Activism is a way for usless people to feel important- Thomas Sowell

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

"I don't drink water, fish f**k in it." - W.C. Fields

"Any man who can wear green tights while standing on a rock laughing like a madman and still look macho, is all-right by me" - regarding Errol Flynn in Robin Hood.

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word, but I don't t'ink it means what you t'ink it means." - Andre the Giant.

A few good ones from Steven Wright:

"Once I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer."

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?"

"I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future...just way off to the sides."

"I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?' So I said, "yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand."

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

Steven Wright-
"I was a C-section baby.....Can't tell it though....Cept, when I leave the house, I go through the window instead of the door."

" "There are eels in my hovercraft." - Monty Python "

NO NO NO NO NO

The quote is, "My hovercraft is full of eels."

from KILL BILL
Bride: "do you think I'm a bad person?"
Bill: "No, I don't think you're a bad person. You're my favorite person. But you can be a real **** sometimes."

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.

"Don't pee..on the electric fence" -Ren 'n Stimpy show

"Hey, watch this!" Last words of a redneck

"Where ever you may go, there you are" Unknown

"It's not a certain society that I find ridiculous, but mankind." Eugene Ionesco

"Sometimes I wonder if all the f***ing you get is worth all the f***ing you get." Humphrey Bogart

you kill one man, you're a murderer

you kill many, you're a conquerer

you kill them all, you're a God.

(from some Megadeth song?)

"I'll give you something to cry about"

My Dad circa 1978

"Do you want to go back to where i found you! Un-employed! In GREENLAND!!!"

"Who are you?
No one of consiquence.
I must know.
Get used to disapointment.
Ok."

"I admit it, you are a better swordsman than I am.
Then why are you smiling.
Becouse i know something that you do not know.
And what is that?
I am not left handed either!"
:D :D :D

My name is Inigo Montoya....you kill my father....prepare to die!

^^^ what movie is that?
that movie ruled.

The Princess Bride.

what sort of book is this?
It's got sport, it's got violence, it's got sword fights, it's got true love
grand pa... is this a kissing book?

"You'er sending the Fet! Sheit man, why didn't you say you where sending the Fet!" - Mace Wingdu in Pulp Fiction.. :D

the day the world began its long slide into hell was the day it became illegal to belt a man who desperately needed it

the louder the volume, the more ignorant the speaker

genius is lost on the common man