Taking my son to first year of college tomorrow...struggling

[berettafan]

Man this is hard. I don’t know how you guys with older kids send them off.

[Cdnone1]

It should be difficult but it is also the greatest reward for all the hard work you have put in. To see your children be able to start to make it on their own is one of the greatest joys you can get from parenting.

[Crowbob]

One of the greatest days of my life was when my parents dropped me off at COLLEGE! I had no idea what to expect. Neither did my parents. Had they even the slightest inkling they would not have allowed it.

I hope this helps.

[beatnavy]

My oldest daughter fought my wife and me all through high school. It was a relief to drop her off at college. Going from 3 kids to 2 wasn't bad. Incidentally, she's a total joy to have around now at age 27.

Dropping my son off was harder, and when we gave him the "final hug" before leaving down in Blacksburg, he had a tear on his face, which almost made my wife start bawling, but she held it together. The 4 hour drive home was hard, and it felt really quiet at home now with only 1 kid there.

Dropping my youngest off a couple years later, also in Blacksburg, was weird. It was the "now we are alone" moment. Kind of joy, kind of sad. House felt REALLY empty.

But that goes away in a few days, and you and your wife will move on to other priorities. You've probably focused on him SO much over the last 18 years your life feels empty without him. You'll get over it in a few days and it will all be good. In the end it's totally rewarding.

[berettafan]

Thanks all. Blacksburg bound tomorrow afternoon. I do think it’s the right place for him but am already counting the days to thanksgiving break.

[911 Rod]

Wow. Brings back memories. I raised my two boys on my own from 1.5 and 3.5 years old. When I dropped off my oldest I was overcome after the goodbye hug. I didn’t see my emotions getting out of hand, but they did.

[berettafan]

I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold it together. Call me a ***** but man this kid just means so much to me. We’ve been through so much.

[Seahawk]

I miss both my kids terribly, both my daughter and son mean the absolute world to me.

They are gone from home but they haven't really left. You'll see.

[berettafan]

My buddies daughter went to Coasties. She was gone in June last year iirc. And only a week or two home in summer! Guess I can’t complain. They are taking her back tomorrow and my buddy said ‘she can’t wait to get back and for that I’m so happy’. I guess that’s what I’ll want too.

[porsche tech]

Oldest daughter went to architect school at UT Knoxville. We lived in northern VA at the time. Tech was just about half way to Knoxville…always wished she could have been that close. First Thanksgiving break, my wife insisted we go get her and bring her home for the weekend. Daughter was being a pill on the way home and the wife was ready to put her out on the side of I81. We all survived. It’s an exciting time in your kid’s life…enjoy. (Now I’m so old, I have a grandson in his third year at Vanderbilt). Yikes!

[berettafan]

I was like ‘go far away and experience the world!’ VT is 6.5 hrs away and I felt like that was plenty close. Now that the time is here I wish he was much closer.

[beatnavy]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Thanks all. Blacksburg bound tomorrow afternoon. I do think it’s the right place for him but am already counting the days to thanksgiving break.

What helped us with our son was buying football tickets to a couple of the home games and going to see him. I know it's a long drive, but it's REALLY beautiful down there in the fall, the game day environment in Blacksburg is great, and I'd be willing to bet money you'll be very happy to see how well he's adjusted, how many friends he's made, how excited he is, etc. etc. Gives you something to look forward to in a couple of months.

Do you have any other kids? I thought maybe you did but can't recall.

[berettafan]

Daughter going into 8th grade. That helps.

Son got season tickets for football and is a big sports nut so that will be fun. Definitely want to hit some games and tailgate with him.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by berettafan

I guess that’s what I’ll want too.

There really is no right answer. What I do know is no one can fake happiness, the reasons why they are happy or, conversely, sad.

What I always looked for was their (my children's) sense of "this is the right thing"...I know that is specious but I was acutely aware that my limitations were not theirs. As parents, the transition from a friendly judge to advise and consent is hard. It was for me.

The fact that you posted this thread is the the portent of your children's success.

Blacksburg is, as you know, a terrific place...the school as well.

[MMARSH]

Hell I had a hard time when my daughter went to college 45 min away.....she lives on campus and acts like coming home is a complete PITY.

I'm glad she's having g a great time though.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by berettafan

I was like ‘go far away and experience the world!’ VT is 6.5 hrs away and I felt like that was plenty close. Now that the time is here I wish he was much closer.

Have faith in how you raised him. Trust his judgement but keep the communication lines open at all times. If he fks up help him put it all back together over breakfast and just listen to him and answer his questions. Worked for me.

[Jeff Higgins]

My wife and I did this backwards. We sent both of our boys away to a parochial boarding school in Eau Claire, WI for high school. Three years apart, both were 13 years old when we sent them. Both went to college locally.

We have been empty nesters for 12 years now, and I still cannot get used to it. Fortunately, both live and work locally. I'll be at the older son's place tomorrow, helping with a valve adjust and other stuff on his '79 SC, as we've been doing together for over 16 years.

[Crowbob]

Yeah. Doing things backwards is the better way, sometimes.

I shoulda skipped the kids and gone straight to grandkids.

[juan ruiz]

I had the same issue with my oldest Son, I was static, thrilled super happy he was finally getting out of the house, few weeks after it really hit me. All the unknowns, I had no clue about college, books, classes,tuition it was a nightmare. I then found a Facebook group for the college. I was the only Dad it was full of Ninja Moms, they knew everything and then some, that helped me a lot and with time things became much easier, I still belive that been engaged helped me a lot to deal with it, 4 years went flying, out of collage he got hired at Microsoft and the rest is history, many restless nights for me and now looking back all for nothing and unnecessary. We are now on the last year for my youngest one and it has been a breeze. Hang in there, listen to the Dad gut feeling, he will be fine, Dad.👍

[stomachmonkey]

I won't lie, it was tough with both of them.

But the house is cleaner and the quieter part is not bad, it's just different.

I sleep commando so being able to get up in the morning and wander around the house bare ass naked feeding the cats and **** is a bit liberating.