A lady friend of mine always wants to do big hugs. Normally, yes, great, a nice breasty sort of hug. But she wears some sort of perfume or makeup that makes my nose violently itchy straight away.

So when I see her I do a "Great to see you, how are you?" and I shake hands. it works, you can't really hug someone who is shaking hands.

I'm sure this would suit the lady with the mechanic friend.

Yeah, but she has to give your dingleling a big grab with her hand and bit of tug to make it count. Tell her that's how it should be done;)

just send the guy this:

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1065495-have-we-discussed-garage-hand-cleaner.html