Mortality

[matthewb0051]

My father died 5 years ago. Feels like last week though.

Two weeks ago his older brother died peacefully in his sleep, aged 85. My aunt got up and thought he was still sleeping so tried to be quiet. Then later realized the worst. It really tore him up when my father died as they were very close.

There is now one brother remaining and I've come to realize that my father's side of my family is just about all gone. I have a couple of cousins from the eldest uncle but haven't had contact in years. The youngest brother had no children.

Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about mortality and other stuff. Sort of strange to think of myself in the same fashion as I always thought of my father and uncles with regard to age and stature as a man. They were always the adults and older, now it is me. At times I still think of myself as 20 something or at max 30 something.

It ain't the years, it is the mileage.

[GH85Carrera]

My dad was an only child, and his side of the family is all gone, dad died several years ago. Mom had a brother and sister, but they died long before mom did.

I do have a brother and a nephew left. And my mom's siblings both had kids, so I have some cousins I have not seen ion 20+ years as they live far away.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by matthewb0051

My father died 5 years ago. Feels like last week though.

Two weeks ago his older brother died peacefully in his sleep, aged 85. My aunt got up and thought he was still sleeping so tried to be quiet. Then later realized the worst. It really tore him up when my father died as they were very close.

There is now one brother remaining and I've come to realize that my father's side of my family is just about all gone. I have a couple of cousins from the eldest uncle but haven't had contact in years. The youngest brother had no children.

Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about mortality and other stuff. Sort of strange to think of myself in the same fashion as I always thought of my father and uncles with regard to age and stature as a man. They were always the adults and older, now it is me. At times I still think of myself as 20 something or at max 30 something.

It ain't the years, it is the mileage.

Exactly. I feel like a kid, but I'm >50.

My dad was an only child, but had a couple of half-siblings that he wasn't in contact with after his family left OH for FL. So from my point of view, when my grandfather and then father passed away, that was the end of my dad's side of the family. (grandmother and great grandmother also passed years ago). I'm an only child. I've got kids that are from my wife's previous marriage. So what's weird for me is the idea of my family ceasing to exist entirely.

[oldE]

We are going through something similar with my MIL in her 90s with almost non existant mobility. I was the youngest of 10. Four of my brothers have passed. The eldest survivors turned 90 last month. I am very aware that a phone call might bear news one more has left us.
I also find myself thinking that will be my spouse and I in about two decades.
None of us get out alive. May as well come to terms with that and enjoy it while you can.

Best
Les

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by matthewb0051

There is now one brother remaining and I've come to realize that my father's side of my family is just about all gone. I have a couple of cousins from the eldest uncle but haven't had contact in years. The youngest brother had no children.

On my Father's side, the Scottish (FOB, then one first gen son, orphaned, then a Scottish wife, two boys - one my Dad and his brother who died childless), are down to a mix of genes that I don't think they saw coming....five of us.

My Mom's side (add the five of us in as well) is about as prolific as can be. We could hold family reunions in a HS football stadium.

My favorite cousin, retired architect, and I talk once a month. He helped me greatly during my run up and acceptance into University. The family is gold.

Originally Posted by matthewb0051

Sort of strange to think of myself in the same fashion as I always thought of my father and uncles with regard to age and stature as a man. They were always the adults and older, now it is me. At times I still think of myself as 20 something or at max 30 something.

We all do. The key is a sense of humor...it never ages if you pay attention. I'll be 66 in November; trust me, it is the years AND the mileage

Best.

[3rd_gear_Ted]

The play list for my wake is still a work in progress.
It definitely feels like past midnight in my soul.

First rule of the street, Bad thing happen after midnight

[herr_oberst]

According to the actuarial tables, I should be good for around 85 laps.
22 more blue marbles to go!

[Bill Douglas]

That reminds me, I better update my will. My dad died in his 50's and my mom in her 60's. So I guess I'm on borrowed time. Plus the big drug fuelled Maori guy down the road has telling me that his cousins are in the gangs and something is going to happen to me

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

That reminds me, I better update my will. My dad died in his 50's and my mom in her 60's. So I guess I'm on borrowed time. Plus the big drug fuelled Maori guy down the road has telling me that his cousins are in the gangs and something is going to happen to me

Yikes.

My son works for a law firm in Norfolk. He is very close to the owner and his entire family. They are Greek: Greek, Greek in the best way possible.

The owners wife, who ran the law firms admin and financial books, died at her desk 10 days ago. She was 59.

My Mother died at 60.

We don't know how many laps around the sun we are going to get, but we know how to prepare our affairs so the transition from sneakers up to sneakers down goes well for the family.

Do it.

BTW, I had a proposal due on a government contract so my wife, daughter and, of course, my son attended all the services and family events. I did not. All three said, without reservation, that the whole two days were spectacular in terms of family, faith and understanding.

Best.

[Bill Douglas]

Thanks. Yes I will hurry up and do it. I do have a will but things will be changed considerably when I edit it.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Thanks. Yes I will hurry up and do it. I do have a will but things will be changed considerably when I edit it.

Get it done .... and make sure you spell my name correctly !

[matthewb0051]

As for Bill's will update:

My father died in 2017. His will was from 1985/6, not that such invalidates a will. However, in 85 he was on wife #2; a few years later there was wife #3. Then came a long term girlfriend.

Point being, he had a lot of changes in circumstance that were never reflected in his will. Luckily Tennessee law prohibits a former spouse from taking under a will after divorce; ditto for kids of former spouse. But it was a PITA for a little while in probate.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by KC911

Get it done .... and make sure you spell my name correctly !

Thanks. I appreciate your caring support at this difficult time LOL

I better get it done soon or it could set a new legal definition known as Bill will, and get discussed at law school and the courts.

[Rot 911]

My dad died of a heart attack when he was 62. My mom died of Alzheimer’s when she was 86. I just turned 67 last week. While I do think about dying, mostly it’s hoping that whatever it takes me, takes me quickly. Last thing I want is to be lingering about in a nursing home.

[Evans, Marv]

My family is spread around the country and been disassociated for decades. My father died in 1992 at 72, & my mother at 89 twelve years ago. My parents' mode of operation with the kids was feed, clothe them, & let them get along on their own with everything else. I'll turn 80 in a few weeks. I feel not 80, but not certain what it is exactly I feel. I'm just tryiing to enjoy life and keep on keeping on. My wife & I spent two days at a mountain cabin for her birthday yesterday & Sunday, she did some shopping at a little local mountain town, we went to some wineries & bought some cider & balsamic vinegars, & went on a seven mile hike yesterday. I hope I have everything (pretty much) in order, since she's younger than I. Getting old sucks for me, & I don't know what I think about mortality.

[Captain Ahab Jr]

I ain't afraid to die anymore, I've done it already!

After dying in my sleep nearly 5yrs ago when I wake up even now from a really deep sleep my 1st thought is 'am I still alive?'

It's never in a worrying way though more like just a quick check I've not checked out (again)

[rockfan4]

My father, and both of my grandfathers all died at the same age. I will reach that age soon. On the other hand, one of my father's brothers lived into his 90s, and my mother's brothers were all in their 80s when they passed.
The odd thing, I was thinking about my mother's brother last night, wondering how he was doing. His sister called me this morning, he passed away last night.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by Captain Ahab Jr

After dying in my sleep nearly 5yrs ago when I wake up even now from a really deep sleep my 1st thought is 'am I still alive?'

It's never in a worrying way though more like just a quick check I've not checked out (again)

I sort of know what you mean. I got ill once, collapsed, and my breathing slowed to about a quarter of a breath every 60 seconds. I thought I'm dying here. I actually had a bit of a snigger thinking haha, my sisters are going to have a hell of a job sorting out my business matters and disposing of my hoarded "valuables".

[pwd72s]

Guy, all those old folks who have passed on that we miss? Well, we are the old folks now.

[Rick Lee]

Come do a ride along with me one day. I sell final expense life insurance.

First appt. today, the guy no-showed. His wife said he had to walk to his car insurance company to settle the claim for his car theft. Thieves broke into their hovel, held them at gunpoint and took the keys and drove off. He had GAP insurance and it paid. She showed me the scars from the ligatures.

Second appt. was for the guy in hospice, 57 yrs old, diabetic, kidney failure, congestive heart failure.

Third appt. with a 72 y/o woman I had met two yrs ago and couldn't close. She has SEVEN life insurance policies and wanted to see if I could consolidate them for her. Yup, I could make it two policies for the same coverage, save her $109/mo and get her $4100 cash back. Could. Not. Close. Her. Since I first met her, she'd gone on insulin, has a cyst on a kidney and has early onset of dementia.

Last appt. was in a senior living ghetto complex in downtown Phoenix. You would not believe the horror stories I saw walking through there. People waiting to die and trying their best to make happen asap.