Free Panorama issues July '08 - Feb '04

[lendaddy]

I will even pay the shipping but the "winner" [debatable moniker] will be the one that posts the funniest/most entertaining *personally embarrassing story (**as decided by me) by the EOB tomorrow. If there are no takers I will burn them whilst enjoying a German brew of marginal quality.

*can be of a close friend or relative just don't make chit up
**I will accept input from the peanut gallery

aaaaand go...

[ckissick]

I'm out. I've never done anything embarrassing in my life.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by ckissick

I'm out. I've never done anything embarrassing in my life.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't either.

Do I win ?

[lendaddy]

I feared this may happen, the good news is that I like fire.

[Sooner or later]

Two entries so I am disqualified.

Probably more funny than embarrassing.

A close buddy, Terry, and myself were camping and fishing in the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge. After the evening campfire it was bed time.

I slid into the sleeping bag and after a short time I felt this itch on the crack of my azz. I knew that itch, it was a damn tick. As hard as I tried I couldn't get a pinch on the "sucker". It was small and my butt hair long.

So the dirty deed was up to Terry. I bared all with my butt in the air. Terry, with a flashlight, was bent over me and digging around and he found the thing and plucked it off.

During the procedure we couldn't stop laughing at what our fellow campers might have envisioned when they saw our shadows on the tent wall.

Entry #2....

Back in the 70's I worked night shift at the only all night grocery store in town. I knew every cop, pimp, and whore in town by name.

One night off I had a date with a really fine lady. After a movie we decided to go to IHOP for a late night breakfast. Just as we get to the door it opens and out comes John. Not just John but A JOHN. With one of his ladies. They were both peacocked out so there was no doubt about their areas of expertise.

John "Hey, Phil, who be your lady friend!"
Me "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Becky."
John "She be lookin' fine. You alls have fun tonight!"

Seconds later:
Becky " Who.....was.....that....?????"
Me "Uhhhhhh, customers from work...."

Needless to say it was a quick breakfast and a one time date.

[KFC911]

"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time"

Enjoy the Panos SOL....LOL...yer the weiner

[SCadaddle]

Back in the 90's, when people still had home telephones.....

My friend Barry is in his bedroom talking on the phone to my friend Tim.

About that time, Barry's wife, Ellen, picks up the phone in the kitchen and starts dialing.

"Ellen, I'm on the phone, Ellen...." exclaims Barry over the phone...

Tim goes silent

Barry says "Hello?"

Ellen says "Is this the Kroger Deli?"

Barry says "Hang on a minute"....he pushes a button on the phone to make a tone..

Barry says "Deli! How can I help you?"

Ellen says "Yes, I need to get a birthday cake, and was wondering if you have a Casper the Ghost birthday cake?" (Popular movie at the time)

Barry replies "Ahhh, yes Ma'am, we do, but they are all chocolate with chocolate icing."

Ellen replies "You don't have a white Casper the Ghost cake with white icing?"

Barry replies "No Ma'am, just chocolate"

Ellen replies "Hmm, that might not work"

Barry replies "How old is the child having the birthday?"

Ellen replies "He's 6"

Barry replies "Oh, just go ahead and get one of these chocolate ones, he'll never know the difference."

Ellen replies "Well, I don't know"

Barry replies "Are you married?"

Ellen replies "Why yes I am..."

Barry replies "Are you happy?"

Before Ellen could reply, Barry let her know that she was talking to him and NOT the Kroger Deli. I think she beat him pretty bad after that. Tim got to witness it all first hand!

(And I don't need a pile of magazines!)

[Baz]

Why don't you donate the magazines to the local high school car club, if they have one?

Or drop them off at a local goodwill store or the like. We have a Habitat for Humanity thrift store here that does a good job with used goods.

[GH85Carrera]

As a 43 year member of PCA I don't need any more Panoramas.

Year ago (mid 1980s) the photography company I worked for was hired to take pictures at a big golf tournament at a exclusive country club. We shot pictures of the guys playing in each foursome, on 35 mm slides, then ran back to the lab, and process the film, and projected them on the wall that night at the big banquet. It was almost magic to see pictures that very evening of a big event. Today with digital it is routine.

Anyway we knew that with just pictures of the members it would get boring fast and few would watch. So a few days before the big tournament, we went to local costume shop and picked and chose a wild outfit, like a cross between a leprechaun and the ugliest golf getup ever. Just over the top silly stuff. I was the lucky one to wear it. Then we went all of the course and shot pictures of me doing silly thing with a golf club and golf ball. We used all 18 holes to get funny pictures.

We interspersed those photos with the other photos to make it look like I was there. It kept people watching the show, and got several laughs.

After we had shot the photos of me in costume the boss took us to lunch. I walked into a local steak restaurant dressed in um, unusual garb. The boss had already bet I would not do it, so he paid for lunch. I was not embarrassed at all, but the photographer helper and the boss were.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by Baz

Why don't you donate the magazines to the local high school car club, if they have one?

Or drop them off at a local goodwill store or the like. We have a Habitat for Humanity thrift store here that does a good job with used goods.

Great idea, I'll ship them to you and you can set that up in your local. Just PM me your address.

[lendaddy]

Great stories BTW guys, I'm already happy with the result

[Rusty Heap]

Winner:


sex
beeeeeeeer
multiple women.

21st b-day party.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

Great idea, I'll ship them to you and you can set that up in your local. Just PM me your address.

If you are serious, you got a deal. Send me a PM and I will respond with my addy.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by Baz

If you are serious, you got a deal. Send me a PM and I will respond with my addy.

Absolutely, PM on the way.

Thanks everyone and I appreciate the stories even though no one actually wanted these

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

Absolutely, PM on the way.

Thanks everyone and I appreciate the stories even though no one actually wanted these

They are great magazines, but just like National Geographic, no one really wants em.

A few years back I went to a local hospital for a CT scan. As I sat down in the waiting room I looked at the magazines there. On the tape was a bunch of National Geographic. I picked one up and it was all about NASA and the upcoming Apollo missions to go to the moon. Talk about old magazines in the waiting room!

Evidently some grandma had died, and the family brought the Nat Geo collection to the hospital and gave it to them.

[lendaddy]

No doubt, I just packed these up and there is [if nothing else] some truly fantastic cover art on many of these issues. I thumbed a few and got nostalgic but in the end I know I'll never crack 'em again. 22 year old me would have read them cover to cover (a couple times) had they been given to me.

[GH85Carrera]

Yea, Leonard Turner was a great photographer and had some fantastic covers, and photos throughout the Panorama. We had know each other since the 1970s and he used my Hassleblad Super wide for a few shots at War Bonnet Tech once. He had top professional gear. He was a physician, and I think a cardiologist. He owned a 904 GTS for many years. Nice guy and great photographer.

[lendaddy]

Baz, these are ready to go and I just need your address. If you can get that PMd anytime soon I'll get them out today. Thanks much,

[Baz]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

Baz, these are ready to go and I just need your address. If you can get that PMd anytime soon I'll get them out today. Thanks much,

Thanks.....PM headed your way, sir.....

[lendaddy]

Perfect, they have been delivered to the post office and you should see them in three days. Thanks again all, take care.