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my wife wants to do a separate thanksgiving dinner.
ouch!!
i dont know how it happened. my wife and i pinkie-promised each other this holiday was going to go down quiet. i was going to spatchcock a cornish game hen. my brother was going to go to his GF's big sisters house in a CA city that is dangerously close to my house. oh, o! spidey senses. have fun bro! then he invites MOM. oh EFF! here is what is happening now. my family flies into Sacramento. WTF#1. they will drive my mom to me and she will stay with me for a few days, then my MOM hoping to maximize her visit will require me to go and and take her to SF. WTF#2. then bro will pick her up a few days later and we all go and meet up near Sacto to eat together. FAACK! there are lots of moving parts to move my mom around. she is a feeble old lady now, and i think its BS. my mom was a powerhouse younger and she just gave up. pisses me off. i had a complicated youth, where i was fed a constant rich diet of Guilt-trips. i made a conscious effort to never ever be affected by them ever again. my cornish hen will stay frozen. family called and asked, "What are we doing for Christmas?" nothing. i lied. i said i was flying to Vancouver. hahah..it's gonna suck if i will actually have to fly to vancouver to create a backstory for my lie.. i'm bringing the frozen game hen. true story. my sister planned a house move during Tday so she had an excuse to not come. hahah..shrewd.
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Edministrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
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Bone up on the 4 words thread.
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You have been on fire!
There will be a full house here, including one of my sisters and her hubby and son. MIL, aunts, boyfriends girlfriends and a few other stragglers. Your sister doesn't need any help, does she: Strong back weak mind for hire!
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1996 FJ80. |
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Get off my lawn!
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Be happy you get another Thanksgiving with your mom. I would love to have one more Thanksgiving with either of my parents.
Someday she will be gone, and you will wish you could hug her one more time.
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Glen 49 Year member of the Porsche Club of America 1985 911 Carrera; 2017 Macan 1986 El Camino with Fuel Injected 350 Crate Engine My Motto: I will never be too old to have a happy childhood! |
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My wife want to have a separate one as well since we usually go up to my dad's side on Thanksgiving. Not sure how many years left we will be doing that as the crowd is down to 50-60 people now.
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Brent The X15 was the only aircraft I flew where I was glad the engine quit. - Milt Thompson. "Don't get so caught up in your right to dissent that you forget your obligation to contribute." Mrs. James to her son Chappie. |
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I know how negative input from parents stays with you. Hang in there. Maybe Vancouver would be a fun alternative.
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Marv Evans '69 911E |
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However, I totally get Vash's point. This past Easter my brother-in-law somehow invited his in-laws to my house for dinner. He's fairly recently married and his wife is a strange bird. Ditto her parents. During dinner it comes out that the 4 of them had had their Easter dinner the day before together. Didn't stop them all from trying to get leftovers to take home. And of course they came empty handed. I'm hoping we don't have a repeat of this BS on Thanksgiving or Christmas. We've returned home after 20 years of living where the Army told me. So my wife likes to or feels compelled to host the holiday dinners. I'm thinking we need to move away again...
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Matthew - drove Nurburgring with wipers on and no rain 1969 911E SOLD ![]() 2002 996 Cabrio 1995 993 Carrera 4 SOLD 2004 Land Rover Discovery II G4 Edition (Sold ![]() |
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This may very well be the last Thanksgiving with my Inlaws, My FIL is coming home tomorrow from a nursing home after being in the covid ward in the hospital for 3 weeks...he is a weak voiced, shell of the man he once was, and at 137#, needs to gain strength to survive until Tday.
My MIL may be killed by my wife for dragging her feet preparing for her husband to return. She has already said "He's 84 years old, just let him die" ! If we do have a family meal, it will have to be prepared first, and then brought to their house...we can't do leftovers this year as we are heading for the Detroit airport. Black Friday we finally leave on our well deserved, Sandals all inclusive resort, vacation on the South coast of Jamaica that we had to cancel last year. Last edited by ckelly78z; 11-04-2021 at 08:49 AM.. |
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i grew up in a typical chinese household. i think my mom hugged me for the first time, maybe 8 years ago. at least that is what i told my therapist.
not everyone should have children. the stories i could tell. i am cursed with a very good memory. i bought a case of good wine, and two bottles of local hooch...lets do this!!
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Matthew - drove Nurburgring with wipers on and no rain 1969 911E SOLD ![]() 2002 996 Cabrio 1995 993 Carrera 4 SOLD 2004 Land Rover Discovery II G4 Edition (Sold ![]() |
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Brent The X15 was the only aircraft I flew where I was glad the engine quit. - Milt Thompson. "Don't get so caught up in your right to dissent that you forget your obligation to contribute." Mrs. James to her son Chappie. |
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As one of the above says. Basically suck it up. She is your mother. Treat her with respect as she did raise you pretty well. You don't seem scarred and you seem pretty happy. I still miss my mother from her passing in 2012.
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Yet a still wolf lives. I put up with the MIL, suck it up, because it is, I guess, the right thing to do: not in my world, my wife's. Not everyone misses their parents, folks.
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^^^Exactly! My parents were great! But, as they got older things went south. My father liked his Ouzo to start off the festivities, then a couple of beers, and finally some red wine with the meal. My mother would just sit there and snarl at him, and us for giving him liquor. We tried to sneak in some NA beer, but he always caught on, "why is my bottle different from yours?". Dad passed away first and then mom became unbearable. Never liked anything we made. While we were all still eating she would demand we make her some coffee and toast, or a sandwich. No smile on her face ever. A real downer, no matter if it was Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or just some birthday party. She passed away Dec. 2019. Hard to say it, but we really don't miss her later life persona. Anyway.....make the best of it Vash!
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Are you sure you're not a Kiwi? It sounds like a typical way to grow up around this place. Oh, and good luck. |
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Just do what Larry David did on Curb. Wear a MAGA hat around. Nobody will want to be around you.
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My wife manages a retail store, so we can never go anywhere for Thanksgiving. Therefore, we always host. Every year, it gets bigger, with other "extended" family getting invited. Fortunately(?), I don't talk to my family, so that cuts down the list by quite a few
![]() Just so glad I love my wife's family. Great people, all of them.
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VASH,
Last I checked, you were management. Figure it out. You got this. |
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Information Overloader
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NW Lower Michigan
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I don’t see the problem with separate Thanksgiving Dinner.
Separate yourself. |
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