Hey Moses

[tabs]

Moses you've received some training about this for your career...I need an opinion...

I know that there are some things that cause stress in a persons life....but how does this combination stack up in the scheme of things..

1 Move to a city where you have NO family/ and NO family Support from backhome and only 1 friend from home..

A. Are retired so that the number of social outlets are fewer

B. Several of the activities that one likes that have a social component are limited in the new city.

2. Immediately upon moving into a NEW home., finding that it is defective and that a LEGAL suit is the only way to resolve the situation....where talking a suit in the 100's of thousands of dollars here....

A. As a consequence of it being a brand new home, the outcome of the legal suit could include repurchase by the builder or repair which would be destructive to any landscaping and or interior decorating.. thus any improvments would be for naught...plus the home itself is the cause of the stress ...so that every time you see it you are reminded of the problem.

3. Have a Pet get cancer and die.

4. Have major Dental Work done on 3 teeth over the course of 4 months....Health Issues.....

5. Have financial concerns about your investment income.

6. Have a minor traffic accident upon arrival in the new city...dam traffic circles...

Put that all together and what kind of stress level do you come up with... all of this in just over a years period...

[Aurel]

How about having a nice house on the beach in Indonesia and loosing it in a split second, along with all the member of your family. Then, be sitting on a pile of rubble, wounded and hungry, but grateful to be alive.
I filled in for Moses because I also had a doctors training (not in medeicine though, but close enough).
Things could be worse Tab
Is there any snow in Vegas ?

Aurel

[tabs]

Yes there was.....

So your like the Mom who says, " Eat your spinach Johnny because there is SOME (undetermined who this really is?) kid on the other side of town who is hungry tonight.

This doesn't deal with the stress level I have...and things could always be worse for the Indonesian too...he could be dead...so he should be happy he is alive sitting in that pile of rubble...

[Aurel]

Originally posted by tabs
Moses you've received some training about this for your career...I need an opinion...


I know that there are some things that cause stress in a persons life....but how does this combination stack up in the scheme of things..

Let us look more closely point by point:

1 Move to a city where you have NO family/ and NO family Support from backhome and only 1 friend from home..

How about moving to a country where they speak a diferent language, call you a commie, and denigrate your country everyday on Foxnew ? And of course same thing, no familly, no support and all...

A. Are retired so that the number of social outlets are fewer

Boy would I love to be retired: Fishing every day, travel, and I could still do some consulting on the side. I have never considered sharing the day with my coworkers as a social outlet.

B. Several of the activities that one likes that have a social component are limited in the new city.

You mean, you have tried all the buffets and casinos in your area ? How about trying some sports clubs now...

2. Immediately upon moving into a NEW home., finding that it is defective and that a LEGAL suit is the only way to resolve the situation....where talking a suit in the 100's of thousands of dollars here....

How defective ? Can`t you sell it and buy another one ? Need more specifics on the defects to comment here.

A. As a consequence of it being a brand new home, the outcome of the legal suit could include repurchase by the builder or repair which would be destructive to any landscaping and or interior decorating.. thus any improvments would be for naught...plus the home itself is the cause of the stress ...so that every time you see it you are reminded of the problem.

If the house is the source of stress, it has a bad energy in it now. So, I would definitely look for another one.

3. Have a Pet get cancer and die.

This is sad, but not as sad as losing a member of your familly from cancer. Lost my dad from lung cancer, and my uncle has bladder and prosate cancer.

4. Have major Dental Work done on 3 teeth over the course of 4 months....Health Issues.....

Stress causes health problems, health problems reinforce stress. I sympathize, I am 35 years old with the back of a 70 years old.
Exercize and healthy diet are the key for better health.

5. Have financial concerns about your investment income.

It is better to have an investment to worry about than none. A little bit like paying taxes. When I reach retirement age, social security may not exist any more. Right now, I worry about my job security and my performance all the time. If the lawsuit for your house is in the 100ths of thousands, I am confident that you will never en up working at Wall-Mart...

6. Have a minor traffic accident upon arrival in the new city...dam traffic circles...

Minor, and not driving a Porsche. No big deal.

Put that all together and what kind of stress level do you come up with... all of this in just over a years period...

Put all together, that gives you an average level of stress, like most people experience. Nothing dramatic or insurmontable.
You`ll get through it. Faith is the confidence that things are bad for teaching us a lesson we need to learn, and that the lower the down is, the higher the up will be.

Aurel

[Moses]

Originally posted by Aurel
Put all together, that gives you an average level of stress, like most people experience.
Aurel

I disagree. Several events in your life rate quite highly on the stress scale.

You are telling me you have some financial concerns (house and retirement), health concerns, an employment change, a relocation, and you lost a pet. These are enormous stressors and are difficult even under the best of circumstances. The real problem is that the usual coping strategies are unavailable to you because you have lost a great deal of your social network. In the end, it's the people that love us that pull us through the hard times.

My advice? You need to reconnect. If there are friends or family that you share an attachment to, it's time to leave Vegas and get closer to them.

If you have no close personal attachments, then it's time to reconnect and rebuild your sense of purpose. Many retired people experience powerful feelings of loneliness and lack of direction. Tabs, it's time to serve. People gain tremendous strength through serving others. Some choose to serve through charities, some through a church. You love animals. I'm sure they could use help at the local animal shelter or wildlife hospital. You're bright and have a passion for history. Why not teach? Volunteer to tutor some young kids who are struggling.

The serious stresses in your life are compounded by the fact that most of your usual support systems have vanished. I think it's time for you to reach out.

[elwood-914]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Moses



My advice? You need to reconnect. If there are friends or family that you share an attachment to, it's time to leave Vegas and get closer to them.

. [/QUOTE

I totally agree with Moses, I went through a horrible divorce 5 years ago, that being after moving away from family. I have a wonderful network of friends now that are always there for me. Great advice Moses..

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally posted by tabs


1 Move to a city where you have NO family/ and NO family Support from backhome and only 1 friend from home..

Who is this friend you speak of?

Seriously, sounds like a lot, and I completely agree with Moses. There was a week in my life when I couldn't afford food, and that was in my early 30s.

I have found 2 things in life that really helped me, one external, one internal.

Friends are friends whether they are next door or all over the country and they are always there for you.

You can change your future in an instant, you choose your direction in life, you are never at the mercy of others.

[tabs]

Thank You Moses...your answer was the one I was expecting about stress levels, your Authority on the matter validates mine...and doesn't make it seem like I am a complainer.

Friendships exist on several levels...I would say "Close" and "Casual." I have a handfull of Close friends that I have known for years...it takes time and patience to develop these bonds of trust...they do not happen overnight. These people I have stayed in contact with throughout my sojourn here in LV. The more Cassual ones I have not kept in much contact with. I also have my neighbors which also have the same legal problem as I did (my case has been settled), and as such I have a "close" friendship developing there...but the casual end is pretty weak....

I would say Legal Suits are Hughly Stressfull even in the best of circumstances...they drag on and on raking you over the coals never knowing what the next turn of events or BS is going to be...this is the event upon arriving in an unknown town that ripped the bottom out of my boat emotionally....I felt like I just had to gut it out, you have no other choich... I have survived it and have now setteld the case, I now have to repair the house (late february) and make a number of decisions....

I personally think that I am in a period of thawing out after the Legal Suit...now I can allow myself to feel how hard it has been... and give myself some freedom... but the important thing is for ME TO REMEMBER is that I NEED MY FRIENDS....and to keep telling them how I feel...I must admit that recently here I forgot my own axiom...and have paid a price for it, by feeling completely isolated... and that my friends is a scary place to be...Hmmm somehow I think certain members of this Board should being listening closely here...

BTW: I have had 3 people tell me now to get out of this House because of the bad vibe....I think that is good advice...

[tabs]

I also consider that the people on this Board are my friends....

[vash]

strange, i was just talking about this with a friend. when we were 16 the max stress was how much air to run in my bike tires, and if cigarettes would make me look cool and julie sum.... err nevermind.

i agree with moses. TABS, you gotta get out and do something. if i had your time, i would do volunteer work, get that early car going, walk 3 miles a day, ADOPT another dog, read to kids,.....you dont need so much free time to think about stuff that will stress you out. ***** it, get a part time job somewhere whipping up lattes for pimply college kids. get out there tabs!

[elwood-914]

Tabs, you have a PM

[M.D. Holloway]

Tabs - best thing to be is busy as heII! Get the good stress thing going - over commit, over extend, over do! Idle time is the devils workshop. Getting out is good but so is staying in as long as you have activity that demands reason and intellect then you will see the bad stress go down. Tell you what, I will be in Vegas speaking at the STLE (Society of Tribologists) in March. I can score you a shot in and feed and drink your sorry arse under the table while commiting true acts of debauchery that WILL STAY IN VEGAS! What say you - Tabs of wealth and taste?

[tabs]

This past week I applied for a part time job at Gawd forbid...Sam's Club.... I also have started playing Poker again...as a means of getting outa the house..Also I think I am going to join a Gym, as I need to lose a few pounds for healths sake....The volunteer work I have thought of but don't know what...that would need some investigation...also taking a Golf Class at Community College might be a good idea as well as a Writing Class....hmmm...

The "One Friend" is a woman that is a few years older than I am, who I met at an auction a number of years ago. Over the years we have become good friends, she considers me to be like family. She is also VERY LIBERAL...

I will be making some serious decisions here in the next few months which I plan on laying out here...

[turbo6bar]

Climb Mt. Everest, tabs.

I agree with other posts. Consume your mind and body with events, interactions, and activities, and your stress will fade. Everyone is different. You just gotta find the right juicy fruit.

[juanbenae]

tabs is reaching out here?? i wont just spew a quick response, i will sleep on this so i might gather much wisdom for my reply. hold tight tabby i am brewin' up yer curin'.

in the means time do like cliff says and volunteer at a shelter or something.

[tabs]

Stressfull situations can't be worked off....sure yoiu can keep your self busy...but the stress from a Legal suit can only be alleviated by it's RESOLUTION....no mater what you do the mere fact that the outcome is still in doubt weighs upon you.

The same is true for an illness in the family...until that person recovers or passes away your left hanging....

Depression can be alleviated or mitigated by activity...the mere
fact that you get up and start moving can lift your spirits.... but it might not change the underlying sadness of the persons situation.

Depression is a normal response or reaction to events or circumstances in our lives... for instance you wouldn't be happy at the passing away of a loved one, you would be sad and grieving....

Yes I am reaching out and telling you all that my life ain't all Peaches and Cream of the nonstop LV Buffet....that I have been dealing with some pretty heavy duty items....this thread is my way of staying CONNECTED with my friends by leting them know whats going on with me behind the scenes.... that in itself gives me solace...

[M.D. Holloway]

Try as we may, we can really only think of one thing at a time. If you tie up "X" amount of time concentrating on a card game or a class assignment - that is time not spent in quiet contemplation. That was the reasoning I grew up with as to why to go to Church, "at least your not out bust'n windows for that hour a week!" Sounds silly, but the old man had us ballz - 7 straight - to the wall from 4th grade on through past college - no time to feel bad or get into too much trouble. Of course, that also lead to stress of another nature but that was managable.

[juanbenae]

ok i have thought about some means of snapping out of this.

tabby's national tour! this is where you go from pelican nest to pelican nest and visit areas where we gather to meet the masses. say you start in so cal, get jackie O and the boys to take you on a mulhollan (sp) drive run, the a BBQ back at motions. you know all those chicks that hang at motion pool and you might get lucky and get a ride in BB2? does that not sound fun?

next you run up the coast to the no cal bay area. there are not less than a dozen bird crew guys up here that would welcome you for some activities. i for one know a couple titty bars that will make you feel right at home, like a LV show girl thing. maybe a mines road run, a visit to kings table so you dont jones for a buffet 3 to 5 days into your tour.

from there you trek north to oregon and washington, see if island, pwd, and the other great NW pelicans can keep you busy for a few days?

from there you could head east and see the nation pelican style. have some shirts printed up and sell them in every spot. something like "TAB'S AMERICAN TOUR '05" on the front and a picture of the expresso machine on the back with "BREWIN' UP SOME JUICE & BLOWIN' OFF SOME STEAM". i am good for one. maybe a silhouette of tabby's profice, kinda like the one hitchcock made popular on his show back in the day?

anyway, lets get some other input on what kind of time you guys could show him during his visit. who could put him up in each port.

someone who has a memebership to the early S board please cut and paste a link to this post so they might get in on the tabby tour 05. ;<)

tabs when you leave make sure you plat sherryl crow's leaving las vegas cd.....

[M.D. Holloway]

I'm game! Got a great guest room for you Tabs on your trip through Texas! A deep freeze full of corn fed Angus, plenty o good oil for a systme flush of your P-car if you drive and a media room with surround sound and a wide screed for wideless contemplation. Heck, you may not want to leave! What the heck am I offering????? Should I check with the mrs. first? Oh the heck with her, she's a sport! The idea is great! Put me down for 2 shirts! And a week or two housing the Tabester...

[Shaun @ Tru6]

G9Girl will sponsor it.