Taking my son to first year of college tomorrow...struggling
 

Man this is hard. I don’t know how you guys with older kids send them off.

It should be difficult but it is also the greatest reward for all the hard work you have put in. To see your children be able to start to make it on their own is one of the greatest joys you can get from parenting.

One of the greatest days of my life was when my parents dropped me off at COLLEGE! I had no idea what to expect. Neither did my parents. Had they even the slightest inkling they would not have allowed it.

I hope this helps.

My oldest daughter fought my wife and me all through high school. It was a relief to drop her off at college. Going from 3 kids to 2 wasn't bad. Incidentally, she's a total joy to have around now at age 27.

Dropping my son off was harder, and when we gave him the "final hug" before leaving down in Blacksburg, he had a tear on his face, which almost made my wife start bawling, but she held it together. The 4 hour drive home was hard, and it felt really quiet at home now with only 1 kid there.

Dropping my youngest off a couple years later, also in Blacksburg, was weird. It was the "now we are alone" moment. Kind of joy, kind of sad. House felt REALLY empty.

But that goes away in a few days, and you and your wife will move on to other priorities. You've probably focused on him SO much over the last 18 years your life feels empty without him. You'll get over it in a few days and it will all be good. In the end it's totally rewarding.

Thanks all. Blacksburg bound tomorrow afternoon. I do think it’s the right place for him but am already counting the days to thanksgiving break.

Wow. Brings back memories. I raised my two boys on my own from 1.5 and 3.5 years old. When I dropped off my oldest I was overcome after the goodbye hug. I didn’t see my emotions getting out of hand, but they did.

Taking my son to first year of college tomorrow...struggling
 

I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold it together. Call me a ***** but man this kid just means so much to me. We’ve been through so much.

I miss both my kids terribly, both my daughter and son mean the absolute world to me.

They are gone from home but they haven't really left. You'll see.

Taking my son to first year of college tomorrow...struggling
 

My buddies daughter went to Coasties. She was gone in June last year iirc. And only a week or two home in summer! Guess I can’t complain. They are taking her back tomorrow and my buddy said ‘she can’t wait to get back and for that I’m so happy’. I guess that’s what I’ll want too.

Oldest daughter went to architect school at UT Knoxville. We lived in northern VA at the time. Tech was just about half way to Knoxville…always wished she could have been that close. First Thanksgiving break, my wife insisted we go get her and bring her home for the weekend. Daughter was being a pill on the way home and the wife was ready to put her out on the side of I81. We all survived. It’s an exciting time in your kid’s life…enjoy. (Now I’m so old, I have a grandson in his third year at Vanderbilt). Yikes!

I was like ‘go far away and experience the world!’ VT is 6.5 hrs away and I felt like that was plenty close. Now that the time is here I wish he was much closer.

What helped us with our son was buying football tickets to a couple of the home games and going to see him. I know it's a long drive, but it's REALLY beautiful down there in the fall, the game day environment in Blacksburg is great, and I'd be willing to bet money you'll be very happy to see how well he's adjusted, how many friends he's made, how excited he is, etc. etc. Gives you something to look forward to in a couple of months.

Do you have any other kids? I thought maybe you did but can't recall.

Daughter going into 8th grade. That helps.

Son got season tickets for football and is a big sports nut so that will be fun. Definitely want to hit some games and tailgate with him.

There really is no right answer. What I do know is no one can fake happiness, the reasons why they are happy or, conversely, sad.

What I always looked for was their (my children's) sense of "this is the right thing"...I know that is specious but I was acutely aware that my limitations were not theirs. As parents, the transition from a friendly judge to advise and consent is hard. It was for me.

The fact that you posted this thread is the the portent of your children's success.

Blacksburg is, as you know, a terrific place...the school as well.:cool:

Hell I had a hard time when my daughter went to college 45 min away.....she lives on campus and acts like coming home is a complete PITY.

I'm glad she's having g a great time though.

Have faith in how you raised him. Trust his judgement but keep the communication lines open at all times. If he fks up help him put it all back together over breakfast and just listen to him and answer his questions. Worked for me.

My wife and I did this backwards. We sent both of our boys away to a parochial boarding school in Eau Claire, WI for high school. Three years apart, both were 13 years old when we sent them. Both went to college locally.

We have been empty nesters for 12 years now, and I still cannot get used to it. Fortunately, both live and work locally. I'll be at the older son's place tomorrow, helping with a valve adjust and other stuff on his '79 SC, as we've been doing together for over 16 years.

Yeah. Doing things backwards is the better way, sometimes.

I shoulda skipped the kids and gone straight to grandkids.

I had the same issue with my oldest Son, I was static, thrilled super happy he was finally getting out of the house, few weeks after it really hit me. All the unknowns, I had no clue about college, books, classes,tuition it was a nightmare. I then found a Facebook group for the college. I was the only Dad it was full of Ninja Moms, they knew everything and then some, that helped me a lot and with time things became much easier, I still belive that been engaged helped me a lot to deal with it, 4 years went flying, out of collage he got hired at Microsoft and the rest is history, many restless nights for me and now looking back all for nothing and unnecessary. We are now on the last year for my youngest one and it has been a breeze. Hang in there, listen to the Dad gut feeling, he will be fine, Dad.👍

I won't lie, it was tough with both of them.

But the house is cleaner and the quieter part is not bad, it's just different.

I sleep commando so being able to get up in the morning and wander around the house bare ass naked feeding the cats and **** is a bit liberating.

It’s OK to be emotional when you drop them off. You’ve done everything you could do to bring them up right.

I definitely cried when we dropped our daughter off at school. When I got home, she had left me a letter and I cried again. She went to US C, so she was only two hours away.

When we dropped our son off two years later, it was hard and I remember turning around after we said goodbye, he was walking straight ahead. He was ready to be on his own. He was 12 hours and 800 miles away, so we only saw him a couple times during the school year.

I got divorced in 2011 when my daughter was 8 and son 5. I moved into a house in the same neighborhood and my ex and I are still close, our job was to do the best we could raising two kids.

Fast forward to August of 2021 and we all piled in my LC and drove together to Lawrence to drop our daughter off at KU. It was very emotional for everyone, except her brother of course, he is too tough for that. It is about an 8 hour drive from where we are in CO, so not super far away. There were tears and that is ok.

This year she drove herself back to college, it brought back memories of me leaving VA and heading to IA in my '66 Mustang. Oh how times have changed, I would call my folks 2 days later from IA, whereas now we heard from her often on the drive out.

I hear from and talk to my daughter very often even though she is away, and went our for dads weekend and plan on it again this year.

On a separate note, I almost went to VA Tech as well, congrats to your son!

My high school graduation gift was a suitcase. What does that tell you?

My older brother got the same thing. He's in his 60's now and while he jokes about it I think it still pisses him off a bit.

One of my roommates said his father gave him and his siblings on there 18th birthdays $1,000 cash and were expected to move out that same day. This was not a surprise to any of them and that was it. No money for college, no nothing except the use of dads trailer, if needed.

Done. Poof. Gone.

I thought it was kinda harsh. My roomate didn’t, though. He was actually a pretty motivated guy. He became an electrical engineer and moved out to near Mt St. Helens just in time for the eruption.

I ended up trading it for a government issue OD green duffel bag...

So did he! :D

Best of luck today, Beretta!

One of my very good friends from my Navy days was a retired Master Chief that was a GS Logistician on a program I managed.

Same story except no cash:eek:

He was from rural Virginia and had already enlisted in the Navy.

My family is very close.
But I had no issues when the kids left for college. And they all went very far away from home.
My wife was always a mess about it though.
I was the one with primary responsibility for getting them into colleges. Those efforts started of course since they were born, but really kicked into intense gear by middle school. Finding and honing skills in recruitable sports, SAT prep years in advance, etc.
The first day of colleges were such victories and a sense of accomplishment that for me (and the kids) it drowned out pretty much any sadness about leaving home. We were so focused on continuing the mission and looking forward.
I get that’s probably not normal though. (They also knew that while they were in college, everything would be paid for for them, but that upon graduation they are adults who would never be living at home with mommy and daddy again, and that’s apparently not so normal these days either).
So be happy! Look forward to their move towards adulthood. To paraphrase the great REO Speedwagon, it’s time for them to fly!

Not long ago my daughter rendered her heartfelt appreciation for her having been taught early and often to solve her own problems. As she was crossing the Rubicon into marriage, parenthood and the crazy world of adulthood, she realized how dependent and helpless many people are. She was surprised at how poorly some people manage crises and get overwhelmed.

That was good to hear.

Its actually harder to send them to Europe for the summer.

Been through it 4 times now; the 1st was hardest but mainly b/c he went to a Service Academy and that meant he was leaving the household for good. It was in fact a very abrupt conclusion to my immediate tutelage and I had a lot of “Cat and the Cradle, little boy blue” realities that I had to face. Still do.

The other kids were tough too but they’re back frequently enough that I can and do lean in on their further development. I hope you get to see them thriving in their new setting during your first parent’s weekend visit, and witness them looking forward to return to it after each break. That will make it a lot easier on you. But the drop off usually is pretty grim, and you’ll probably have to support the wife while you deal with it quietly on your own.

My father brought me to my dorm for the first year of college in 1972. The new drinking age was 18, so almost anyone in college was qualified and legal.
After walking up four flights of stairs and passing open beer kegs on each floor...my father just shook his head and said "Good Luck" :)

Yup. 1250 miles from my old bed to my new one. 17yo, I guess I won the birthday lottery.

Take care with whoever you associate - I'm not kidding, 30y later and we're still bumping around with those people. It's all good, and we get a huge laugh of it...

Good stuff guys, while there are some differences on these experiences, I dig the honesty...

I'm facing this next year. Not looking forward to it.

Just got home from drop off. 7hrs each way...ugh. Thought about the above quote today a few times. Wife and I both thought he was perfect for an Academy but that isn't what he wanted. Thankful we're not facing the above reality today.

cstreit it is an exhausting mix of emotions. that's the best description i can come up with after today.

A timely thread, I will move my daughter into college on Saturday. I haven't been too emotional about it, in contrast to mrs bivenator. Reading these posts though has awakened the anxieties a bit. Got kinda dusty in here just thinking of the coming day.

Hell, the wife and I are leaving the house to the youngest. He's ready for us to go and so are we!

Going to be so awesome to be getting rent!!

Both of ours are in college. It was hard at first but then it gets to be ok. Just wait until all of yours are at home for a summer. That will freak you out more than taking them to college. When you still want to have control over them and know they are young adults and you need to let them do what they want (within reason).

Enjoy that crappy drive to Blacksburg. Also, get used to the 300% price hike in the local hotels, even as far out as I-81 when Va Tech has some event, including move in weekend. I will recommend the Fairfield Inn and Sweets at Christiansburg exit on 81, nice to have a Cracker Barrel next door.