Any of you gents had a baby later in life?

[URY914]

My wife's father was 50 when she was born. She can barely remember him going to work. He retired at 62.

[speeder]

One of my close friends is 65 and has two little ones, maybe 5 and 7 years old. He waited until really late in life to decide to have kids, or should I say that he and his long time GF, (now wife), waited a long time. She is obviously a lot younger but still easily in her upper 40s, if I had to guess.

The kids are as cute as they come, (wife is Japanese), and it helps that he is about as rich as you could ever want to be. They have a nanny who works full time, a lot of rich people don't really raise their kids full time and never have. I'm sure that he was raised by nannies, at least I can say for sure that his old man wasn't around home much w his career.

I never had kids and would not consider it now. The time to have them is when you are young. I think that the most natural time to be a parent of toddlers is when you are in your 20s, JMO. Then you are nice and young when they are in HS, still in your 40s or so when they go to college. That's how my parent's generation did it and every one before, until yuppies came along in the '80s and started waiting until their 30s or later to start a family. It always seems to me that the 45 y.o. people w little kids are straining a little...doesn't seem as natural. Just my observation.

[Nader]

I'm middle-aged, and I love my kids. But if my wife, who is younger than me, told me she was pregnant again, I'd blow my brains out.

[Crowbob]

I and the Chief Sandwicher are mid 60-somethings who care for two Boyz; 3.5 years and 14 mos. 3 10-hour days/week.

In the mornings we happily look forward to the day almost as much as in the evenings we look happily forward to the night.

They run to us in the mornings and they run to mom and dad in the evenings.

They are the happiest, funniest sing-songy guys you could ever meet.

We love them more each day-then they go home. Perfect!

[PRE-H20]

Crowbob................ music to my ears brother!

Your kids and your kids kids are lucky to have you and the Chief Sandwicher!

Thank you for sharing.

[jhynesrockmtn]

The stories of folks thriving and embracing kids or grandkids in middle to later age are awesome and heartwarming. I truly wish my two grandsons were closer so I could see them regularly. If we didn't have family locally we'd likely explore trying to live closer but my son is in the Army so chasing them around is not realistic anyway.

I think the big difference in those positive stories is that both husband and wife are on the same page with their situation. They both chose to be parents or caregivers to grand kids.

I just can't fathom choosing to get pregnant post 50. I work with families with kids who have disabilities and the incidence of such increases dramatically with age. It's not just the age of the egg/sperm. It's premature birth and other difficulties in pregnancy that are a bigger risk with an older woman carrying the child.

I hope the OP's situation works out and I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. Best of luck with whatever happens.

[gprsh924]

I’m about to turn 32. Had kids maybe a couple of years earlier than I planned, but can’t imagine starting over 10+ years from now. My daughters are almost 3 and almost 1. I’m all set.

[rattlsnak]

Annnnnnnd it's over... Well, soon will be. She is going ahead full bore with the process so I'm out.. We get along darn near perfect in every other way - which is why it's so hard for this to end..

I still can't believe it... FML.....



..on a side note, anybody have any single friends/sisters/daughters/moms that are available? lol.. (sorry but if I don't try to find some humor in this I will just sit around and cry all day...

[livi]

I am 54.
My 5 kids are between 23 and 4 years old.
I lead a very sedentary life. Not.

[911boost]

Sorry to hear, but props for staying firm.

[aigel]

I am glad you stayed firm. This is such an outrageous idea in my book, I would worry what's next. Better to get out now. There are many women with grown children out there that are looking for a quality guy to spend time with ...

Take care,

G

[PorscheGAL]

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

Annnnnnnd it's over... Well, soon will be. She is going ahead full bore with the process so I'm out.. We get along darn near perfect in every other way - which is why it's so hard for this to end..

I still can't believe it... FML.....



..on a side note, anybody have any single friends/sisters/daughters/moms that are available? lol.. (sorry but if I don't try to find some humor in this I will just sit around and cry all day...

I am so sorry to hear this. I was really hoping you guys would get on the same page. I wish you all the best.

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

Annnnnnnd it's over... Well, soon will be. She is going ahead full bore with the process so I'm out.. We get along darn near perfect in every other way - which is why it's so hard for this to end..

I still can't believe it... FML.....



..on a side note, anybody have any single friends/sisters/daughters/moms that are available? lol.. (sorry but if I don't try to find some humor in this I will just sit around and cry all day...

Good for you. You have to understand that she left you. It may not make this any easier but you certainly don’t have to deal with any burden of guilt.

Stay strong.

[rfuerst911sc]

Time will tell if you made the right decision , personally I think you made the right decision . Why ? Because you listened to your inner voice and you made that perfectly clear to her on how you felt . Apparently you made it clear many times .

Yeah it hurts now but time heals all wounds you will get over her . Whether you should start dating right away or wait a while is up to you. Good luck to you on what you decide . Now that the snow has melted go take a mountain drive to clear your head 😁

[billybek]

That sucks. I am glad that you are doing the right thing for you instead of living in a situation that doesn't work.

I had met my wife when I was in my early 40s and the baby thing was still on the table at that time for me. We have one son and it was unfortunate that we couldn't have another.
That wasn't huge thing for me but it certainly was for my wife and I had to understand and be very sympathetic of that fact for her.

Past the mid point in my 50s, I don't know that I could do the baby thing again.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

Annnnnnnd it's over... Well, soon will be. She is going ahead full bore with the process so I'm out.. We get along darn near perfect in every other way - which is why it's so hard for this to end..

I still can't believe it... FML.....



..on a side note, anybody have any single friends/sisters/daughters/moms that are available? lol.. (sorry but if I don't try to find some humor in this I will just sit around and cry all day...

Sorry to hear but it seems like she was hell bent on doing this and her decision has been very much a solo one. As someone else pointed out, she is leaving you for a different life. Stay strong and do what you need to do. Protect yourself and find some inspiration to move forward.

[svandamme]

Any doc that helps a 50+ woman get pregnant, own egg or donor egg.. in my opinion is in violation of the hypocratic oath.. "do no harm"

Because at 50+ any woman that gives birth will have higher risk of complications during pregnancy and birth.
Add to that the statistics for life complications and expectation in the next 18 years and well that should be enough to decide it's not something one should force with medications and procedures.

Fair enough to those who have a late pregnancy on their own.. or those who choose to father a whild with a younger woman... In which case the child at least will have 1 parent of reasonable age when it is born..

My 2 cts. And to be clear : My gripe is with the MD's that facilitate it..

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by livi

I am 54.
My 5 kids are between 23 and 4 years old.
I lead a very sedentary life. Not.

That's what you get for trading in yer womens each time for newer models

[Brando]

My condolences. It's going to be a rough road for a while. The important thing is you were honest with her and honest with yourself. It's gonna be worse before it's better. Good luck buddy.

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

Annnnnnnd it's over... Well, soon will be. She is going ahead full bore with the process so I'm out.. We get along darn near perfect in every other way - which is why it's so hard for this to end..

I still can't believe it... FML.....



..on a side note, anybody have any single friends/sisters/daughters/moms that are available? lol.. (sorry but if I don't try to find some humor in this I will just sit around and cry all day...

[Sooner or later]

Sorry to hear it didn't work out. Good luck!