This is funny - airline maintenance

[pbs911]

I don't like to just cut and paste from other boards, but this is funny.


Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
+++
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
+++
P: Something loose in thingypit.
S: Something tightened in thingypit.
+++
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
+++
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
+++
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
+++
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
+++
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
+++
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
+++
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
+++
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
+++
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
+++
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
+++
P: Mouse in thingypit.
S: Cat installed.
+++
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

My brother in law works as an A&P for Qantas...

he says this is in fact true....

[Rot 911]

Am I the only one that immediately thinks "urban legend" when I read these types of posts?

Sure enough: http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp

[smoak]

Love the humor anyway.

Kurt, props for the fact checking. I really like it that people around here, humor or otherwise, don't let stuff slide (seriously). This BB really has their $hit together.

[304065]

Yes, legend or no, I still bust out laughing every time I read it.

My favorite: Something loose in cockpit-- something tightened in cockpit.

[Jeff Higgins]

My all-time favorite is the "engine missing..." one.