At that moment... Beth knew something was very wrong. She could not put into words the images she had just seen in her mind. The falling of Zoltar could only mean revenge by all overgrown, evil eye'd chickens.

Not thinking about what she was saying, she muttered aloud the word "Chicken".

The man covered in bacon grease, and the dwarf Quinlan looked at each other for one confused second. Then the man spoke "She's right. We do need a chicken!" Quinlan jumped up and down in excited anticipation.

The goat, not sure how he felt about the addition of a chicken, grew strangely excited...

Beth looked very, very scared.

Scared because she was remembering back to that day, not so very long ago, when she was at the local Shop and Go hoping to purchase a box of super size maxi pads without being noticed. As she was walking up to the door a very large, very fat woman came flying out through the front window as if propelled off a trampoline screaming "I am Caligula!"

Momentarily, Beth refocused on the room. Both the man and the midget were now covered in grease, and each had chicken feathers all over thier body. They both strutted around the room, flapping thier arms and clucking.

The goat was in the corner smoking a cigarette, the chicken was no-where to be seen.

The next flashback overtook her mind...

She was young then, five maybe six. Her father had just returned from the barn where strange smells and noises filled the air mostly late at night. As her father walked into the kitched where she was sharing a jelly, cheese and bacon sandwich with her uncle Morty, a strange noise came from the barn. A shrieking, the sounds of a feathered beast in tremendous agony yet experiencing immense gradifaction at the same time. The combination was as intoxicating as the sandwich Morty had just finished. Her father looked down on her. His jumpsuit covered in grease, oil, feathers and bile and said ...

"Dimwit ran stop go leave me be or don't light the stick pogo on the roof before dawn and mountain!"

She replied,"Excuse me, Mr. Wilson, I was just seeing if Mark could come out and play but I'll come back later..."

"this reminds me of the time lil' tabs spent the summer with us. that tabby could put away some morty style sandos, buffett style,, naturally.

the memories of this reminded her of a dream, not unlike the scene in wizard of OZ. when she revisited the sleeping thoughts that had shaped her youth, she saw tabby the cowardly lion, zeke the tin man (fixing rusty body parts, and looking to oil the hinges), and lastly, but not leastly the scarecrow, being played by pelicanite....

Lube77, who despartely needed a brain. The images seared her naked soul, reminding her of all she lost and other things she found. Gone now was her innocence, hunger and her clothes! "My God!" I'm still naked she thought. And that goat, why is he smoking Morleys? Didn't uncle Morty smoke those? Just then, things became obvious when...

she let loose with an earthshaking fart, long, loud and hitting five different notes in two keys.

"My goodness, that's better." she said. "I wonder if there's any bacon fat left?"

"What a skank!" said the goat to the dwarf. "A right crack hoor" he replied. "Do you have any of those smokes left?"

She padded off to the kitchen for the skillet leavings, vodka, and a tonic mixer. I watched her mix all this together in a highboy glass and drain it like a pro from long practice. As I grabbed the two spoons I took from the kitcher earlier from the pocket of the sou'wester, she returned to the room. I motioned at the spare spoon and she took it from my hand. I sat in my overstuffed chair as she stared into the fire, and packed my pipe. Lighting it and sending smoke rings into the dim light, I felt pleased with the night's work so far. Quinlan penned the goat and returned to the room smoking a Morley. I gave him the other spoon. Extending my boots, I clapped my hands twice. "Eat, my pretties," I said and felt very paternal as those two beautiful and slippery humans left grease tracks on the wood flooring as they began to feed.

Wait she said ..dont eat. Im feeling better. But what about the blood on your hands I asked. Your not bleeding - whos blood is it?. With an evil glare her mood changed drastically. She began to froth at the mouth, releasing flactuance without remorse and or embarassment.

She paused, lifting a cheek to expell even more of her deadly evil lucifer gas. I could not take it anymore so I had to open the door - suddenly lucifer the evil goat ran into my cabin and attacked Beth. She screamed and out from her mouth the fires of Hell escaped.

Youll never know she screamed, and at the same time you already know who's blood is it. Cant you see, she laughed ............

Edited for content. -Z-man.

it was only then I realized I was dying......

yeah it pretty much died this morning, i tried to stay interested but my ADD would not allow. what we need is a hottie like c_c or that hiedi with the ring in her thing to liven this up with some photos.

the more compromising the better ladys!

with death near, I jumped in the Porsche and turned the porno music on, and went tearing rubber out of there. I flew down the road, picking a race with a riced out civic, yanking his girl out the window, thinking 'my she looks a lot hotter than beth'.

This caused the civic to become uncorner weighted, and veer off the road and down cliff, where the hapless ricer exploded and burned with his altezza tailights.

(cue G-Unit's "Smile")

Suddenly im upon NYC, pimpin low with this chick I dont even know, growl of the P-cars exhaust, the 5-0 lights me up to pull me over. I drop the hammer, make a hard right and....

pull into a nearby drive way. I shut off my lights and cup her mouth. Any noise, any movement would tip off the heat. I couldn't let them find me or her. The squad car zoomed by and we waited several minutes before starting back. Just then, form the house whose driveway we sought refuge, out walked a beautiful maiden, white lace gown, hair flowing in the gentle breeze. She approched the car, looked in and said...

:cool:

nothing that made any sense, it was all jibberish. My mind wandered back to last night. Yes, that is when it happened, last night, late. The phone started ringing, waking me from a deep sleep. Every ring, I thought, would be the last. But it went on and on, ring after ring after ring. Who was that. Nobody calls me on my landline except telemarketers. And yet I couldn't shake the feeling that I had missed something important.

:D

I sat thinking what had I missed that was so important...it wouldn't come to me....so I tried to retrace all the things that I did last night...the girl of my dreams emerging from the woods all covered in blood and gore as if she had been to a Satanic feast...but that wasn't it either. ther e was something else more powerfull at work here....and then I remembered the brigth lights in the sky and then she appeared and all else seemed to fade away with the night.... Upon refelecting all that has preceded was as if in a dream...so I decided to pray to the Gawd that I had so long forgotten for guidence....and then it came to me that she the girl of my youth and dreams was an Alein from outer space...a monster intent on conquering the world..so I proceded to go out to the Red Barn for there is always some killin that needs to be done on the farm and got my AXE...I went back into the where she lay alsleep and began to hack her up into small pieces, blood and gore was everywhere and the beast that she really was began to writh in angony as I fell the last blow which severed it's head.... exhausted from such grueling work I sat on the sofa all cover in blood and fell into a deep sleep..upon waking the police had arrived and were checking out the hacked to pieces body of the girl from the woods..How was I going to explain my actions...

...
rubbing the sleep from my eyes I saw a fat bellied policeman waiting for me to wake. He had handcuffs ready for me in one hand, and I thought it was all over.
And then I saw he had a pot of congealed bacon fat in the other.
"Oh no!", I thought, "It's going to start again!"

"Boy, yous got some splan'n to do!" The officer snarled. I stood up but he pushed back down. "You stay put boy, don't you move less I tells ya too! You undertsnd me BOY!" "Yes officer" I wimpered. I remebered years back when I was stopped for a moving violation by a redneck Texas patrolman, the things he did to me still hurt. Nightsticks should never be used in such a manner. The upside to the whole thing was my utter lack of constipation yet the incontinance does effect me from time to time - as it began too this moment. I bagain to soil myself uncontrolably. "Boy! You STINK!" Just than, I saw my window of opportunity open...

then it happened...the monster she had become was now inside me!