Best advice you've received.
 

What is the best advice you've received?
When I was getting married my mother-in-law told me to "give my husband a wife and home he would want to come home to and not to ever under any circumstances to do or say anything in public that would embarrass my husband or me", this last translates badly into English and for once is clearer and more succinct in Italian: "non fare brutte figure", it's all to do with public image and nothing to do with mores, sexual or otherwise.
Both are excellent advice for anyone marrying an Italian, especially if living in Italy. It reads a bit like the thread a few weeks ago on advice to a young wife from the fifties that gave everyone a laugh but I believe it's something a woman needs to understand in order to properly housetrain a husband. It is not Stepford wife programming as I interpret it!
At the same time my mother told me to "let him buy himself a toy occasionally", Well I don't think that one needs discussion here:)
Anyone else received good or humourous advice?

My wise mother told me that you don't really know a girl until you've spent at least 500 quality hours with her. That's 500 wakeful, interactive hours. It's usually enough to become acquainted with her mood swings, her friends and family, and her true nature once she's off her best behavior. It's excellent advice, and I wouldn't allow a relationship to progress until after reaching that 500 hour mark.

My late grandfather told me years ago that if you want to know what your wife would look like later in life, to look at her mother. I believe he was not just speaking in terms of "looks", but her overall being. Good advice. I remembered that years later when I met my bride-to-be. Looked at her mother and thought to myself, "Nice, attractive, and fun lady. I would be happy with someone like her as the years pass."

Now almost 20 years later, I am more in love with my wife than the day we married. Granddad, if you're watching, a big "thumbs up"!

It's more a saying than advice, but the message is implicit-"No good deed goes unpunished."

This quoted to me by my last, and final, boss shortly before laying me off because of my safety record in the industry. The ironic thing is that I was covering (by taking the blame for certain "incidents" that were clearly his doing) for his poor safety policy figuring that as a subordinate, you protect your boss and he'll protect you. Haha. Valuable lesson learned.

"Stay Alert!" my ol man always tells me. Sounds pretty simple but it has saved my (and others). Niow I do the same with mine but I also add "and Focus" (not the car).

Robert Dinero.................."Make sure you always have plenty of steaks in the freezer".....................($$$$) !!

Never start a fight, but make sure you finish it. - Dad

Best advice I ever received was to not pay too much attention to any poster that had less than 180 posts......

Best / good advice :

No woman is ugly when your D*%# is in her mouth

:D

Going back to my motorcross days... "If in doubt, open out!".

From the old man... "never point a gun at someone unless you're gonna shoot them, if you do shoot them, make sure you kill them".

from my mom... "Don't be like your father!"

From me.. "Never hook up a timing strobe light to a chainsaw and point it at the chain and never turn electric lawn mowers upside down to see how fast they go!".

From my days as an Ozark Hillbilly:

"With these two rules to live by,
You've 'purt near got it skinned:
Never whittle towards you,
And don't spit against the wind!"

Don't whiz on an electric fence.

Something about money growing on trees.

Don't wear white after Labor Day.

I had an international economics teacher in Grad School. First day of class he shared the following with us, saying if we got nothing else out of the class, he wanted us to learn this:

"In this all too imperfect world, there ain't no free beer".

On his final, 25 points for the following question:

"What was the one thing I wanted you to learn in this class?"

Thanks, Professor Taylor.......

Everything in moderation.

"No matter how hot she is, always remember that some guy, somewhere, is completely sick of her *****.." - unknown

Not really advice bit more of an indirect lesson my grandfather taught me.

He was a cigar and wine collector. Every day he'd go to his cellar and pick a bottle of wine then go to his study and light a big old cigar. He'd have a glass of wine with it and cork the rest up for family dinner.

He goes to the Dr. for a check up and the doc says, "you need to cut out the wine and cigars or you'll be dead in a year, if you stop now you'll live another 2 years or more". So grandpa stops and after a couple months of it he is miserable. He thinks to himself, "I've had a nice long life, I'd rather live a year and be happy than live 2 years and be miserable".

So he goes back to his old vices and a couple of months later slips in the shower, hits his head and dies 3 days later. In the end he never made it through the year and his death had nothing to do with the wine or cigars but at least he went with a smile on his face.

Moral for me, enjoy life every day cause one of them will be your last!

That's a fact jack.

Scott

My great-grandmother Yvgenya always said, "This too shall pass." She lived a hard first 50 years and basically raised two daughters on her own.

I've found her saying to be hold true in all sorts of situations. ;)

you can F your eatins' , but never eat your F'ins.

From my Grandpa: "what you want to find, Grant, is a woman who is a perfect lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom."

From my Dad: "Someone who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter or waitress is not a nice person."

From a college prof: "Everything in moderation, including moderation."

From my Grandpa about the time I was starting to get interested in girls: "You know, them girls are not just soft boys".

:D LOL!
"All cats are grey in the dark!" I think Ben Franklin said it...

Great one by Neitzche (sp) - "That which does not kill me makes me stronger".

One of my favorites from Forrest Gump;

Remember this, piece of mind over piece of @ss...

My former boss gave me the best advice I've ever recieved -

"Always protect yourself from things that can break you".

I always carry good home, fire, earthquake, car, and health insurance.

On my wedding day, I told my father in law to be that I wanted him to know that I'd take good care of his little girl. He said "Hugh, I know you will because if you don't, I'll break both your ******** legs"

Don't put that in your mouth... you don't know where it's been!

"Trust ... but verify." -- Ron Reagan

"You're a big guy, and you can really hurt someone, but the damage you're capable of inflicting with words will leave much deeper, longer lasting scars than ever your fists could." -- Dad

"Most people you encounter are going to have much less to lose than you do. Pick your fights carefully." -- Steve Lambert (law school buddy).

JP

1. One of the last things my paternal grandmother told me, "Stay close to the Lord".

2. One of the last things my maternal grandmother told me, "Get all you can out of your father." (he never had much to give...advice or otherwise)

3. One thing my best friends grandfather told me often, "Listen to your mother, she'll never tell you wrong."

4. My father-in-law always said, "If you get in a rut, grab a sow by the tail and she'll pull you out." (he later told me this meant raising hogs was a good way to get out of debt)

5. When I was a teenager Mom only had two rules: "Don't get thrown in jail and don't get your girlfriend pregnant."

6. I often tell my 18 year old son, "You can do this my way or the hard way!"

Concerning being young and thinking you are tougher than everyone else:
"Don't pull out anything you don't want shoved up your own ass. No matter how tough and quick you are, there is always someone tougher and quicker on any given day."

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. :)

My ol man used the cow line on me, my relpy: cuz there's things I can do to that cow if I own it that I couldn't do other wise!

Assume = makes an @ss out of you and me

From my Dad - "Always do the job right the first time...it will save you from having to do it twice."

From Junior Wells (R.I.P.) one night - "Never chase a woman or a bus..there's another one coming around the corner soon."

My Uncle Jack before they hung him said..." You can't cheat an honest man, give a sucker an even break, or wise up a chump."

Later on someone asked Uncle Jack if playing Poker was gambling, his reply was, "Not the way I play it....."

Life is Bittersweet....the sweet is the wonderment of a single blade of grass and the bitter is the knowledge that we have such a short time in the sun to enjoy it.....ME

one of the professors on my thesis committee:

"Don't peak too soon."

Oscar Wilde: "the only way to avoid temptation is to yield to it"

my uncle: "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as with a poor girl"

"Why settle for free milk when you can get the cream for just a little more!"

dave -
The real trick is to find the rich girl. Beleeeeve me. :D

"Lead me not into temptation, for I can find it myself." -- Anonymous.
As it turns out, Anonymous has been a constant source of guidance and inspiration throughout my life. Thanks, Anon' ol' buddy.

Just about anything by W.C. Fields, Dorothy Parker, H.L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde and Ambrose Bierce can be considered sage advice.

JP