need a list on how to please a woman
 

Okay, I need serious suggestions.

My daughter's boyfriend does not have a clue on how to woo a woman. No flowers, no cards, no suprise dinner outs, the guy is lame. They are both in mid 20's.

Anyone know a good book on this. thanks

I have a similar sort of situation with a daughter in her mid twenties. I think her boyfriend would make a great husband for her but he seems afraid to move forward, getting my baby girl to clean up her act a bit might help.
However, on the basis of what you posted my advice is don't get involved and let them sort it out for themselves.
If your daughter approached you for help; I would suggest advising her to try and take the initiative and again, don't get involved.

My daughter and I are pretty close and have discussed this quite a bit. She has expalined to him all the liitle things she is expecting or would like. He hears but does not listen. After the conversation he will say, "what do I need to do", and she gets frustrated because she just gave him a list. It's all about him and what he wants to do and with his friends. He does not show that he values her.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1110213626.jpg

Hope this helps. ;)

Randy

Randy, thanks. That's a start
But I need something that requires a little bit more reading.

Im not gonna lie, I think its natural. Im 20 and been dating my girlfriend for 4years and even after alll that time I stil love opening the door for her and surpising her with flowers, nothing expensive, just random and cute. And this lets me get away with getting new race wheels and paying my dues for my DE in May that were due instead of buying her an anniversary present. I asked her several times if this was okay and she replied with a smile "I wouldnt have it any other way". You must beet into him its the little things. The "I love yous" and the "you look gorgeous today". He needs to realize those little things mean more than he could ever imagine to a woman.

New boyfriend; life's too short.

It may be "natural" but it also may be permanent. I'm 35 and still selfish, but I'm upfront about it and attempt to manage expectations early on in relationships. If there's still tension after a few months, then we're not right for each other. No big deal, move on.

JP

PS- Steve, I am being serious. I know it comes across as flippant, but it's not intended to be.

Yeah, my son is a natural. I wasn't. 28 years of marriage and i am still not there.

JP
Thanks, I know you are serious. I have mentioned this same idea to her.

I would counter that he's got game; he's shown that he's not a pu55y, and that's why she's still with him. I've found personal experience, women lose respect for guys who do all the flowers and candy and stuff. They're trained to say they want a guy who's sweet and sensitive, want what they can't have, and what they want is an outlaw biker whose testicles they can harvest and store in a jar of formaldehyde on a shelf. You can spot those guys by that whipped look as they emerge from the flower shop with $100 is roses in their hand, or sitting in an expensive restaurant with that pained expression while they listen to her prattle on about her latest escapades at the nail salon.

Your daughter is not upset that he doesn't buy roses/surprise dinners/etc - she's dismayed because he's not *******-hipped yet.

All men have the capacity to woo a women (some do it better than others, regardless the effort is often seen by the intended...which often times (if she is interested) is enough). If the fellow can't or doesn't think he knows how...he's not interested enough!

Post a picture of your daughter and watch the guys come running to be her knight in shining "amore." :D

Oh..Mathew...you ain't go game Young Jedi...wait until you are old enough to go to a real bar for grown ups..I'll show you the way :D

Re: need a list on how to please a woman
 

I'll make a suggestion, but if the guy is a liberal I have my doubts about his willingness to learn anything. ;)

By Ellen Kreidman, Light Her Fire; and for your daughter, by the same author, LIght His Fire.

He doesn't listen and he's selfish. Your daughter needs to break off with him, if he crawls back he might be salvageable, if not she's well rid of him.

I am guessing this is a "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" thing...

I mean nothing bad or derrogatory about that. Follow me: he already has her for a girlfriend, and he doesn't have to do that stuff. Why start? His loss, her gain.

Personally, I love to do little things for my wife. Anything that makes her smile. It's who I am. She's not gonna get him to change... he is who he is. The best she can hope for is for him to go through the motions... but does he mean or feel it?

If it doesn't happen from the beginning, I'd question the scencerity.

Best of luck to em though!!! I'm on my second marriage so maybe I should hush. :)

More like 'what's the point of tipping the dairy farmer every time you get a glass of milk?'

On the cow subject.
Yeah, my wife and I have both thought about that. I think girls/women just can't understand the male psyche in this regard.

The women that do are bedecked in large shiny chunks of super-compressed carbon and Au, and drive expensive cars, neither of which they've paid (cash) for.

Have the boyfriend get with this guy for private lessons... LOL!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=AsianPrince213

spot on you are, m'boy. spot on ;)

You guys with the male macho outlook have long lasting marriages?

How to REALLY please a woman?

Make her your sole beneficiary and die.

Given what steve evidently thinks of this knob, that may be the optimal solution for this case... as long as they're not married so she doesn't inherit his debts.

JP

I have two. My older is on the lleft
<img src="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads4/now1109043887.jpg" border="0" alt=""> <br />
<br />

Oh, and that's my son in the middle

Damn that a good looking family! Your wife must be beautiful! ;-)

Noah ... you lived in dairy country (Vermont) for a while, no? :D

JP

Just tell him to buy her an Iron, vacuum cleaner, and maybe some nice dish towels.

Why do brides wear white?
'cause you want your dishwasher to match your refrigerator...

dhoward:

ohhhh.... I'm going to get in so much trouble with that joke. Wish I knew it last year when my brother, sister and mom each got married.

JP

Paging Dr. Wilson... Dr. Mark Wilson. Paging Dr. Mark Wilson.

Classy...real classy


Steve thats a nice looking family you have. You should be proud.

I think you're just an old rascal, Steve. I think you're pursuing the brilliant strategy of combining youth, sex and expert advice into one question-askign thread, knowing that the response would be hilarious.

Thanks. My son inherited his good looks from his mom. He got his legs from me. My kids are 24, 21 and 18 this year.

I hope this post does not turn out to be as long as it might. I'm 47, and have always been a dreamer when it comes to love. Women get to stand on pedestals. I've noticed some standard stuff that works and stuff that does not. Flowers, surprizes, sacrifices, etc. I'm not ugly, perhaps a bit charming. I have four sisters and no brothers. My sisters are the world's coolest people.

When I fell in love just over twenty-five years ago, in the first few years I mentioned to her several times that men can be easily, happily and effectively manipulated. It's a standard technique that does not even have to be stealthy. "Oh honey, you're so strong and brave, will you ____________ for me please" (insert any task). My love would have none of it. Dishonest, she said. In fact, all positive communication was deemed syrupy and dishonest. Criticism seemed to be the only thing she could verbalize. Okay, I thought. My ego is like prestressed marble. Wrong. She finally left me in October 2003 and I'm finally able to take deep breaths.

I still cherish women and still hope that a relationship can happen, but I've got baggage now. And the baggage is....I'm not the slightest bit tolerant of criticism and selfish behavior. Women want this and want that and it seems they marry in order to own an ox to harness. It seems like women think marriage is just a contest to see how much you can get your ox to do.

so, sorry for this story but I'm just illustrating where I'm at. I'm between the sweet guys and the buttheads. I'd love to spoil a female. But any hint of a harness and I'm outa there. And it seems like the genesis of this thread is a young female wondering how she can get some guy to perform some set of behaviors. My advice to her would be to consider very carefully what she wants in a relationship. My advice to him might be to run screaming away.

Oh, and FWIW, the one good thing that came from my marriage is two sensational young girls. Their mother was filipino and spanish, and so it's fair to say they are easy on the eyes. Nice girls, too. the oldest is twenty. When I'm walking with her, I can't help wonder "why are all these guys staring at me?"

Oh, and I still think you're probably an old rascal, Steve.;)

good points. I have asked her to look ten years from now, and see if she likes what she sees. If so, then continue, if not , time to move on.
The real genesis is her feeling uncherished, unloved and trying to indicate to him, some little things that should be coming from his heart and not a checklist.

act uninterested, gets em every time.

As I consider the situation and the question, I like Isabo's suggestion. The reason has to do with the psyche of the typical male. She may be very important to him, but he pay not see a reason, yet, to behave in ways that illustrate that importance. As much as this tactic smacks of rejection and manipulation, it's the kind of wake-up call that can get a young man's attention. Not easy to do.

Re: need a list on how to please a woman
 

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Maybe he's frugal...as in, cheap. What a fright, eh?
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What it is about him that attracts her?...his good qualities, etc.
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'Never know, she may have a fear-of-loss/fear-of-change ghost hanging around...creating an aversion to being more selective/looking around at other young men. (just a thought)
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A good litmus test that I like is noticing how folks behave around animals...especially dogs, and especially puppies.
Quite telltale, actually. Invite a dog/pup owner over.
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I notice your son's hands are not touching/holding his sisters. Maybe both boys are shy/timid/reticent. Who knows, eh?
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I agree...fine looking kids. Wonderful faces.

Re: need a list on how to please a woman
 

So does the other daughter get out much?????? ;)

Please explain.