When the father of the bride talk goes wrong
 

Heard a new one recently. Co-worker has a neighbor and they take care of each others houses on vacation...mail, newspaper, etc. The neighbor asked my co-worker a couple weeks ago to watch his house this past weekend, a relative was getting married. They left Friday night and Saturday afternoon they were back home. My co-worker asked if something had happened and the neighbor said oh ya, wedding got cancelled the morning of.

I suppose this kind of thing happens but I've never heard of this particular reason.

Apparently the father of the bride and his sons had a sit down with the groom the night before and gave the typical "If you ever hurt her..." BS talk and the groom, apparently, got a little scared. My co-worker thinks the FIL was/is in law enforcement, so groom didn't take it as playful banter. After talking with the bride to be and basically saying that he had no intention of hurting her but he wouldn't live his life in fear that she take something the wrong way, or accuse him of cheating when he wasn't, or whatever and called it off.

The neighbor didn't hear all the conversations or have all the details, but there was a ton of drama as one would expect, the bride wanted to father to apologize and he wouldn't, the groom didn't want that cloud over his head, and that was that. No wedding.

I dont know, maybe the groom had cold feet and this was an out he saw, or possibly he really did fear the dad, and I don't blame him, sometimes women get crazy thoughts and maybe she runs to dad and says he hit her, or whatever.

Neighbor was just happy that it was just a lost night at a hotel and a car ride, I guess there were lots of family members who flew in for the event.

Smart groom. Get out before things get complicated.

That's pretty messed up all around.

Sounds like maybe the Groom had a glimpse into the family he was about to join and thought better of it. Good for him.

It takes all kinds.

I worked as a wedding photographer for many years. I have been to way too many weddings. From over the top stupid expensive, (50 or 60 grand) to getting married at home, and beeny-weenies as the only food. I have often wished I could see the stats on how many of the couples I saw get married are still married to each other.

One wedding I vividly remember was a couple that as I went to interview with them about what to expect from me and the cost of the photos the had me meet them at a local night club. The groom had a stupid looking Foo Man Cho mustache that dangled down 6 inches or so on each side of his mouth. The bride convinced his buddies and the best man to hold him down at his bachelor party and cut the mustache back to his lips. And the did it.

That was a great start to a marriage. I hurried the photos through and got my money in short order.

I never officially retired from wedding photography, I just raised my prices to 10 grand just to show up for the consultation and the photography is additional. So far no one wants to pay that so I am safe. :cool:

happy ending

Father would not apologize after causing a train wreck, yeah better to get out now.
Father is there to support his daughters choice, not go on a power trip and not back down. I hope she makes his life hell as only a jilted bride can. Or they elope

Or...the Groom to be was already having an affair.

or the dad was in love with the groom ;)

That is dodging a bullet, in more ways than one.

One slight update I got: The never to be father in law has been married and divorced, twice.

Doesn't sound like he has a leg to stand on dishing out advice to anyone.

The real loser in all this, unless she's a whack job, is the bride. She really didn't do anything wrong from the sound of it, and now she will be forever known as "that" girl to friends and family.

The La Brea Tar Pits just called, they want their dinosaurs back. Idiots.

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Yep. I've never gotten that whole macho/stupid father of the girl crap. If anyone hurt my sister, I'd probably break all his bones but I'm not going to presage the event or assume the worst about someone who seems like a nice person.

And guess what? No one has ever hurt my sisters that I'm aware of. That's usually how life works out. As for women who really are in relationships w bad guys, that's another subject and having a talk w the guy ain't going to do squat. I'll leave it at that.

Well, from a distance it is difficult to say.

If the family is just watching out; then no loss, they filtered out a loser.

If the family is genuinely nuts; she should move away.

Or the dad is in love with the daughter...was this in Florida? LOL

Wise groom.

My bet is on the groom not having a clean conscience. Otherwise one could laugh it off. Maybe the family knew something was up in the past - and told him if it happened again, they'd chill him.

I don't know, the whole thing sounds FUBAR, so probably was the best outcome for everyone involved!

G

My wife’s family said not to marry her.

After 33 years, I think they were right.

Mar-a-Lago, actually

All's well that ends well....sounds like a perfect wedding if ya ask me :)

pretty GD close to perfect

My brother was a cadet at West Point back in the 60s. They were not allowed to get married until they graduated. So, many cadets reserved a time slot at the chapel at West Point to get married right after graduation. His roommate had it all lined up but was jilted by his fiancée a few months before the graduation. He quickly went out a dredged up a new bride so he would not loose his time slot. After meeting her, my brother and a group of friends decided that it would never work. To "save him" hey got him passed out drunk the night before the wedding, drove him to an airport in NYC and put him on a flight to Paris, France.

The groom had cold feet and found the excuse to bail.

Any bride or groom that can be convinced that "if you hurt xxx, we'll hurt you" isn't in it for the long game. If you were, you'd never hurt the other person and you couldn't be talked out of the wedding.

Cold feet!

angela

If I was the groom I would call the bride when my future father in law was threatening me. I would ask her to come over and I would express the urgency in it. When she shows up I would ask her father to repeat what he said and we would all have a discussion in the open with everyone present.

If I wasn't satisfied, I would give the bride the option of either eloping or cancel the wedding.

In car sales there is the expression that "sometimes the best deal you make is the one your turned down". Think about this: if the bride was a little crazy and then the groom saw the crazy meter go off the chart with "dad", he may have decided it wasn't worth the risk. Like others have said, if she is the kind that would run to daddy every time he didn't buy what she wanted or do what she wanted...
Hey, how do you get a restraining order for your FIL when he is a LEO?

An ex and I had already bought flights to a relative's (of her) wedding in Columbus, OH. Groom got cold feet a day or two before and called it off. There were already relatives from the Philippines there. We decided to go anyway and hang with my then-GF's brother and GF. It was already paid for. It was actually a fun weekend, and I never had to deal with anyone else in the family.

A frat brother was engaged to a real crazy control freak, who had had his dog put to sleep and said he could only have family at the wedding, while she could have family and friends. Our gang discussed in all seriousness kidnapping him before the wedding, but decided against it. 15 years later they're still married, but he is a different person and all communication with him goes through her.

I once dated a woman who's 21 year old daughter banned her from the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. I guess she figured mom would have gotten drunk and spilled the beans that when the bride and groom were split up for a weekend in the past, the bride slept with the best man. That's the story she told me and she's sticking to it. And the bride, she was supposedly well aware of her mother knowing it.

Or he could have had some fun with the old guy.

Something like "I'm pleased you think like that. And by the way never make my wife cry or the Italian/Irish/Samoan mafia will f' you up the a' then drown you in the East River. Haha ha ha, I'm pleased we are both on the same page."

Anybody that feels the need to issues hard threats towards the groom, the day before the wedding..
And doesn't want to apologize.. Pure sabotage and probably knew something we don't.

That's a well planned hitjob.

If he truly loved her would have mentally said go fork yourself and carried on with the wedding.

What I don't understand is the "need for an apology" bit.

Back in the days when the world was still black and white, and I was still a teenager, I went to a girls house to pick her up for a date.

Her dad met me at the door, and he filled the doorway. He was 6.4 and mostly muscle and looked like a football coach that had not gotten fat yet. His hand swallowed mine as we shook hands and he invited me in. He pointed at the couch and the open seat in the middle. On one end was the "baby" brother who was 6.6 or so and played in high school football. On the right was big brother and he too was 6.6 or so and in his early 20s and was a Alabama football lineman. His arms were bigger than my legs. His neck was the size of my waist.

Dad asked where I worked, and about my parents and basic chit chat. Then he he made the simple statement, "you will have my daughter home by 11:00, right" Yes sir.

When we pulled away from her house she started apologizing for her dad and brothers. She then proceeded to make up for it, and all I will say about except that is she was indeed home by 11:00

That's okay, an elderly woman on her fourth marriage was giving me marriage advice yesterday - it's all in good fun. :D

When my wife and I got married 27 years ago it was "latter in life" and I was in my late 30s and so was my bride. We found a minister to do the service and he of course wanted to "council" us on marriage. He was about our age if not a few years younger.

So he gets into family history of divorce. My parents and my bride's parents both married for 50+ years. My brother was married for over 25 years her brother had been married for over 25 years, and they are still married. OK, change subject, and he get into finances. We have separate bank accounts (and still do), and both have good jobs and we each own a house and had paid for cars and had little debt then. He was stumbling around trying to find anything else to say, so I asked if I could just pay him and we can get out of there. We did. It was a total waste of time.

An Army buddy was going on 2 weeks leave to get married and honeymoon. I saw him back on post after only 4-5 days leave. I asked him what happened, how was the wedding. I guess he got drunk with his brothers in a bar the morning of the wedding and he went straight to the airport, leaving her at the altar and jumped on a plane back to Germany, just split.

He was pretty nervous for a few weeks, apparently the bride's brothers were ready to hunt him down and put a serious hurt on him. I thought it was a pretty effed up thing to do but he didn't seem to be too bothered by it.

My daughter is very cute, always has been. But I've absolutely never even considered leveling threats against a guy "in case he hurts her". That's just silly stupid, and creates unnecessary tension.

Growing up, I made very few jokes with her about dating. I wanted her be clear and smart about with whom she socialized. I believe we were on the same page in that regard. My rule was I'd meet the guy before their first date at my house. Simply said hello, shook their hand, asked what they had planned, etc. Easy and nice stuff.

I trust her judgement, 100%. When her husband asked me for her hand, I told him the "permission comes from her, I trust her".


She's now 31, married, baby, doing very well.


About 10 years ago, I was at my local watering hole and a couple guys about 21 were sitting there. One began chatting with me, he dated her briefly in HS. And he brought up that meeting at my house. He said "Sir, that set the tone for our dating. Even though you were very polite and nonthreatening, I knew without question you were not to be crossed."

He also added he had other dads play it the other way, and said those girls were the crazy party ones and my daughter was focused and driven on education. Gawd I love that girl. Sooo smart.


As a rule, I never joke or make idle bs statements about what I'd do if...

Well sure, it's so much better when it's a surprise. ;) :D

Lol, Girls typically brought me home to rebel against daddy.

the Dads really never worried me at all, despite that I was known around town as a school drop out and part time delinquent

It usually ended up with me chugging beers with the dad and daughter cheezed off that the rebelling failed to work out...
Then dumping me and being even more annoyed because i'de regulary re-appear chugging beers with the dad at later public occasions or at his company for some some computer work for his company ...

The dads that had a scary reputation were usually the easiest to get along with :D

Unfortunately I talked to my coworker hoping for an update but the neighbor isnt a close relative to the would be bride and hasn't heard much other than she was crushed and pissed at every male who was involved.