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Registered
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: bottom left corner of the world
Posts: 22,714
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Axis of Evil.
Axis of Evil Wannabees
by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil .. . we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in ''Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. IMPORTANT: This e-mail is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above & may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mail, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and/or your pets. If you have received this e-mail in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. |
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Information Junky
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: an island, upper left coast, USA
Posts: 73,189
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![]() Don't forget the Axis of Weasles established early on. ![]() |
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Writer/Teacher
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"Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. "
Still hilarious after all these years...
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Current Stable: Black 07 Porsche 987 Cayman S: Long-Tube Headers; FabSpeed Exhaust; VividRacing ECU Tune; IPD Plenum; 997GT3 Throttle Body. Blue 1983 Porsche 928S. 1985.5 Porsche 944 Rat Rod. 2011 Acura MDX. 2008 Mazda 3. Gone But Not Forgotten:Garnet Red 86 Porsche 951("The Purple Pig"). Alpine White 83 Porsche 944 ("Alpine Wolf"). Guards Red 84 Porsche 944. |
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B58/732
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Hot as Hell, AZ
Posts: 12,313
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Are you sure those are weasels? They look like ferrets.
![]() What about the Axis of Dweezil? ![]() (Pssst....dude, nice hair!)
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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ I don't always talk to vegetarians--but when I do, it's with a mouthful of bacon. |
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Semper drive!
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Don't forget the "X's of Vin Diesel"!!!
Oh wait....that was a movie... ![]() ![]() Randy
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84 944 - Alpine White 86 Carrera Targa - Guards Red - My Pelican Gallery - (Gone, but never forgotten ![]() One Marine's View Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum |
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