need a list on how to please a woman

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 07:05 AM

Okay, I need serious suggestions.

My daughter's boyfriend does not have a clue on how to woo a woman. No flowers, no cards, no suprise dinner outs, the guy is lame. They are both in mid 20's.

Anyone know a good book on this. thanks

Isabo · 03-07-2005, 07:30 AM

I have a similar sort of situation with a daughter in her mid twenties. I think her boyfriend would make a great husband for her but he seems afraid to move forward, getting my baby girl to clean up her act a bit might help.
However, on the basis of what you posted my advice is don't get involved and let them sort it out for themselves.
If your daughter approached you for help; I would suggest advising her to try and take the initiative and again, don't get involved.

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 07:38 AM

My daughter and I are pretty close and have discussed this quite a bit. She has expalined to him all the liitle things she is expecting or would like. He hears but does not listen. After the conversation he will say, "what do I need to do", and she gets frustrated because she just gave him a list. It's all about him and what he wants to do and with his friends. He does not show that he values her.

rcecale · rcecale's Garage

Hope this helps.

Randy

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 07:44 AM

Randy, thanks. That's a start
But I need something that requires a little bit more reading.

PorscheGuy79 · PorscheGuy79's Garage

Im not gonna lie, I think its natural. Im 20 and been dating my girlfriend for 4years and even after alll that time I stil love opening the door for her and surpising her with flowers, nothing expensive, just random and cute. And this lets me get away with getting new race wheels and paying my dues for my DE in May that were due instead of buying her an anniversary present. I asked her several times if this was okay and she replied with a smile "I wouldnt have it any other way". You must beet into him its the little things. The "I love yous" and the "you look gorgeous today". He needs to realize those little things mean more than he could ever imagine to a woman.

Overpaid Slacker · 03-07-2005, 07:50 AM

New boyfriend; life's too short.

It may be "natural" but it also may be permanent. I'm 35 and still selfish, but I'm upfront about it and attempt to manage expectations early on in relationships. If there's still tension after a few months, then we're not right for each other. No big deal, move on.

JP

PS- Steve, I am being serious. I know it comes across as flippant, but it's not intended to be.

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 07:50 AM

Yeah, my son is a natural. I wasn't. 28 years of marriage and i am still not there.

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 08:16 AM

JP
Thanks, I know you are serious. I have mentioned this same idea to her.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

I would counter that he's got game; he's shown that he's not a pu55y, and that's why she's still with him. I've found personal experience, women lose respect for guys who do all the flowers and candy and stuff. They're trained to say they want a guy who's sweet and sensitive, want what they can't have, and what they want is an outlaw biker whose testicles they can harvest and store in a jar of formaldehyde on a shelf. You can spot those guys by that whipped look as they emerge from the flower shop with $100 is roses in their hand, or sitting in an expensive restaurant with that pained expression while they listen to her prattle on about her latest escapades at the nail salon.

Your daughter is not upset that he doesn't buy roses/surprise dinners/etc - she's dismayed because he's not *******-hipped yet.

MotoSook · 03-07-2005, 08:45 AM

All men have the capacity to woo a women (some do it better than others, regardless the effort is often seen by the intended...which often times (if she is interested) is enough). If the fellow can't or doesn't think he knows how...he's not interested enough!

Post a picture of your daughter and watch the guys come running to be her knight in shining "amore."

Oh..Mathew...you ain't go game Young Jedi...wait until you are old enough to go to a real bar for grown ups..I'll show you the way

competentone · 03-07-2005, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stevepaa
... the guy is lame...

I'll make a suggestion, but if the guy is a liberal I have my doubts about his willingness to learn anything.

By Ellen Kreidman, Light Her Fire; and for your daughter, by the same author, LIght His Fire.

Isabo · 03-07-2005, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stevepaa
My daughter and I are pretty close and have discussed this quite a bit. She has expalined to him all the liitle things she is expecting or would like. He hears but does not listen. After the conversation he will say, "what do I need to do", and she gets frustrated because she just gave him a list. It's all about him and what he wants to do and with his friends. He does not show that he values her.

He doesn't listen and he's selfish. Your daughter needs to break off with him, if he crawls back he might be salvageable, if not she's well rid of him.

Mike(dat's me) · 03-07-2005, 08:54 AM

I am guessing this is a "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" thing...

I mean nothing bad or derrogatory about that. Follow me: he already has her for a girlfriend, and he doesn't have to do that stuff. Why start? His loss, her gain.

Personally, I love to do little things for my wife. Anything that makes her smile. It's who I am. She's not gonna get him to change... he is who he is. The best she can hope for is for him to go through the motions... but does he mean or feel it?

If it doesn't happen from the beginning, I'd question the scencerity.

Best of luck to em though!!! I'm on my second marriage so maybe I should hush.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Mike(dat's me)
I am guessing this is a "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" thing...

More like 'what's the point of tipping the dairy farmer every time you get a glass of milk?'

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 09:06 AM

On the cow subject.
Yeah, my wife and I have both thought about that. I think girls/women just can't understand the male psyche in this regard.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by stevepaa
On the cow subject. ... I think girls/women just can't understand the male psyche in this regard.

The women that do are bedecked in large shiny chunks of super-compressed carbon and Au, and drive expensive cars, neither of which they've paid (cash) for.

MotoSook · 03-07-2005, 09:15 AM

Have the boyfriend get with this guy for private lessons... LOL!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=AsianPrince213

ronin · 03-07-2005, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
I would counter that he's got game; he's shown that he's not a pu55y, and that's why she's still with him. I've found personal experience, women lose respect for guys who do all the flowers and candy and stuff. They're trained to say they want a guy who's sweet and sensitive, want what they can't have, and what they want is an outlaw biker whose testicles they can harvest and store in a jar of formaldehyde on a shelf. You can spot those guys by that whipped look as they emerge from the flower shop with $100 is roses in their hand, or sitting in an expensive restaurant with that pained expression while they listen to her prattle on about her latest escapades at the nail salon.

Your daughter is not upset that he doesn't buy roses/surprise dinners/etc - she's dismayed because he's not *******-hipped yet.

spot on you are, m'boy. spot on

stevepaa · 03-07-2005, 09:25 AM

You guys with the male macho outlook have long lasting marriages?