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sometimes, old school rocks. Church Key.

I live on a Culdesac. an impromptu block party happened a while back. beers wine..some room temp potato salad (nope).

back to the beers. several of my neighbors are cyclist. they had these cute bike manufacturer beer bottle openers, shaped like various things. an Alien head, a clawed hand (Ibis bikes). they worked okay, at best. I dont drink, so I ended up popping the bottles for "the ladies". (<---not how you are envisioning in your head right now). I ran into my garage and grabbed my Church Key. I'm not even close to the oldest person, so it was a well known tool, but FORGOTTEN. nobody still has one. I have two!!

there is no better bottle opener in my opinion. it has crazy traction on the lip of a cap, perfect leverage, the cap ends up in your hands every time. dont get me started on the coolest most nostalgic sounds when the pointy end pierces a can of chicken broth!!

I even use mine to pierce used up aerosol cans so I can put them in the aluminum bin. it has the grunt. I put a lanyard on mine at the party because it was at risk of walking away. the neighbors loved it. hahah....old people.

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Old 07-17-2025, 07:21 AM
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Old 07-17-2025, 07:22 AM
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A classic!
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Old 07-17-2025, 07:44 AM
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In my lifetime many times I have been offered a beer at someone's house. I almost always accept, unless it is an IPA. They go looking for the opener, and I reach in my pocket, and whip out my Swiss Army Officer's knife. I open the bottle, slip the knife in my pocket and about then they are ready to hand me the opener, and I just hand them the cap if I don't see a trash can. They always look at me like I am a magician, or have strong teeth.

The church key is hard to beat. We have one as well.
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Old 07-17-2025, 07:50 AM
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Well this is embarrassing. I searched though the silverware and other stuff drawer for my favorite opener, but it's not there. Maybe. I did find a fork that had been missing from the silverware organizer for at least 8 months, I only know that because 8 months ago my ocd compelled me to order a replacement.

There is a church key in that drawer, but it's rusty.

When we go to the racetrack I carry a swiss army knife. It's saved the day a few times when someone has a beer too fancy for twist offs, but doesn't have an opener.

I've got one of those aluminum openers on the truck keychain, used it a couple of times.

But this is my favorite. It's simple and you can carry it in your pocket without sticking yourself with the pointy end of a church key. Picture from the internet since I can't find mine.

Old 07-17-2025, 08:05 AM
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I have a couple of those as well, but never knew they were called a church key….
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Old 07-17-2025, 08:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul T View Post
I have a couple of those as well, but never knew they were called a church key….
maybe I learned that part in a dream. ha. or I heard an old gas station guy call it that in my deep deep suppressed childhood memories.
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Old 07-17-2025, 08:16 AM
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I thought I had one that was on a magnet, but it must have left town.
I did find this in my trusty old tool box that has traveled the USA with me.

I don't drink so that's why it's in such primo shape.
It's probably opened more cans of oil than beer too.
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Old 07-17-2025, 09:18 AM
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Shaffer Beer

Franmara

Ballantine Beer

Limca (those are the rusty ones in the middle) from India

Saint Arnolds with lots of leverage

The top Ah So - Hart Vineyard Temecula

Bottom Ah So - Calloway before he sold out and changed to golf clubs
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Old 07-17-2025, 09:33 AM
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Grandma was a ringer in the Denver Women's Bowling Association in 1969. The best!


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Old 07-17-2025, 09:45 AM
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Grandma was a ringer in the Denver Women's Bowling Association in 1969. The best!


Now that's cool!
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Old 07-17-2025, 09:53 AM
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Only works on weekends...

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Old 07-17-2025, 09:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by red-beard View Post


Shaffer Beer

Franmara

Ballantine Beer

Limca (those are the rusty ones in the middle) from India

Saint Arnolds with lots of leverage

The top Ah So - Hart Vineyard Temecula

Bottom Ah So - Calloway before he sold out and changed to golf clubs
I tended bar for about 5 years when I was younger. I had a small collection of various bottle openers. I think I got rid of most of them when we downsized, but I'm pretty sure I still have my main opener which is like the Saint Arnolds. Those are THE bottle openers. Nothing beats them.

This is not my opener or my hand but is representative so you understand the size.
As a bartender, it was in my back pocket and was tall enough that your finger could snag the big hole in the top to whip it out, pop the cap, catch the cap to throw in the trash, and then spin the opener back into your pocket in the blink of an eye.
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Old 07-17-2025, 09:57 AM
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The bottle kick is a favorite

@expatriogmbh How to open a bottle: ���� Germany edition �� #germanybelike #fyp #foryou #furdich #livingingermany #germany #lifeingermany #auslaender #expat ♬ Burn - Official Sound Studio
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Old 07-17-2025, 09:59 AM
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This thread is so amazing. I’ll be adding to thread once I get take pics
Old 07-17-2025, 10:07 AM
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At my first job, the vending machine dispensed glass bottles of soda. It had a built in bottle opener that had a trash can to catch the cap. That was handy, except emptying the container for the caps, and cleaning the gross buildup of dried up soda and mold around the opener.
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Old 07-17-2025, 10:12 AM
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I see Texas A&M guys do this all the time.

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Old 07-17-2025, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masraum View Post
I tended bar for about 5 years when I was younger. I had a small collection of various bottle openers. I think I got rid of most of them when we downsized, but I'm pretty sure I still have my main opener which is like the Saint Arnolds. Those are THE bottle openers. Nothing beats them.

This is not my opener or my hand but is representative so you understand the size.
As a bartender, it was in my back pocket and was tall enough that your finger could snag the big hole in the top to whip it out, pop the cap, catch the cap to throw in the trash, and then spin the opener back into your pocket in the blink of an eye.
my friend Vince had one!! I wanted it. he was a bartender for years.
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Old 07-17-2025, 11:21 AM
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Got this one in Germany. I'm sure its on permanent loan.

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Matthew - drove Nurburgring with wipers on and no rain
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Old 07-17-2025, 11:24 AM
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you know those canisters of butane that things like Jetboil stoves run on? well when they run empty, the Church Key can grab that lower rim and punch a triangular shaped hole into the can. only then can it be dumped into the recycle bin.

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Old 07-17-2025, 11:45 AM
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