Jimmy Carter Attack Sub to be Armed with Nerf Missiles

[Overpaid Slacker]

Jimmy Carter Attack Sub Armed with Nerf Missiles
by Scott Ott

(2005-02-16) -- The U.S. Navy on Saturday will commission its newest nuclear-powered attack submarine, the Jimmy Carter, with many new features, including multiple-warhead Nerf missiles.

President Carter, who brought peace to the middle east, vigorously defended America's right to give away the Panama Canal and, in 1994, convinced North Korea to abandon talking about its nuclear weapons, said he's honored to have his name on "one of the most powerful peacemaking devices on earth."

Jimmy Carter is the first of the American Seahare-class subs, featuring a high-tech sonar system which alerts enemy forces to its presence and a safety device on the Nerf missiles which allows firing only after an enemy missile impact.

"This new generation of nuclear submarines is designed to use trust in our enemies as our first line of defense," said an unnamed Navy spokesman.

President Carter has invited leaders from North Korea and Iran to the commissioning ceremony, during which former First Lady Rosalyn Carter, in a time-honored Navy tradition, will give the first order to "man our ship, bring her to life then park her over there by the dock!"

JP

[bryanthompson]

Found the killer bunny pic (It's freakin' massive):
http://www.narsil.org/politics/carter/rabbit_original_3000x2254.jpg

http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/monpytkilrab1.html
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/mopykirasl.html

[stevepaa]

Let's elect Overpaid Slacker as President.
His platform:
Nuke em now before they have a chance to fire back, start with France.
Pan handlers, cut their hands off. That'll show them.
Christ said the poor will be with us always. Get over it.
Out of work. Get a job.
Social security- Smith and Wesson
Environmentalists- send them all to Antartcia to study the ozone hole.
Anti war peace lovers, send them to France soon.

[bryanthompson]

With the exception of the panhandlers, you have the right idea, Steve.

[Overpaid Slacker]

Yeah, I'm tough on "ideas" and "idealists"; guilty as charged.

But if you won't assess fault for failures of the Left (b/c nobody's exactly leaping forward to take the blame) how do you learn from them?

I never said anything about panhandlers or social security, and I never invoked Jesus.

But it's easier to create-a-Conservative caricature and attack that straw effigy than deal with an actual Conservative's positions. And Liberals don't like things that are difficult. j/k, a little bit.

BTW, you can be pro-war and still love peace. Like me, for example.

JP

[304065]

Peace. . . is the time it takes you to reload. - Bob Zimmerman

[stevepaa]

Sorry, I just couldn't resist a little sarcasm.

Issues are more complicated than one liners and sound bites from our administrations.

Politicains, whether conservative or liberal, are guilty of simplification, and both are guilty of egregious deeds, and both are averse to accepting blame. Nixon never thought he had done anything wrong. Reagan couldn't remember. Clinton thought it was none of our business. Carter is the example why a true evagelical should never be in power. George W Bush is the example why a phony evangelical should never be in power. The only person of note who I ever remember apologizing for grave error of judgement was Robert McNamara and getting us into Vietnam.

I was in a state of fear of nuclear war in the 50-'s, swallowed the domino theory and pro war in the 60's, supported nixon for his first term, hated him for abusing my trust in my governement, antiwar in the 70's, out of step with most of my govenment's actions since then. Never voted for Reagen even as Governor, because of what he did to the education system in California, yeah I remember "trickle down" when I was laid off. Those multi-millionaires with their big tax breaks from Reagan sure took pity on me.

Registered Republican and born again christian, fiscal conservative, social liberal, voting mostly for Democrats- yeah that can be divisive. Sort of like the US in general.

[Jeff Higgins]

Well done, Slacker. Very well done.

[Overpaid Slacker]

When did W ever claim to be on a mission from God? Or anything similar? He hasn't. That's our oh-so-neutral Main Stream Media's characterization of someone who goes to church and believes in God.

I agree that Nixon "sinned," however his greatest sin was in revealing to us what all other politicians had done for decades. He's the guy who let the cat out, and the American people had every right to hate him for destroying their illusion of American politics. Check out Lasky's "It Didn't Start With Watergate". If you lived the life and travelled the miles you have, it'll be an interesting read for you.

"Trickle down", "supply side" or whatever is not a full employment guarantee. Some people get pinched; as cold and dispassionate as it sounds. However, we've all got things in life that "happen" to us w/o our volition, fiscal, personal, physical, whatever. Looks like you recovered from having been laid off back in the day... and do you think there was an overall improvement in educ. in CA from then 'til now? Some people probably were let go along the way to make it better. Just a guess.

JP

[Superman]

Dubya has made reference to his policy chats with God. It wasn't just a WMD thing. It was also a "God made me do it" thing.

Capitalism REQUIRES a certain level of unemployment. It's part of the package. I expect there will be folks who will defend the "survival of the fittest" economic system we've got (and characterize themselves as Christians at the same time...hmmmmm), but restating the fact that we all have problems at one time or another is not the same thing as taking a position on whether these people should get our help or not.

In the meantime, and while there are people freezing, and while families are living in cars, I expect we will continue to cut funding for solving those kinds of problems, and for education.....and Wall Street is having an off-day today, so perhaps more tax cuts for investors will be seen as a good idea. It's amazing what greed can justify, and even WAY more amazing how easy it is to get millions of people to believe in an economic theory that is proven false, and that looks fishy to start with.

I'm banning you JP, and myself as well.

Well put, stevepaa.

[Overpaid Slacker]

Supe, how can you of all people on this board equate looking for spiritual guidance from God with blindly following "God's" orders on some "Crusade?"

I can look to God for what's right and wrong and soulsearch over a decision, but that doens't make me some pawn of the almighty, nor does it mean that I later stand back and say "Well God told me to." I decided, after due deliberation, including but not limited to, prayer to do X. And suddenly he's a Jesus freak. Dude, what happened to you?

You and I will always disagree that throwing more money at something is the only way to solve it (and the inverse, that taking money away from something it was "solving" will necessarily make it worse). But I will always believe that the needy should be helped (... into the cattle cars muuuhuhuhahahahaha... j/k, relax).

And I agree with you on the millions of people believing an economic theory that's been proven false. I'd say billions of people, including millions here in the US (largely in academia) still believe in Marxism.

JP

[kach22i]

Originally posted by Superman
In the meantime, and while there are people freezing, and while families are living in cars, I expect we will continue to cut funding for solving those kinds of problems, and for education.....

This is so true, my compassion keeps me from ever becoming a republican.

[Overpaid Slacker]

Who duped you into believing the Republicans aren't compassionate? That's what you've been told to keep you in the fold. It is flatly untrue. Do you really believe that Democrats aren't capitalists, aren't greedy and invisible-hand driven and actually have some monopoly on compassion? You've been duped. Seriously.

And, kach -- you're already a "republican"; in much the same way I'm a "democrat."

Sounds like your intellect drives you toward "Republican" theories but this compassion canard you've bought into prevents you from coming on over b/c you've been hornswaggled that it's the Dark Side.

[kach22i]

Originally posted by Overpaid Slacker
Who duped you into believing the Republicans aren't compassionate?

Maybe it's been all the depleted uranium the republicans have put into Iraq that's kept me fooled.

http://www.commondreams.org/cgi-bin/print.cgi?file=/headlines04/1101-01.htm

[Overpaid Slacker]

Right, continuing to allow them to be murdered by the hundreds of thousands under the capricious rule of a tyrant is "compassion."

No wonder the Left loves the UN so much, with all the genocide it's allowed to go on right under its nose (Bosnia, Rwanda, Sudan ... just to name three off the top of my head), and the rape and prostitution rings its personnel have serially perpetrated around the globe, most notably, right now, in Congo. THAT, my friends, is compassion. Because they tell us they're compassionate, so we don't need to look into, much less think about, it.

Oh, and the US has been working very hard -- under a Republican administration -- to sanction Sudan and have UN troops go in to Darfur and elsewhere to stop the slaughter of tens of thousands of people. That sounds compassionate to me. Don't let the facts get in your way, though. W's meeeeaaann and hates furrriners.

Guess who blocks sanctions in the Security Council -- Russia and China, who don't want their commercial interests with Sudan disturbed. Geez, the Socialist and the Communist/Marxist aren't being compassionate for commercial reasons.

If I were you, I'd feel pretty damned stupid about the eye-rolling smiley right now. But we know intentions are all that matters, so no matter what the outcome, the Left can feel no shame for its own failures; only for those of their abstract "culture".

JP

[bryanthompson]

Slacker, you're a damn rockstar.

[stevepaa]

Education in California has deteriorated ever since Reagan was governor. I can not blame him for all of it, just getting it started. When I was a teacher, some of my fellow teachers voted for Prop 13. Then we all voted for the lottery because education gets some of it. Every so often we get new politicians who want to make teachers accountable, latest is my governator. I just have the impression that most people want someone else to fix the problem. Blame the school boards and some sort of mismanagement of funds for lack of funds. Blame the teachers who must not be qualified to teach. When I had failing kids, I tried to get the parents more involved in their children. Some parents reacted very well, others told me that when the kid is at school, that's my problem. We have school boards closing schools for next year due to lack of funds. I know that sometimes you just have to close schools as the number of kids don't justify keeping it open. Heck, my high school from the 60's got closed in the 80's and just this year reopened as a junior high. Per pupil spending in Cal is at dismal levels. We used to say you can't make a silk purse from a pig's ear, but someone did. Now most people expect more from less. There still is no such thing as a free lunch. I think we need to pony up and spend more money on education.

On Nixon. Yes, I know most leaders do bad things that we don't want to hear about. He just did something more base corruptible to the underlining structure and faith in goverment in this country than anyone else.

I should not have mixed my layoff with trickle down. I was against the whole supply side argument. Republican tax breaks have never really helped the middle class as much as the very wealthy. Of course, I can not recall a Democratic tax break.

On politicans and God. Most use their religion to further their career. Geoge W certainly falls into that. His appeal to "evangelicals" and fundamental strict morality and his statement of freedom being God's gift to humanity just reinforces my belief that he has more similarity to a Pharisee than real born again christian.
Pharisee: 1) A member of an ancient Jewish sect that emphasized strict interpretation and observance of the Mosaic law in both its oral and written form.
2) A hypocritically self-righteous person.
You probably kenw this, it is mostly for others who have never heard of the word fornication.
A real born again christian would have said that God's gift to humanity was salvation through Christ. The predominant teaching of Christ is love God, love your neighbor and forgiveness. Blessed are the peacemakers. Freedom and democratic govenments are not a christian ideal and never have been. However, W wants to send that mesage. His use of the term crusade was not a misstatement. It is his mindset. I am afraid of what he will get us into and who will ultimately pay the bill.

Oh, like your choice of cars. I have had a 60 MGA, 69 912, 69 2002, always wanted a boatail, on our 4th volvo now. Now have 95 325i and 92 911 C2 ( rebuilding engine now ). Rode my Suzuki 400DRZ and broke my foot last year.

[Tim Hancock]

Slacker, please keep up the good work. You are obviously very good at identifying the weakness of the left's arguements and then countering with the truth.

[Superman]

JP, relax. How may espressos today? (smiley waving face goes here)

We won't always disagree on the throwing money part. Throwing money does not necessarily make something better. cutting a budget is not always a bad thing. But one point way may differ on is something Steve said. Many people (those of a certain political ilk, I notice) seem to want someone else to solve the problems. Blame teachers. Blame blame blame. Pretend that gubmint already has all the money it needs, but is just wasting 80% of it. Anybody who believes that should take a peek, just a peek, into the workings of their legislature or Congress. Those organizations (which probably have your party's members in the Chair-person seats) have been engaging in a gubmint witch-hunt for many years now, and it's a DRY HOLE. They keep doing it so you can continue to believe it's all gubmint's fault. They actually know better. It's you that's being fooled. Deliberately. Fact is, and I'll take one example local to me, if we want to relieve traffic congestion here in Seattle, we're going to need money to do it. Folks who pretend money is not necessary are certainly underinformed, and likely also daft.

Also JP, I understand that most all Americans are compassionate. When asked whether we should take care of our less fortunate brethren, nearly every American answers "yes." That's good. But please don't make yourself look silly by pretending that the Republican party is compassionate. Their voting and public policy record suggests otherwise. Apparently that party, and folks like you and others here, adopt the amazingly compassionate and sophisticated policy that the best way to help those less fortunate, is to withdraw our help. That way they'll "Learn to stand on their own two feet." Yes, if you teach a person to fish, they can feed themselves for a lifetime. So, why then is it that the fish-teaching programs are hammered as viciously as the giveaway programs. It's bunk. It's greed. And the entire world sees it, except for the millions of "R"'s in this country.

And don't tell us that Dubya is Sudan's protector. He's basically disbanded the UN, and so I guess you guys have to decide where you wanna go with that. I hear the UN bashed here daily, and now you're suggesting Dubya is promoting their involvement. Decide. Fact is, he probably gave the UN a death blow. And he's not ready (he does not have the resources, frankly) to take up their mission. Here's the bottom line if you are going to go any further with this Dubya-as-Sudan-protector thing: Fact is, we're busy crushing a nation that has massive oil reserves in the name of WMD, or democracy, or whatever the excuse-du-jour is...and all the while Sudanese people are being butchered. Dubya's is cheap. Let's not make your talk seem similar.

It's greed and it's human nature. Dubya is not the genius you guys pretend he is, and you know it.

[stevepaa]

I wouldn't say that he shows the weakness of the left's arguments.

He defines the argument first so it looks bad from a logical viewpoint.
"No wonder the Left loves the UN so much, with all the genocide it's allowed to go on right under its nose (Bosnia, Rwanda, Sudan ... just to name three off the top of my head)"
I do not love the UN, but I know it does not have an army to stop anything or the ability to force real economic sanctions. All countires have economic interests that may be in conflcit with what is "good for humanity".

And then we also point to them when they disagree with us. France did not agree with the US first strike unjust war in Iraq and many said it was because they just knew that we would find WMD from France once we got in there. None of them have ever admiited that they were wrong.

In fact I have never heard a Pro Iraq war supporter ever admit that oops yes, the unjust was indeed unfounded. What I hear is we really went to war to free the Iraqi people.

Now, W is using the bombing in Lebanon to back Syria into a corner, and darn it, Syria and Iran now have formed a partnership. Be prepared for War in Iran in two years, just in time to get another pro war Republican in office. Yes, Dick Cheney as President and W as VP. I can see it now.

God help us all.