Most guys will tell you they don't want to get married anyway. That they're having a ball banging bar whores and the like. That marriage is stupid or all chicks are psycho anyway or no married guys are happy so why follow them(this is partially true, see how that happens below).

But in reality most of them desire a stable, committed relationship with a good woman. The problem is that they have entrenched themselves in "the game". The warped sense of reality they get is amazing. It's not their fault really, and I'm not talking down here...just pointing it out.

They end up looking for the girl they have told all their buddies "it would take for me to settle down". Problem is there is only one of her in the world and I already married her:) J/K But seriously, they've set themselves up to where the lady must not only be what they want, but some cocktail of perfections "the guys" have agreed upon".

Now moving along.... they end up in short(if lucky) painful relationships with whores, *****es or idiots because the physical part is the easiest to get group approval from. Now, no matter how f'ed up this skank is, the occasional comment from the peanut gallery like "dude your chick is smokin!" will serve to excuse HER actions. I blame alot of it on the pack mentality.

That wasn't written very well, and I have much more but I have to head to the bank.

My single-ness problem (one of them, anyway) is that I've taken myself out of the game. Can't stand the bar scene (not since my mid 20's), and most women I meet have disqualified themselves in some way, ie tatoos/bizarre piercings, single motherhood, dimensionally undesirable, etc. The older I get, the pickier I get, and the less inclined I am to put up with a chick's BS. In the old days, I would put up with it for the, well, you know. Now I'd just as soon spend the time in the shop working on one of the cars, as opposed to feigning interest in some dip***** betty in a bar.

Regarding the first part above: At the time, did you consciously know that you were forgiving mental/emotional shortcomings?

Regarding the second part:

That's great. In fact I tell all my single friends that there's nothing wrong with being single either. Find something to occasionally dip the wick in and worry about you for a few years.

My belief is that about 20% of the population is capable of a happy marriage. There are a frigging ****load of unhappy marriages out there that pretend not to be.

If you are dating a chick and cant get along/enjoy yourselves 99.99% of the time, then you have .01% chance of being happy once you're married. That is the no ****, honest to goodness truth.

I know I sound like a cynic, but I'm really not. These are honest observations from (quite possibly) the happiest married man in the world.

lol:)

I agree that most men are in denial about their singleness, but there are some Don Juans out there whom have a sense of self within the chaos and can make conscience decisions to remain single and maintain happiness. They are just as open to marriage as anyone; they just have a stringent screening process that keeps them single a little longer than others. In the end however I think we all end up getting married because this is what the women usually wants. I don't claim to have any self-control when I'm in love but hopefully I am able to screen out the wrong ones and know when to marry the right one at the right time.

...you tend to trowel mental bondo over it because you want to hurry and shoot the top coat.

Another classic! I'm waiting for Thom"s single man's blog.:D :D :D

Yeah,I got to agree here. I have dated but now I don't over look things I would have over looked, say with my ex when we were younger. It took 19 years of marrage to realize. I don't have to put up with that $%$%&!:D

i disagree, the older i get...nothing changed. i still put up with a bit, to get some. well, i would. i have been with the same gfriend for my personal record. longer than 8 months! but if i was single, i would be doing the same thing. but i would be smarter about it. and leave myself a way for a clean exit.

After awhile you become numb are apathetic or both. Either way, some if not most of the bull***** just doesn't have the same intensity or meaning it did.

I think for the most part, I'm single because of circumstance.

'Circumstance' being that I work in a male dominated field, and that my social circle is pretty small. None of my friend's wives or girlfriends have any female friends. I've tried meeting people online, and once or twice it could have possibly worked out, if they didn't drop the ball, or if I had been genuinely interested.

Sometimes I wonder if I really WANT to be in a relationship, but then I see my best buddy and his fiance, who is a wonderful young woman, and I think that I would like to have something like that myself.

Sometimes I think something will work, but then it doesn't.

However this weekend, to try to sum up... A girl I met with a group of friends finally called me back. I won't go into the story, but she's great, and we had a great though short conversation. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm really wanting to try to have something with this girl.

I guess I can only try to be the best guy I can be, and hopefully she'll take notice.

Fray, I wish you luck with girl!
Why am I still single? Technically, it would be illegal to get married at my age ;). I'll think in terms of a 'girlfriend' now. With friends, I am mostly in the same situatlon as FrayAdjacent911 where the guys I hang out with do not have many girls hanging around. Another reason is that I am shy and not the most handsome guy. I'm sure all that will change when my red 911 turbo look cabriolet will be my daily driver to and from school in 3 and a half months! :D (dont't take me literally though).

Not that I looked, but if I did, I might have only found pics of one of Thom's girls. Where's the pics of the rest of the "harem"?

Thom provided links to two, and I believe he has a strict policy of only providing pictures of the chicks who have been booted from the harem.

Hi Matt,

First let me say that the Pelican Parts forum is the very best place to get information and advice about Porsches on the planet. But, it is also the very *worst* place to get advice about women. Most guys do not have a clue about women, and that goes doubly around here. There are a few guys here who have a clue and it is refreshing to see them post from time to time.

Your problem is your attitude. I know it is not fair to make judgements based on one post to an Internet forum, but what you wrote seems to say alot about your problem.

There is so much to say on this subject, but I will give you a start. Here it is:

WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO HAVE YOUR ATTITUDE.

I hope this helps.

Good grief - Lenddaddy, we are - for the first and possibly only time - COMPLETELY in agreement.

Not only are we in agreement, but you made a point that I really hadn't considered. Many folks simply are not cut out for this marriage gig. I'm very happily married for going on 25 years now, but there just aren't all that many of us out there.

:D every now and then..as they say.

It really is sad to see so many married couples struggling though life. They would BOTH be much better off single, and then they end up bringing kids into it!

And then there are folks who think HAVING kids would fix their marriage. Clearly, there are people who should stay single and, also, people who should not be allowed to have kids, married or not.

Ah, one of the cruelties of male indoctrination. Our mothers taught (or tried to) us to be nice, polite and respectful to women. Flowers, candy, opening doors, compliments, etc. That technique is about a useful for getting women as trying to make friends by going into a biker bar by yelling "Which of you fags owns the Harley out front?!" Mom told you that's what women want, women tell you that's what they want, because that's the politically-correct thing to say.

I have to run to a meeting, so I gotta leave you hanging.

Check out http://laddertheory.com/ when you get a chance

Correct; once they're voted off the island - or have voted me off - they're fair game. On top of that, not all of them were as good as sports as these two.

"Got any naked pictures of your wife? Want some?"

--Tom Sellect, Mr Baseball

Your giving advice about women...

But I do take offense, I think I have given some pretty good advice provided you want to lead a life or manipulation, lies, misery and deception. All of which can be rather satisfying in an evil sort of way.

Yes, Lubemaster is known to give very good advice about women.

P.S. Lubemaster, I am going to try some of your "Lubemaster Extreme" grease for my wheel bearings over the weekend that "jyl" of this board has offered me some of it.

Matt - Cool! I'll have to get uou some oils and what not after you see the difference in 'da goodz'.

Try this out just for *****s...

Take some of another grease, rub some in the palm of your hand than stick it under a facet and run water over it as you continue to rub it into your palm - I would wager the grease will wash away. Now try doing that with the stuff I sent jyl - the darn stuff is water proof! Thats just one of a few quick tests you can perform to show how it will hold up.

Awesome! I'll go ahead and try that. The original grease that I bought yesterday from NAPA was "Multi Purpose Wheel Bearing and Chasis Grease". I'm glad jyl has offered the "Lubemaster Extreme" grease to me. It will probably be later on in the week before I swing by his place and get it, but I can't wait to try it out!

By the way, thank you for the offer of the oils!

Re: So why are you still single?
 

WHOA . ...Okay! I don't think I want to know any more about this topic.




:D

LOL :D

I"m somewhat of an expert in this field...so here goes:

You can't make generalizations. Except for the one I just made.

Everybody is different, has different needs, etc. If you lay out a relationship like a spreadsheet, the problem comes in weighting. You can check off all the boxes for compatibility, but the devil comes in which elements you can compromise on, and which you can't. And the big problem lies in the fact that what you *think* you can compromise on often turns out to be something that you *can't* give on...you don't know until you're in it.

So the bottom line is you're hosed if you don't, and hosed if you don't. If you're lucky you connect on the "mission critical" aspects of the relationship, and are willing/able to negotiate the rest.

Of course the mission critical list changes over time...oh yeah, forgot that detail...

Hey John,

I really understand what you're saying... my attitude about the whole relationship thing isn't the greatest, and has been tangibly detrimental at times...

However, it is true, that I have not really met any girl who really 'knocked my socks off', save for the girl I mentioned in my previous post, and possibly the girl that moved in next door to me. (I may have already missed my chance with the neighbor).

I know with the girl I mentioned in my previous post, she has great potential to 'knock my socks off'. My attitude will be much better in the company of a worthy woman. I can put on the romantic stuff... and I'm a good cook. I'm pretty sure, given a good chance, I can do well.

Marriage... Been there, done that, got the T-shirt... don't need to go back!

Things only got better after my divorce. Many say it is cuz I was not with the right person...maybe... but life is great as a single 31 y/o prefessional with 4 Porsches... why would I want to risk giving 1/2 of everything to a chick that will hate me someday if things go wrong...

I just don't see the purpose in it unless you want to have kids.

Hat Nostatic, what about looking at it according to a Failure Mode Effect Analysis? Now we maybe onto something...

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1115777819.jpg

or as it applies to her...http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1115780407.jpg

Ha ha Lube...did you really do that in 43 minutes?

Sweet ass do I hate doing FMEAs! Tomorrow I get to do three, count em, Three DCARs. What a load of crap. If I thought they actually ever got looked at I wouldn't mind doing them.

Sometimes wearing many hats can be depressing because you end up ignoring your own reports and generally realizing how much of your work is a complete waste.

why am I still single....hmmm maybe because i am 17.....

Mike, my g/f even thinks that's funny :D

You've got a girlfriend already? What a stud!

Im Single as a means to control my financial destiny...

Married is for people who want to start families.... raise children. In my humble opinion... Dont get married, if you have no plans to have kids.

Being single means being able to get away with the following dining room table arrangement for several weeks in a row. :D

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1113160695.jpg

lol, that's awesome 350! Similarly, nobody complained when I rebuilt my input and output shafts on the coffee table, and it's ok for me to use the dishwasher for engine parts. Whee! I love being single....

The "ladder theory" and the "how to attract chicks" advice is VERY useful to understand and master "The Game". But if you want no part of The Game I would advise against using it. A real and happy relationship is not a game at all. You don't need to figure out ways to make the other happy so you can "get away with x or y", or vice versa. It should be easy and natural. I know that it sounds unrealistic, but I assure you it is not impossible.

Like mowing the lawn early so you can go golfing or being extra nice so you can do a DE the following weekend or the quiver of tricks guys use to help them get sex. It's all unnecessary in a good relationship. I'm not saying it can never happen, but it's not required.

I go golfing.........whenever I want to go golfing. I get sex.......whenever I want sex (within reason:)) I go out with my buddies....whenever I want to. See a pattern? Guess what.....she does whatever she wants......when she wants to as well:eek:

Now the dig on this is "Oh so you guys are just living selfish lives without concern for each other or family". Not true at all. We love each other and govern ourselves not to abuse the freedom. We are together alot..... because that's what we want to do.

"So what happens if your wants conflict?" Easy, we verbally discuss it to discern who "wants their want... more" and they win. It's really that easy and we NEVER fight.

Oh, in the event of a tie, I win. That has been discussed and agreed upon since the beginning. We felt the family needed a final say when required and I got the nod. I have had to use this once (when we chose our home). And it went very smoothly.


Sounds like BS I know, I should write a book:)