How Mennonites cut the grass…

[unclebilly]

My wife is half Mennonite. We have a zero turn mower and it works fine but for that ultra fine putting green lawn, she drags out the special equipment…

[oldE]

I thought for the extra fine cut she would use sheep. Tell her she needs to up her game! (And let me know how you make out with that,.)

Best
Les

[GH85Carrera]

They will cut the grass and fertilize as a bonus!

[72doug2,2S]

Did you know Adam in the garden was a Mennonite?

Only a Mennonite could be with an attractive nude woman in a garden and be tempted by a piece of fruit.

[Tishabet]

My grandfather on my dad's side was born into a Mennonite family, but left the faith when he joined the US Army Air Corp (now the Air Force). Totally fluent in Pennsylvania Dutch and a big time tinkerer, spent his entire career working on aircraft and left me a bunch of cool pneumatic tools when he died 11 days short of his 100th birthday.

As far as cutting the grass, his technique for this ~2500 s.f. lawn was to do the entire thing with a weed whacker... but that's probably just because he didn't own cows ;-)

[72doug2,2S]

You know why Mennonites don't have sex standing up?


.......because, it might lead to dancing.

[72doug2,2S]

Did you hear about the Amish girl who got excommunicated? They heard she was two men a night.

[rusnak]

Originally Posted by oldE

I thought for the extra fine cut she would use sheep. Tell her she needs to up her game! (And let me know how you make out with that,.)

Best
Les

They make out with sheep?

[wdfifteen]

Our cows were never that precise, and it wasn't that even unless they were practically starving. They went for the good stuff first. There was always a tuft of grass around every cow patty.
Maybe Canadaland cows are different.

[Joe Bob]

Sheep are liars.....

[Skip Newsom]

Also known as the most dangerous of animals- The clever sheep

EG:
Tourist: Oh, jolly good. I say, those ARE sheep aren't they?

Shepherd: Yeh.

Tourist: Yes yes, I though so. Only, why are they up in the trees?

Shepherd: A fair question and one that in recent weeks 'as been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nestin'.

Tourist: Nesting?

Shepherd: Aye.

Tourist: Like birds?

Shepherd: Exactly. Birds is the key to the whole problem. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their behavior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet. (Baaa baaa... flap flap... thud.) Observe for example that ewe in that oak tree. She is clearly trying to teach her lamb to fly. (baaaaa... thud) Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they're birds?

Shepherd: Another fair question. One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. (Baaa baaa... flap flap... thud.) As you see. As for flight its body is totally unadapted to the problems of aviation. Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it.

Tourist: But where did they get the idea from?

Shepherd: From Harold. He's that sheep over there under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He's the ring leader. He has realized that a sheep's life consists of standin' around for a few months and then bein' eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape.