How important are looks?

[84porsche]

When dating, how important are looks to you? Would this say stop you from talking to someone? or Are you the type of person to look past the looks and take a chance talking to anyone?

[JeremyD]

You have to have sparks - tough to have sparks without the attraction. Tough to have the attraction without the looks.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Are we talking the looks of a bag of manure or someone who is simply rather plain?

I would always go out with people who could keep me mentally entertained. The exterior attractiveness is great for a couple of quick sack times, but being able to keep you enthralled over the long haul is much better!

[Overpaid Slacker]

I need the aesthetics. I need to see them and say "whoa" every so often. So looks are very important. For the long-term, there's got to be *more* than looks, but to have any 'term' at all they've got to be attractive.

Not that someone I'm not physically attracted to is in any way deficient, they're just not for me. Some would say those are the lucky ones.

JP

[techweenie]

In my experience, if you don't want to rip their clothes off in the first 30 seconds, they're not likely to sustain your physical interest over several years. Oddly enough, 'chemistry' like that is not entirely dependent on standard measures of attractiveness.

[RANDY P]

By "looks" it's assumed you mean well kept. If you don't take care of yourself, can anyone take you seriously?

It's important, but it's like part of a puzzle.

[84porsche]

Well let me clarify a little. For example let's say someone who looks somewhat decent but has some noticeably flaws (nose and chin misproportional) and causes me to say whoa. Looks are obviously the first thing that crosses my mind but I don't want to constantly think about it everytime I look. This seems weird that this is such a small yet a big part of relationships as everybody looks for something different.

[mikester]

Have to start somewhere..."looks" is very subjective - one man's trash is another man's treasure.

I've got this buddy who loves trailer trash looking (to me) women. Too much makeup - perfume - etc...oh and with a cig dangling from her mouth holding a domestic beer in one hand and a bowling ball in the other yelling "I can't find my trailer again!"

Yup, he loves 'em. Me on the other hand - I like women you can touch with a ten foot pole. My wife was hot to me when I met her (still is too). Some guys like tall, some like short, some like curvy some like skinny and there's always the chubby chasers. So, just because a girl doesn't LOOK good to you doesn't mean she doesn't look good to someone. If they give you a ration of crap about being shallow then they are clearly crazy and worth the time in the sack but nothing else (cause everyone knows crazy chicks do it better).

[speeder]

I could never be with someone that I am not highly attracted to, but on the other hand it is not that simple.

Many women who are technically *9 or 10s* bore me to look at, and others that are less "perfect" drive me insane. Also, looks alone are static, as soon as someone opens their mouth they become either much more or less attractive. Stupidity, self-obsession, etc., can ruin the whole thing. For me, the voice alone can ruin it.

I am always amazed at the variety of taste in this area, there is an old saying in the used car business: "There is an ass for every seat."

[Rufblackbird]

To me, looks are important. But like some have mentioned, it's all in the eyes of the beer ho...err I mean beholder. There's been a lot of times where a buddy would say to me "damn she's hot!" but I'll be like "umm...yeah...ok." I find certain people attractive while some others may not.

I don't know....maybe there's a reason why I've never had a girlfriend yet...I'm very picky.

[Moneyguy1]

Two things I have learned in my relatively long life:

1. "Beautiful people" are generally hung up on themselves and very shallow

2. Good looks don't last...Good cookin do....

Given that, I will choose plain, sensitive and intelligent over a "10" anday.

[island911]

SHALLOW!?

Maybe you missed that movie. . .I think it was a Michael Moore documentary on models.

Anyway, one of the models posed a very deep, profound question:

"Did you ever think that there was more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking? -- Derick Zoolander.



Okay, seriously. . . there are plenty of good looking people who are not shallow. Sure there are some shallow ones too. But a whole lot of them aren't being shallow. .. they just don't find you attractive.

[lendaddy]

You have to be attracted, but they do not have to be a 10 or even a 9. You have to want to have sex with them, that's about it.

Most of the guys I know (all actually) who say "my girl has to be hot, I can't help it" are generally the guys with bad marriages or chronic bad dating experiences.

Having been with my wife for over 9 years I can tell you looks don't even make the top five "what's important in marriage" list. This does not mean my wife is not attractive, she is. That being said, I see probably 40 "hotter" woman every day, she the same with men. We both know it, neither of us care. We are without question the happiest married/dating couple I have ever known.

Trust me, you 10 chasers have a VERY slim chance of living the dream, for reasons which are terribly obvious, proceed at your own peril

Side note: I've always found the best woman are the "something about her girls" for whatever reason. These are the woman you know are not 9-10's, but for some reason you can't take your eyes off em. Maybe it's the eyes or the smile or whatever, these are the good ones.

Edit: LOL, I'm bad. I've actually been with my wife for 14 years. Wasn't thinking.

[elwood-914]

Looks are important but so is the intellegence of that person. I have dated quite a few women since my divorce in 2K, and some women are beauties but mean and don't give a damn about your feelings and some are dumb as rocks and can't keep a conversation. Now the gal I am dating right now is attractive, not a 10 but a good 7 to 8 in MY book, but she is so kind to me and is no trouble at all. That brings her up to a 10.

[turbocarrera]

"No matter how hot she is, some guy, somewhere, is completely fed-up with her *****." - Some Genius

As long as I like looking at them, that's enough - they must be friendly, intelligent, and have a good sense of humour.

[Moneyguy1]

Ialand..I said "generally", not "always". And I will stand by that.

[island911]

hey Bob. . .that was just my silly post to a silly thread. . .. with a tlittle TIC razz.

[Schrup]

When you're in love with a beautiful woman it's hard
When you're in love with a beautiful woman you know it's hard
Everybody wants her, everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home

When you're in love with a beautiful woman you watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman it never ends
You know that it's crazy, you want to trust her
And then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone
When you're in love with a beautiful woman you go it alone

Maybe it's just an ego problem
Problem is, I've been fooled before
By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers
And everytime it happens
It just convinces me more

When you're in love with a beautiful woman you watch her eyes
When you're in love with a beautiful woman you look for lies
Everybody tempts her, everybody tells her
That she's the most beautiful woman they know
When you're in love with a beautiful woman you go it alone

Everybody tempts her, everybody tells her
That she's the most beautiful woman they know
When you're in love with a beautiful woman you watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman it never ends

IMHO Dr Hook summed it up pretty well.

[SteveStromberg]

I married an award winning stage actress. She is very good looking acording to the 100's of fan e-mail she gets every day. Would I have spoken to her if she not so attractive sure, I didnt think that I would of even had a chance but she married me and I am not even that cute.

[Moneyguy1]

Lucky you.