How to tell a neighbor and friend that he screwed up...

[flatbutt]

and you're really pizzed off!

My friend and neighbor built a new floating dock, a real piece of engineering. He went thru the expense of using pressure treated lumber but still thought it necessary to Thompson the wood.

Now I've got rainbow slicks all along my shoreline!! When I asked him "WTF" he said the wood isn't really all that well treated. I said "why didn't you wait till it was cured?" He says so what ,what's the problem? It's not much.

I said my g'kids swim there! He walked away.

I can't turn him in, that'd be a dick move. It should dissipate soon-ish but who knows. Now we're in the midst of a heat wave and the kids want to swim.

I might be able to dissipate the sheen with an organic surfactant or just plain soap.

What do you guys think?

[Rusty Heap]

First world problems,

[Flat Six]

Bring him down to the waterline and toss his azz in. Let him pull himself out and walk back home covered in the slime he left you with.

OTOH, some people just don't/won't ever get that their actions affect others.

[rusnak]

I would loop a chain around it and yank that ***** out of the water with a tractor.

[Superman]

Sorry, FB. I think you are a really nice guy. I do not like hearing of your troubles. Hopefully the problem will dissipate soon and your mind can have peace.

[MRM]

You already did. He disagreed with your concerns. You either swallow hard and don’t go farther or you bring it up more aggressively by showing him the marks on the waterline and blow a friendship.

My advice is to let it pass for now and in the near future when things have died down a bit and you find a calm moment, mention in an non-threatening way that discharging Thompson’s Water Sealer into the lake was a Richard move you and no one else on the lake appreciated and you hope he’ll have more consideration for his friends and neighbors in the future.

Often a gentle nudge has a more beneficial shaming effect than the most direct confrontation. People who are confronted directly always revert to denial and defensiveness. Avoid that with a gentle (non-accusatory) teaching moment.

[drcoastline]

First you say Dude WTF?

There is a product called De-oil- it. We use it on the boat in the event of a fuel spill or oil spill. It is an enzyme that breaks the hydrocarbons down turning the oil into inert particles.

[Zeke]

Are there any fish around? Catch one and cover it with Thompson's and give it to him saying I thought you might enjoy some fresh catch.

[KFC911]

^^^^ Spot on advice (should have quoted MRM)... as usual . 'Cause the dumbazz is gonna want to reapply the crap in a year or so. What a dipschit .

Then fire up the tractor if it happens again ...

[Sooner or later]

You voiced your displeasure. Move on.

[Baz]

Other than turning him in - which I agree with you - that isn't what I would do - there's not much you can do that will make much of a difference to your neighbor consequences-wise.

So maybe take some deep breaths and let a little time go by - to help yourself deal with it.

I (and probably many others here) go through the same crap all the time. BS that we have to deal with created by dumb azz humans that we are forced to co-habitat with.

If you really want to get this off your chest, perhaps write a letter to your neighbor and explain in detail why this was a huge mistake. How it will negatively impact the safety of other living creatures. How this is his responsibility. How it's everyone's responsibility.

Even if it doesn't make any impact, as least you have the event documented....and he's in possession of said documentation. Just in case.

BTW, I have an idiot redneck neighbor so welcome to the club!

[Nostril Cheese]

Clearly, a painful death is in order. Lower him in a vat of liquid nitrogen one inch at a time and use a hammer.

[MRM]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

Clearly, a painful death is in order. Lower him in a vat of liquid nitrogen one inch at a time and use a hammer.

Dude! That’s a horrible suggestion. Once he gets immersed in the liquid nitrogen he’s dead already. He’s not even awake to realize he’s being shattered with a hammer (which is hilarious, but sadly, not painful to the victim). Boiling oil. Now that’s where it’s at. You can dunk him in a nice caldron of boils oil and pull him out for hours before he finally expires. Amateurs.

I learned the art of gentle persuasion from our family’s cabin partners who had the patience to gently explain why more than a few of MRM’s peccadilloes were not cool and that the general public would appreciate more consideration. I hope my response vindicated their restraint. We remain good friends, so hopefully that means I haven’t abused their good will too much.

[Nostril Cheese]

Originally Posted by MRM

Dude! That’s a horrible suggestion.

Think you misunderstood, you lower him one inch, then pull him up and smash that inch off. rinse and repeat.


Boiling oil also works.

[Joe Bob]

Screw him, call the water quality guys.

[Por_sha911]

Unfortunately FB, you are stuck with a jerk for a neighbor. You can't out-stink a skunk so any further discussion with him will just escalate the situation.

The sad part is that all he had to do is say "aw, shoot, I didn't think about that, sorry" and it would have been an 'oh well" moment. Now you have to decide if this will affect your friendship. You seem to be "too" nice a guy. I would be tempted to severe any communication with someone who doesn't care about his neighbor enough to say "sorry".

[MRM]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

Think you misunderstood, you lower him one inch, then pull him up and smash that inch off. rinse and repeat.


Boiling oil also works.

I stand corrected. I spoke beyond my scope of knowledge. Boiling oil is much simpler, but liquid nitrogen has a certain flair.

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

Unfortunately FB, you are stuck with a jerk for a neighbor. You can't out-stink a skunk so any further discussion with him will just escalate the situation.

The sad part is that all he had to do is say "aw, shoot, I didn't think about that, sorry" and it would have been an 'oh well" moment. Now you have to decide if this will affect your friendship. You seem to be "too" nice a guy. I would be tempted to severe any communication with someone who doesn't care about his neighbor enough to say "sorry".

That’s exactly what my across-the-street neighbor said when I suggested to him that centering smack-dab his mailbox at the bottom of my fairly steep driveway might not have been the best idea he’s ever had. Maybe he thought his winters are more mild than mine. Who knows?

Anywho, I advised him that it’s gonna get knocked down, guaranteed.

Which it did, of course.

So what do he do? He replaced it with a brand new one in exactly the same spot.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by Superman

Sorry, FB. I think you are a really nice guy. I do not like hearing of your troubles. Hopefully the problem will dissipate soon and your mind can have peace.

Thank you, I really care about the water and the people swimming in it.

Originally Posted by MRM

You already did. He disagreed with your concerns. You either swallow hard and don’t go farther or you bring it up more aggressively by showing him the marks on the waterline and blow a friendship.

My advice is to let it pass for now and in the near future when things have died down a bit and you find a calm moment, mention in an non-threatening way that discharging Thompson’s Water Sealer into the lake was a Richard move you and no one else on the lake appreciated and you hope he’ll have more consideration for his friends and neighbors in the future.

Often a gentle nudge has a more beneficial shaming effect than the most direct confrontation. People who are confronted directly always revert to denial and defensiveness. Avoid that with a gentle (non-accusatory) teaching moment.

Indeed, I figured that's what I need to do.

Originally Posted by drcoastline

First you say Dude WTF?

There is a product called De-oil- it. We use it on the boat in the event of a fuel spill or oil spill. It is an enzyme that breaks the hydrocarbons down turning the oil into inert particles.

Nice! thanks!!

Originally Posted by Baz

Other than turning him in - which I agree with you - that isn't what I would do - there's not much you can do that will make much of a difference to your neighbor consequences-wise.

So maybe take some deep breaths and let a little time go by - to help yourself deal with it.

I (and probably many others here) go through the same crap all the time. BS that we have to deal with created by dumb azz humans that we are forced to co-habitat with.

If you really want to get this off your chest, perhaps write a letter to your neighbor and explain in detail why this was a huge mistake. How it will negatively impact the safety of other living creatures. How this is his responsibility. How it's everyone's responsibility.

Even if it doesn't make any impact, as least you have the event documented....and he's in possession of said documentation. Just in case.

BTW, I have an idiot redneck neighbor so welcome to the club!

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

Unfortunately FB, you are stuck with a jerk for a neighbor. You can't out-stink a skunk so any further discussion with him will just escalate the situation.

The sad part is that all he had to do is say "aw, shoot, I didn't think about that, sorry" and it would have been an 'oh well" moment. Now you have to decide if this will affect your friendship. You seem to be "too" nice a guy. I would be tempted to severe any communication with someone who doesn't care about his neighbor enough to say "sorry".

Spot on that would have sufficed.

Thanks all, I'm stabling my high horse now.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

That’s exactly what my across-the-street neighbor said when I suggested to him that centering smack-dab his mailbox at the bottom of my fairly steep driveway might not have been the best idea he’s ever had. Maybe he thought his winters are more mild than mine. Who knows?

Anywho, I advised him that it’s gonna get knocked down, guaranteed.

Which it did, of course.

So what do he do? He replaced it with a brand new one in exactly the same spot.

You have a neighborhood of blithering idiots. I suggest you move.