Operation ‘Move Dad Closer’ gets into full swing tomorrow

[unclebilly]

Well…

I got ‘the call’ last Wednesday. A spot at the private long term care facility has opened up for my father. My options were to move him in on Thursday or on this coming Tuesday (Long weekend and all). I couldn’t make last Thursday work as I was on vacation with my family at the time so tomorrow morning I am flying back to where my father lives, packing up some of his clothes and stuff, picking him up at the hospital on Tuesday morning at 8:15 AM and flying him to Alberta.

This has been a long time coming and I’m very apprehensive about how the next 48 hours will go. Traveling with someone who has dementia is not fun.

When I got the call, I immediately bought dad a wheel chair and brought it to the hospital so the OT there could get it adjusted properly for him, I sent a bunch of his artwork and pictures from his house to Calgary so it could be hung up in his suite before he got there (the courier managed to wreck the frames), and then continued with our vacation. We got home last night (stopped at IKEA to get new frames) and I spent today getting the rest of the stuff he needs.

The plan is for my wife (and hopefully my brother) to get to the facility an hour or so before us to get his suite set up.

Wish me luck, this could go smoothly or be a total 5hit show… I’m hoping for the former.

[LWJ]

Good luck good luck good luck.

I haven’t done this. But it sounds awful.

[KFC911]

Best to you UB .... hopefully this will go forward with minimal issues.

[oldE]

Uncle billy, I wish you strength and luck.
At least there are direct flights from Sydney to Calgary. (He was a Victoria resident, was he not?)

All the best from the East coast.
Les

[unclebilly]

Les - He lived in Qualicum Beach and is in the Nanaimo hospital. I was unable to get a last minute mid day direct flight from Nanaimo so we are flying from Comox. It’s an hour and 15 from the hospital and I hope that doesn’t further complicate things.

[wdfifteen]

"Wish me luck, this could go smoothly or be a total 5hit show… I’m hoping for the former. "

I do wish you luck. Dealing with someone who has dementia is a total roller coaster. Some of the drama goes away and it is almost a relief when they get to the point of not recognizing anyone.


My younger brother, my sister, and her husband did most of the footwork work getting Dad situated in a care facility. He acted as if he hated them for the rest of his life. On the other hand, I had almost nothing to do with it and he was always happy to see me for as long as he was cognizant of his surroundings. I was the one he contacted when he had (or more often imagined) a "problem." I never really did anything concrete for him like they did. When he called I just told him I would take care of it, "get the bastages" for him, and then change the subject until he forgot about it. It seemed the more actual help people gave him, the less he liked them. I hope things go more smoothly for you.

As you said, dealing with people with dementia is not fun.

[billybek]

Not sure if this is a possibility where your dad will be living. When researching places for my parents to move to, one of the lockdown facilities for people with dementia had family take photos of the front door of their parents former home and a wrap would be made for their door at the facility.
I thought it was a cool idea.
My dad had Alzheimer's like symptoms. Sad to watch people lose the ability to care for themselves.

Good luck with the trip and the move, Scott!

[Chocaholic]

I miss my parents every minute of every day, but must admit that the few years leading up to their departure were difficult…I don’t miss all the gyrations you’re going through. But know that you’re doing all the right things. You’ll never regret it. Kudos.

[unclebilly]

Originally Posted by billybek

Not sure if this is a possibility where your dad will be living. When researching places for my parents to move to, one of the lockdown facilities for people with dementia had family take photos of the front door of their parents former home and a wrap would be made for their door at the facility.
I thought it was a cool idea.
My dad had Alzheimer's like symptoms. Sad to watch people lose the ability to care for themselves.

Good luck with the trip and the move, Scott!

They do something similar in high river. We are moving him to a private facility in Calgary that specializes in dementia. I think this is 100% the right place for him. Getting him out of the hospital, to the airport, to Calgary, and to the new place is the part I’m dreading.

[creaturecat]

best wishes.
getting him away from Nanaimo hospital is a big deal. cost me both of my parents, that second rate hospital.

[unclebilly]

Originally Posted by creaturecat

best wishes.
getting him away from Nanaimo hospital is a big deal. cost me both of my parents, that second rate hospital.

2nd rate? I think you are being too generous.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

2nd rate? I think you are being too generous.

Sorry to hear that so quite happy he's coming to be near you.

[Seahawk]

My MIL has one foot on the dementia escalator, headed down.

She is currently in an unassisted senior living facility doing fairly well...good days and bad which my wife deals with. My wife runs and has authority over all the MIL's estate, thank goodness.

Our issue is that my MIL's family live as long as Redwoods...we have already begun to look at places in SC for her when we move...not as exciting as what you are dealing with, UB, but I understand.

Losing cognitive thought is the only thing on this Earth I fear.

[rfuerst911sc]

Wishing you the best , that's not an easy situation to deal with .

[pwd72s]

Yeah...hoping it's going well today..

[A930Rocket]

Wishing you the best Uncle Billy. We just moved my mother basically down the road, so I can’t imagine moving countries.

Speaking of moving, I’m six hours away from Atlanta, yet my brother who lives in Atlanta and I did 99% of moving my mom to an assisted living facility. Our two sisters who live in Atlanta, were worthless, which made for a lot of frustration on my brother and myself.

Some background. Our mom was beyond the caregivers ability (and tired of our sisters constant oversight, so they quit), so it was time to move her to assisted living, with doctors and nurses, that also had memory care. She was on the border for memory care. She has help at the push of a button she wears around her neck, plus constant checking in on. In our sisters infinite wisdom, they hired a outside caregiver. Now we pay for assisted living, that has proper help, and outside caregivers.

[sugarwood]

Originally Posted by billybek

My dad had Alzheimer's like symptoms. Sad to watch people lose the ability to care for themselves.
!

If it's not to tough to do, can you give some examples of how folks with Alz. lose the ability to take care of self?

Originally Posted by Seahawk

My MIL has one foot on the dementia escalator, headed down. She is currently in an unassisted senior living facility doing fairly well...good days and bad which my wife deals with. .

What are some things that happen during a bad day ?

Originally Posted by A930Rocket

Some background. Our mom was beyond the caregivers ability (and tired of our sisters constant oversight, so they quit), so it was time to move her to assisted living, with doctors and nurses, that also had memory care. She was on the border for memory care. She has help at the push of a button she wears around her neck, plus constant checking in on. In our sisters infinite wisdom, they hired a outside caregiver. Now we pay for assisted living, that has proper help, and outside caregivers.

What are examples of being beyond the caregiver's ability?

Also, how does one have outside caregivers while living in assisted living? She is in a facility with workers and the outside workers visit her in the facility? Why did you call this "infinite wisdom"?

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by sugarwood

If it's not to tough to do, can you give some examples of how folks with Alz. lose the ability to take care of self?

They don't remember if they've eaten, taken their drugs, where the bathroom is (let alone not recognizing when they need to use it, or even how to use it). Name about anything a fully functioning person does on a daily basis and dementia victims eventually can't do it.
I remember sitting with my father while eating lunch. He was playing with his mashed potatoes like a 6 month old baby. He didn't seem to recognize the food.

Originally Posted by sugarwood

What are some things that happen during a bad day ?

My dad would get in the car and start driving and get lost. We would find out when the police catch him speeding or driving erratically and call us. Sometimes it takes them all day to find out who he is and who to call.

Mom started hiding his keys, but he always managed to get a hold of keys. I started unhooking the battery, but he figured that out pretty fast. I finally put a completely shot battery in the car. He put a charger on it, but it wouldn't take a charge. That finally put an end to his roaming in the car, so he started leaving on foot.

Originally Posted by sugarwood

What are examples of being beyond the caregiver's ability?

They have to be watched 24/7. Even in a care facility with locked doors my dad managed to escape twice. Once he was hit by a car and ended up in the ICU.
In the mid-stages of his decline my dad was forgetful, but not stupid. He could figure out how to jump start a car or escape from a locked building.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by sugarwood

What are some things that happen during a bad day ?

One of the things my dad did repeatedly was get it in his head that Mom was taking all their money and putting it in a secret account, or that the mortgage company was repossessing the house. He would be furious. With him, the dementia not only brought weird ideas, but turned his normally calm personality to a very angry one. He would call me and I'd pick him up and drive him around and distract him until the bank closed for the day. By then he usually had forgotten why were at the bank. When we couldn't get in the door he'd ask if this was a holiday.
Two or three times he went off on the mortgage company. I would tell him I was calling my lawyer and we would take care of it. He calmed down until the next time.

[unclebilly]

Currently in the plane with dad waiting for take off…

Originally Posted by sugarwood

If it's not to tough to do, can you give some examples of how folks with Alz. lose the ability to take care of self?

They no longer have the stability to get into a bath or shower. They are too forgetful to clock and clean so they leave the stove or oven on for sometimes days. Sometimes water gets left on and places flood. No mobility for stairs. Forget to take meds.

What are some things that happen during a bad day ?

Falls and hips breaking, falls and concussions, don’t take meds and diabetic emergencies to name a few we have experienced in the past year.

What are examples of being beyond the caregiver's ability?

When the patient refuses help or meds or the caregiver doesn’t have the physical strength to assist with transfer in to bed and chairs or bathtubs or…

Also, how does one have outside caregivers while living in assisted living?

Yes, this is how some facilities work. The facility is old person friendly and the provide a room and do cleaning and cooking but medical professionals Capone in as often as needed to do the other stuff.


She is in a facility with workers and the outside workers visit her in the facility? Why did you call this "infinite wisdom"?