OK time for instant poll. Who has the worst mugshot now:

Nick Nolte..... or Godfather of Soul ???????

I vote for Nick.

[img]http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads2/nol****g1075479281.jpg[/img]

Hey now forget about ME!!!!!!!!!!
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1075479743.jpg

Those Sheriff's Depts. really need to hire new Hair Stylists in their Mugshot Divisions!

And the reverberations of "do you know who I am" can be heard from Glenn Campbell's cell at this very moment.

this thread is amazing.

I have been a member of Pelican for a while and I am a Sr. Member. Have not been bad, so let me try at least once........


Do you guys know what the Gaay Sperrrm said to the other Gaay Sperrrm?.........


"Man, I cant see through this *****"

[thinking]He's not going to say it...Naw, he wouldn't say it...Yep, he said it![/thinking]

"Oooooohhh Noooooooo!"

"That's right, Mr. Bill. There's really no need to have a foreskin. Proceed Dr. Slugo."

"Oooooohhh Noooooooo!"

Allow myself to introduce ... myself

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender refuses to serve the string beer because...well..he's a piece of string.

Dejected, the string walks outside where he comes up with a brilliant idea:
He asks a young lady who just happens to be passing by if she will do him a favor.
He requests that she tie a very large knot in one end of the string, then asks her to fray out the fibers on the short end. She aggrees and ties a large knot, then frays out the fibers on the short end.

The string thanks her and proceeds to strut back into the bar. He bounces back up the same barstool and says, "yo barkeep, beer me".
The bartenders says "hey, aren't you that same piece of string I just kicked out of here?"

The piece of string replys smugly, "hmmmph, I'm afraid not!"

Get it?
The goofy gauge is pegged.

Ready for the fastest joke in the world?

*Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.*

Now on to junkfood:
Question 1) If you had a little junk food arena, and made junk food fight it out like ultimate fighting contests, who would be grand champion? I'm thinking it would be a close fight between McDonald's fries and Krispy Kreme choc. glazed donuts. In the snack chips class, it would be between Cool Ranch Doritos and Original Fritos.

Question 2) Is there anything in this world better than Applebee's all you can eat riblet baskets?

Question 3) What ever happened to: Frankenstuff (hotdogs with Hormel chili built right in) and Micromagic microwave fries?

Question 4) Does anyone actually like the taste of Hooter's buffalo wings?

yes on number 4, but I've never tried them completely sober.

Strings?

Two mushrooms walk into a bar and are refused service. The bartender points to the sign aboe the bar stating as much.

The first mushroom gets mad, the second questions the policy... "Why won'y you serve me here, I'm a fun-gi"

MAY FAVORITE JOKE OF ALLL TIME!

A guy walks into a bar. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?"

The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish."

"Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish."

The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him.

The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't ask for a million ducks."


The bartender replied,"WHAT?" "Do you think I asked for a twelve-inch Pianist?"

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm a lumberjack and I don't care......

Deleted statement about wearing women's clothes.

.......... and hang around in bars.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one of them was a salted.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into the bar.......

That was the first guy......

Daddy tomato, mommy tomato, and baby tomato are walking down the street. Baby tomato lags behind.

Daddy tomato stops, turns around, stomps on baby tomato and says, "Ketchup."

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?


Dam!


[It's getting ugly.]

"Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though"

What'd one Fuchs say to the other three?

"Gee, I'm tired."