Tell us about your dastardly deeds...

[Zeke]

This topic is inspired by look 171's thread, "Another azzhold neighbor thread, what would you do?" So many comments about stealing, rattlesnakes , manure, poo, etc. I want to hear from the the same posters what you actually have performed in a similar situation. You read mine:

"... let me tell you about my experience with that. There was a large tree that hung over my fence and just about over the pool on a house I owned in the '80's. Many times during high winds that tree would fill my pool. One time a branch broke off and landed slap in my pool. I went over the fence and cut the tree down right to the top of the fence while the wife watched me from the window. They were renters and didn't seem to care but I would have done that if the owner lived there.

I did speak up about it once or 2wice asking them to contact the landlord. I guess I did him a favor, BUT, I left all the debris in their yard and went back over the fence."

If you ask for a dance, you'd better know how to dance.

[oldE]

Over forty years ago, the guys in the rooms next to mine at university were party animals, loud and not too concerned about their behaviour after ten PM. Since the rooms in that residence were so small the doors had to swing out into the hallway, the hinge pins were on the outside. The last week, toward the end of exams, I removed the hinge pins from their doors. Yep, that's about as BA as I get.
However, if a neighbour repeatedly put his garbage cans in front of my house after being asked to desist, I would indeed move said cans from where they improperly placed them to the middle of their driveway. If I had to do it more than once, I wouldn't be too careful and the cans might spill all over their yard.

Best
Les

[legion]

In college:

Had one guy on the floor that was persistently annoying. We "penny locked" him in his dorm room. Basically you got one guy to put his back to the door and his feet on the opposing wall and push as hard as he could. The other guy puts a stack of pennies in the expanded gap as close to the lock as possible, then you leave. It basically puts tons of pressure on the lock mechanism. So much that he broke his door handle off and had to call maintenance to get him out of his room.

Once, in a spate of boredom, we pledged (as in emptied an entire can of pledge on) the linoleum tiles outside the elevators in the dorm. In February. On a Saturday night. When it was snowing. People came back from the bars drunk with wet shoes and couldn't seem to stay upright.

Had a roommate that liked to make dinner at 3:00 a.m. when I shared an apartment with 3 other guys. My room was next to the kitchen. I got woken up every morning as he banged pots and pans, slammed cabinet doors, and played loud music while cooking. I asked him several times to be quieter. He ignored me. I taped snap pop inside the lip of every cabinet door and went to bed. The first cabinet he slammed caused a loud explosion and caused him to have to change his pants. He was quieter after that.

Same guy, a few years earlier was my roommate in the dorms. He was very fussy about his stuff. He once berated someone for over an hour for putting his scissors back in his drawer with the handle on the wrong side. But he had no problem freely borrowing and occasionally breaking other people's stuff. On April Fool's Day, we cleared out his side of the room after he left for class. He returned to find his side of the room completely bare (which was quite a feat, as he crammed 3x the times of stuff on his side of the room as the average college dorm dweller). He came back from class and simply said: "My stuff better be back by dinner." So we painstakingly put everything back...in completely the wrong place.

[Jeff Higgins]

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap? I guess I have a few. All pretty harmless, I guess.

One of my buddies (and a room mate before I got married) was, like many of us, working on his four wheeler and dirt bike all of the time. No big deal - except he didn't have any tools. He used mine. No big deal either, but he just never cleaned them up and put them away when he was finished. I don't have to tell you guys, that was a big deal. I never really did get all that mad at him, but I certainly let him know that if he wanted to keep using them, he would have to do better. He never did.

So I finally started messing with him. He was working nights, I was working days, so his truck was always in the driveway in the morning. So I would put about a dollar bill sized puddle of anti-freeze under it before I left for work every morning. This went on for weeks, with him looking in vain for the leak. He finally pulled the radiator one Saturday (using my tools, of course, and I even helped) and went and got it pressure tested. Nothing. No leaks. So he bought all new hoses for the reinstallation. When he went to do that on Sunday, I was nowhere to be found and my tools were locked up.

This was in the days before cell phones, of course. He called everyone we knew looking for me. He was in a panic, since he had to get it back together so he could drive it to work that afternoon (Sunday night was his "Monday"). I was actually with the first guy he called, but of course he "hadn't seen me". He got more and more panicked with everyone he called, at least according to them in our "after action debriefing" (sitting around drinking beer together, laughing our asses off at him the next weekend).

I finally got home about an hour before he had to be at work. No time to put it back together, of course. So I let him borrow my car. He asked me to make sure I left my toolbox unlocked for him for the next day, so he could put it back together. I took that opportunity to explain what had just happened to him and why, and just what it would take for him to be allowed access to my tools (no, not that one...) in the future. He was absolutely beyond pissed off. By the next weekend, though, we were sharing a beer and laughing about it. He was super vigilant about cleaning and putting away tools after that.

[pwd72s]

I decline to answer under the grounds....

[KFC911]

As I posted in that thread...I cut a neighbor's fence "just a bit" back in early Aug. in the middle of a freakin' storm to mitigate flooding. That was bad enough during that storm. I've since cut out a whole section, 'cause we've had five even worse rain events since then. Don't know wtf they were thinking, just don't care. Don't know if it was the current owner or his dad (deceased now), but if he wants to discuss it....I'll be glad too . No regrets on that one....none whatsoever.

I probably shouldn't have tapped that dumbazz from Indiana who was playing bs "brake checking" games though. Azzhole had slowed down to about 5 mph....so I just bumped him pretty good....he pulled over...I went on about my bidness.

[id10t]

First job was in a parking lot near UF - parking only for the handful of business in the plaza, NOT for the book store, or hte bar, or to go to the game, etc.

Some a-hole lawyer drives up from Miami in his new Mercedes and parks in "my" lot to go to the game. Being the professional speed bump that I was, I stopped him, told him he had to move, or I'd have to call the cops to have them write him a ticket. He pulls the angry lawyer card, starts screaming about suing me if I have him ticketed, blah blah blah. So I say "Welp, I've done my job - up to you" and go back to my perch. He looks at me for a moment, then turns to walk the 4 blocks to the stadium.

He musta slept through half his classes - our big prominent sign said "ticketed or towed/impounded". I was being nice, and offering to just ticket him. But since he was an ass, I called my boss and asked if I could go full bore and have someone towed. Explained the whole thing, boss agrees with me, and then I start giggling. He asks why, I explain that I just realized it is game day, and all the tow companies are busy... so I'll have to call one from 3 counties out in the sticks

So ... my 15 year old bad ass self had some scummy lawyer from Miami's brand new Mercedes jacked up by Billy Joe Jim Bob and dropped in an impound lot out in Keystone Heights, Fl somewhere (about half way between g'ville and Jax). Sadly, game was over after my work day was, and in fact all of the merchants in the plaza except for the laundromat were closed. Would've loved to see the guy throw a fit...

[WPOZZZ]

Originally Posted by legion

In college:

Had one guy on the floor that was persistently annoying. We "penny locked" him in his dorm room. Basically you got one guy to put his back to the door and his feet on the opposing wall and push as hard as he could. The other guy puts a stack of pennies in the expanded gap as close to the lock as possible, then you leave. It basically puts tons of pressure on the lock mechanism. So much that he broke his door handle off and had to call maintenance to get him out of his room.

Once, in a spate of boredom, we pledged (as in emptied an entire can of pledge on)

Did that in college, too! We got a lot of dry ice and put them in pots and we cranked up some fans in the hallway. Had a bunch of people in the hall yelling, "OMG, we gotta get out now!"

[KFC911]

I thought everybody got "pennied in" during college...annoying or not....

On second thought....we were ALL annoying

[legion]

Originally Posted by KC911

I thought everybody got "pennied in" during college...annoying or not....

On second thought....we were ALL annoying

Ain't that the truth.

For spring break, senior year, we went to Ft. Lauderdale. My roommate's (the same one who made dinner at 3 a.m.) father owned a condo there so we stayed for free. He owned a condo in a retirement community. The first night we got drunk on the balcony and came up with a pretty vulgar chant. The next day, we were confronted about our chant by an 80 year old lady.

We had the cops called on us multiple times each day. Once, I was smoking a cigarette in the hallway with a girl we'd picked up the night before (I don't smoke, but I occasionally had one while drinking in college). A cop walked up.

Cop: "You staying here?"

Me: "Yep."

Cop: "Been this loud all night?"

(You could vaguely hear some music coming from a boombox at medium volume emanating from the apartment and some nondescript chatter inside.)

Me: "Yep."

Cop: "Okay."

With that, he turned and walked away. No lecture. No advice. I'm sure he thought the situation was ridiculous. In truth, we were having a few drinks before going out for the night with some ladies we met. We'd hit the bars at 10:00 and stay out until they closed at 4 a.m.. Then we'd pass out and sleep until noon or so. We did that for 6 days straight.

[RSBob]

Riding my road bike on the shoulder, minding my own bees wax some a hole and his buddy pull along side me and blasted an air horn, used to signal the bridge tender to raise the bridge, right into my ear. The thing was so loud I almost wrecked. He and I were at the crest of a long hill where I can easily hit 45. He speeds away and I keep him in sight. I watch as he goes through an intersection and parks at a Safeway. I just make the light and stop to watch him and his buddy go into the store still laughing. I pull up to his truck and very nervously pull my pen knife and used it on each side wall. Got back on my bike and got the he!! Out of there. God was I nervous, but had a job to do. Didn’t stick around for the fireworks. Celebrated that night with an extra beer.

[WPOZZZ]

Another back in college tale. I was with some of my pals and we went to the sporting goods store for some stuff to tune up the skis. It was about 40* outside and we headed back to the dorms. We were at the base of Folsom Field going uphill and there was a huge puddle. We slowed to let a jogger pass the puddle, and were timing it to pass the puddle just after he did. Well, the jogger slowed and got caught in a giant wave.

[RSBob]

Originally Posted by WPOZZZ

Another back in college tale. I was with some of my pals and we went to the sporting goods store for some stuff to tune up the skis. It was about 40* outside and we headed back to the dorms. We were at the base of Folsom Field going uphill and there was a huge puddle. We slowed to let a jogger pass the puddle, and were timing it to pass the puddle just after he did. Well, the jogger slowed and got caught in a giant wave.

OMG, just reminded me of one of my less than proud moments when taking my starter wife to work one rainy day, there was a huge puddle next to a bus stop. There was a guy waiting there a little too close. There was a car on my left so I couldn’t change lanes to avoid it and stupidly didn’t think fast enough to slow way down and completely drenched the dude. Should he have been standing there? No. Should I have given him a bath at 7:00 AM, no. My wife gave me a real earful and wanted me to turn around and apologize and give him money for dry cleaning. Being stubborn and prideful, no such luck. And yes I said starter wife.

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

I decline to answer under the grounds....

Yes, but I believe you are still above the grounds.

Most decline to answer under the grounds, if the option of declining is still possessed,

[A930Rocket]

A friend and I met a couple of girls walking into a bar one weekend. One girl was giving me grief. Who knows why, but I got tired of it.

When we left, I pilfered the rotor out of her VW bug...

Sometimes I feel bad about it.

[fanaudical]

College - living in the dorm - and a couple guys lived next to us that would always be loud during the week and nobody could sleep - usually because they were bringing back drunk, skanky sorority members.

I took a small can of tuna, put the tiniest hole in the top, and hid it in the heater in their room about a week before a cold snap hit.

The first week had no real effect - then they had to run their heater. By then, the can had undoubtedly started to rot. Soon they had trouble keeping visitors. They looked for the source of the smell but never found it and finished the semester that way...

[WPOZZZ]

This really isn't PC now, but 35 years ago it was okay. I used to crank Eddie Murphy Raw on my boombox and the guys would be laughing their asses off. The dorm was 5 stories and shaped like an H. I was off the intersection of the H, and the women were around the corner from me. One of the guys from the other end of the H asked me to lend him the tape. He cranked it up and the entire dorm could hear it! His room was half full of stereo eqpt. lol Man, we would get in trouble for that kind of crap from the overly sensitive types these days.

[KFC911]

There were NO overly sensitive types in my dorm back in the day...there might have been a couple on campus....they transferred

I sorta went to a "party school"* ....

* means I was enrolled there...classes were optional for many of us .

[Evans, Marv]

Right after H.S my roommate & I went to visit another friend in a town 40 or 50 miles away. We were hanging around & the guy asked if we wanted to get some booze & of course we said yes. According to him there was a rich attorney who had some acreage and a guest house in the country. He used it for him & his friends to take their lady friends for fun & games. There was a keeper's house on the long driveway in. So there were four of us. We dropped two guys off beside the field, and they hiked across the field over to the guest house. I drove back & forth a few times until we say them again beside the road & picked them up. They reported the house was open (so the guy's friends would use it any time) and there was a whole liquor closet full of booze. So we drove quietly past the keeper's house (some time after he'd turned off his lights) and pulled up on the lawn in front of the guest house. Went inside and made a sort of fire brigade line passing cases of liquor out to the car. Filled up the trunk and had cases between our legs on the floor and between us on the seats. He had some nice guns in there but we didn't want to piss him off by taking any of them. We quietly drove out past the keeper's house and divvied up everything between us. It was party time for many months afterwards.

[LWJ]

I may have informed some folks about how putting stinky cheese on a heat exchanger of a furnace could yield the house of an abusive boyfriend to be less than attractive smelling.

But then again, maybe not.

And some other stuff. Mostly forgotten due to drink and time.