Sheriffs Dept. To say I have a special place in my heart for a-hole pickup drivers (not all, just the a-holes) would be an understatement. Maybe, just maybe, I was mad as hell and wasn’t going to take it anymore. And yeah you are right, a 155 lb skinny guy in spandex and cleats would have no problem taking on two dudes. The defense rests.

“Now cut out all that macho s^^^ and learn how to play guitar.”

Two more. One similar to WW’s.

Sent the little post cards to the Army, Navy, Air Force, etc with my friends name asking for information.

Months go by and he finally mentions the bombardment of phone calls from recruiters. I had forgotten all about, but got a chuckle out of it.

My senior year of high school, I put a rubber band on the sink sprayer in the classroom we were in. Thought some kid would get soaked later.

My teacher, the HOTTEST teacher at school walks up to the sink. I’m thinking, no, no, no!

She wasn’t happy.