From my Grandpa: "what you want to find, Grant, is a woman who is a perfect lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom."

From my Dad: "Someone who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter or waitress is not a nice person."

From a college prof: "Everything in moderation, including moderation."

From my Grandpa about the time I was starting to get interested in girls: "You know, them girls are not just soft boys".

:D LOL!
"All cats are grey in the dark!" I think Ben Franklin said it...

Great one by Neitzche (sp) - "That which does not kill me makes me stronger".

One of my favorites from Forrest Gump;

Remember this, piece of mind over piece of @ss...

My former boss gave me the best advice I've ever recieved -

"Always protect yourself from things that can break you".

I always carry good home, fire, earthquake, car, and health insurance.

On my wedding day, I told my father in law to be that I wanted him to know that I'd take good care of his little girl. He said "Hugh, I know you will because if you don't, I'll break both your ******** legs"

Don't put that in your mouth... you don't know where it's been!

"Trust ... but verify." -- Ron Reagan

"You're a big guy, and you can really hurt someone, but the damage you're capable of inflicting with words will leave much deeper, longer lasting scars than ever your fists could." -- Dad

"Most people you encounter are going to have much less to lose than you do. Pick your fights carefully." -- Steve Lambert (law school buddy).

JP

1. One of the last things my paternal grandmother told me, "Stay close to the Lord".

2. One of the last things my maternal grandmother told me, "Get all you can out of your father." (he never had much to give...advice or otherwise)

3. One thing my best friends grandfather told me often, "Listen to your mother, she'll never tell you wrong."

4. My father-in-law always said, "If you get in a rut, grab a sow by the tail and she'll pull you out." (he later told me this meant raising hogs was a good way to get out of debt)

5. When I was a teenager Mom only had two rules: "Don't get thrown in jail and don't get your girlfriend pregnant."

6. I often tell my 18 year old son, "You can do this my way or the hard way!"

Concerning being young and thinking you are tougher than everyone else:
"Don't pull out anything you don't want shoved up your own ass. No matter how tough and quick you are, there is always someone tougher and quicker on any given day."

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. :)

My ol man used the cow line on me, my relpy: cuz there's things I can do to that cow if I own it that I couldn't do other wise!

Assume = makes an @ss out of you and me

From my Dad - "Always do the job right the first time...it will save you from having to do it twice."

From Junior Wells (R.I.P.) one night - "Never chase a woman or a bus..there's another one coming around the corner soon."

My Uncle Jack before they hung him said..." You can't cheat an honest man, give a sucker an even break, or wise up a chump."

Later on someone asked Uncle Jack if playing Poker was gambling, his reply was, "Not the way I play it....."

Life is Bittersweet....the sweet is the wonderment of a single blade of grass and the bitter is the knowledge that we have such a short time in the sun to enjoy it.....ME

one of the professors on my thesis committee:

"Don't peak too soon."

Oscar Wilde: "the only way to avoid temptation is to yield to it"

my uncle: "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as with a poor girl"

"Why settle for free milk when you can get the cream for just a little more!"

dave -
The real trick is to find the rich girl. Beleeeeve me. :D

"Lead me not into temptation, for I can find it myself." -- Anonymous.
As it turns out, Anonymous has been a constant source of guidance and inspiration throughout my life. Thanks, Anon' ol' buddy.

Just about anything by W.C. Fields, Dorothy Parker, H.L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde and Ambrose Bierce can be considered sage advice.

JP