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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 812
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Famous People's Answers to why the chicken crossed the road
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. MARTHA STEWART No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. VOLTAIRE I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. RONALD REAGAN What chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? JOHNNY COCHRAN It was because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit. HOMER SIMPSON Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... ...Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickin!
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07-15-2003, 03:06 PM
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ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone. By far the funniest (and most accurate) one.
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07-15-2003, 03:19 PM
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one of gods prototypes
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PEE WEE HERMAN
"AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH..........heHEE"
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07-15-2003, 07:04 PM
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one of gods prototypes
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John McEnroe
THE CHICKEN WASN'T CROSSED THE ROAD......HE WAS ON THE ROAD.......NOT OFF.......MY GOD.........THIS IS *&^$%$ STUPID
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07-15-2003, 07:14 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,504
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to show the 'possum it could be done???
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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07-15-2003, 07:14 PM
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
Posts: 51,063
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Jim Morrison...the Chicken crossed the road to break on through to the other side...
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Copyright "Some Observer" |
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07-16-2003, 09:09 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,504
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tabs
07-16-2003 06:09 PM This person is on your Ignore List. To view this post click [here] |
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07-18-2003, 07:03 PM
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
Posts: 51,063
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Hey Paulie...don't U have something better to be doing then Responding to the likes of me....like chopping wood or clearing brush away from the house?
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07-19-2003, 01:19 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 356
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I like Hemingway's imaginary answer too. Makes me want to try his books again (never could get through them in my younger days).
Still would prefer Scott & Zelda at a party though!!!
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RKC 1987 Guards Red Targa |
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07-21-2003, 01:18 PM
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i used to claim that I love Hemingway, until I realized that I only really liked THE SUN ALSO RISES and THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA. I hated hated hated A FAREWELL TO ARMS and TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT. I am lukewarm about FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS, and I like some of his short stories...
... but i agree, even though he is hugely influential stylistically, Hemingway is a bit over-rated. That isn't to say he wasn't great; it's just to say that he isn't AS great as everyone makes him out to be. Yes, I think Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald would be more fun at a party... I picture them in their flapper outfits dancing the night away and then climbing into some juggernaut of a car and careening around every road in town. Hemingway would be fun for about 2 hours, until he drinks too much and begins lamenting the sad states of life and love.
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07-21-2003, 05:41 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Illinois
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Excellent timing. I'm going on vacation soon, so The Sun Also Rises it is!
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07-22-2003, 10:28 AM
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great book to read while on a trip! some other good choices would be HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE
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Current Stable: Black 07 Porsche 987 Cayman S: Long-Tube Headers; FabSpeed Exhaust; VividRacing ECU Tune; IPD Plenum; 997GT3 Throttle Body. Blue 1983 Porsche 928S. 1985.5 Porsche 944 Rat Rod. 2011 Acura MDX. 2008 Mazda 3. Gone But Not Forgotten:Garnet Red 86 Porsche 951("The Purple Pig"). Alpine White 83 Porsche 944 ("Alpine Wolf"). Guards Red 84 Porsche 944. |
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07-22-2003, 10:34 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 356
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Reread "Zen" about two years ago. What a great book!
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RKC 1987 Guards Red Targa |
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07-24-2003, 07:59 AM
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
Posts: 51,063
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Refering to Hemingway..."Anybody who writes the same thing over and over again , sooner or later will be considered to be great." Raymond Chandler
Why don't we try...Chandlers "The Long Goodbye" or "Farewell my Lovely."
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Copyright "Some Observer" Last edited by tabs; 07-24-2003 at 01:46 PM.. |
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07-24-2003, 01:42 PM
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In the shop at Pelican
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 10,459
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Great travel books
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: pretty much anything H.S. Thompson is good The Masked Rider: after the death of his wife and child, Neil Peart (drummer for Rush) decided to ride a bicycle across Africa, this is the story On The Road: Jack Kerouac, nuff said, makes me want to hitchike acroos the country |
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07-24-2003, 03:35 PM
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2007 Porsche Cayman S
The Viridian Falcon
SOLD! -- The Purple Pig
SOLD! -- Mighty Mouse
SOLD!! -- Alpine Wolf
1985 Porsche 911 carrera targa 3.2
