Joke?

lendaddy · 03-21-2005, 05:44 PM

Edited for content. -Z-man.

dhoward · dhoward's Garage

Worked for a VP about 7 years ago that got the biggest kick out of telling that joke. He was about 52 and generally very professional to everyone but the 4 or 5 of us who reported to him. Sometimes, in a particularly boring meeting, he'd lean over and whisper, "You know, a good goat'll do that."
Brings back fond memories.
Odd, isn't it?

hoff944 · 03-21-2005, 08:56 PM

Actually a REAL good goat'll...........I mean umm....I'd better change my location.

jbripps · jbripps's Garage

A skeleton walks into a bar, and asks for a beer and a mop..................

LeeH · 03-22-2005, 05:24 AM

Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

juanbenae · juanbenae's Garage

i found a REALLY good goat will let you lace it's hind legs into your boots.

mikester · 08:39 AM

Edited for content. -Z-man.

This fella was sitting at a bar when this beautiful woman - a 10 of all 10s walks up and sits next to him. She smiles flirtingly and he of course drools a little (as we all do). She orders a drink and then opens the converstaion with him.

"You know I could give you anything you want."

"Anything I want he says...hmmm....what would I have to do to get this?"

"It's simple; for $100 I will do anything you want - you just have to tell it to me in three words."

"Oh, $100 & three words you say. Well..."

He pulls his wallet out, opens it and retrives 5 crisp $20 bills and places them in her waiting hands.

"Now," she says, "What can I do for a man like you."

"Well, I have 2 wonderful children at home with my wife who I never quite get the quality time I want to spend with...

So, if you please...

"Paint my house."

-rim shot-

mikester · 03-22-2005, 03:11 PM

seems I killed it - sorry thread

pwd72s · 03-22-2005, 05:14 PM

Naw, you didn't kill it Mikester...I heard the joke a couple of decades ago...but it's still a good one!

But the way I heard it, the guy had to describe what he wanted in "just three words"...

mikester · 03-23-2005, 08:39 AM

You're right - corrected...

I can't believe I forgot the punchline of that joke. I'm such a tool.

mikester · 03-23-2005, 08:43 AM

Whoops! Sorry Z - didn't mean to step over the line.

pwd72s · 03-23-2005, 08:50 AM

Here's a funny I got in yesterday...old one, but funny...

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female.. Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
>Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

pwd72s · 03-23-2005, 09:10 AM

Anther oldie...

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.

After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"

It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

mikester · 03-23-2005, 09:28 AM

HA! That's great. I've heard it too - a golden one.

Milu · 03-23-2005, 10:36 PM

Golden indeed!

It was in Boccacio's Decameron! It may well be older than that!