Can you take some vacation time, and get out of there for a few days?

Time to make sure you're thinking clearly, time for the family to get by without you for a bit.

I hope this involves moving to L.A. We need some real folks out here...

lol:)

Actually we discussed it and she IS going to check on the company that wanted her out there before. We also have potential in Chicago and NewYork. Who knows.

P.S. the fireworks yesterday were not mine, I was once again the pacifier.

You know...it's no fun without details. Kind of like a thread about hot chick w/ no pic's...;)

I really don't think these particular details should be broadcast. They got into it pretty good and some "stuff" came out. It's not my place to share what the "stuff" is, but it is impressive. It dousn'e really change my situation, but it does theirs. Ok, actually I can tell you that brother was asked to leave, but in the end did not.

I have worked at two shops where the owner/board fired a owners son. Things get tense for everyone. I bet the other employees also feel things unraveling a bit. For your sake and theirs I hope things are shaking out for the better. Isn't the small business side of manufacturing great! LOL

My brother and I worked together building our company for 10 years and wound up selling it to a Fortune 500 co. We also worked in our parents business prior to starting our own; one reason we started our own was to change the family dynamic. We all got along reasonably well, but that notwithstanding, there were definitely a lot of family dynamic / repression things going on. We now, similarly to Milu I think, are frequently brought into various companies as turn around guys – to figure out the cultural issues in a company, and help the company members design a way to change all that. It is doable; and clearly with all the crazy fighting stuff that seems to be going on with you, it’s something that your family business needs. There are a lot of consultants out there, many of whom are crappy, but many of whom are good; it would be worth it to all of you, and your own financial future whether you stay or go, to get one of the good ones in there for 6 hours, not all at once – maybe 2x a week for 3 weeks. Yeah it’s very therapy sounding – but it works. Don’t give up your investment in the business, i.e. all the time you’ve spent – by being just as reactive as your father and brother. Chart out a plan, and make them stick to it; but it’s clear you need some outside directed intervention to help.

Also - you have some stuff that could be indirectly contributing - ie it was going to be yours, now your brother is in, your father might have some guilty feelings about that etc etc. The stuff we see on a regular basis is amazingly similar to your situation; and so it is fixable. But the lightbulb has to want to change; and it sounds though like you all do, ie because you're all at the end of your temper's ropes.

Thanks guys, even more good info. Have any of you guys ever seen this work out in the end? I mean I'm really having my doubts.

I had a little "talk" with dad Friday and told him I was concerned with "pot smoker man" and how he's taking advantage of him and our company. He was oblivious to the obvious, I mean I sat there jaw agape as he straight face told me that this guy would never do the things I told him he was doing(to which there is no doubt). I was seriously stunned. (no I don't have video proof, which is what I know believe it would take to convince him).

Anyway, jump to today (Sat). I go in to run some production and there are a few other guys there as well. Brother comes up and tells me "pot smoker man" asked him why I "hate him" and went on to deny the charges I leveled the day before........now I want you to take that in for a second........... The man actually said "hate". Apparently dad filled him in on our discussion and he played it up a bit????!!!?????

WTF? Now I'm supposed to work with this idiot? Seriously, is that not f'd up? I cannot believe my father would throw me under the bus with one of our employees. I seriously think he's going insane. On the business common sense scale this move was a -6 on a 1-10 scale. Simply unbelievable!

I don't want to abandon ship and leave my dad to the wolves, but damn I can't deal with this, heck I don't even know where to start.

FWIW I do NOT ever get into this melodramatic BS, it's entirely not my style. In fact, the all-to-common drama is one big reason I'm tired of the place.

My current plan is to see if he would go for some kind of severance package if I leave. I have been there for 15 years and would like to see some return, but if not then so be it my sanity is more important. He doesn't owe me anything, but in my current position I have to ask. I have also advised him on many occasions to sell the company so he can retire in comfort with some security.

Oh well, stay tuned for the next installment of this jacked up journey.

Damn Len, you NEED to go for a drive in your 911!!!!!
One of the reasons I didn't go into business with my brother is the pot smokin'. I don't want to start a debate here about whether or not it's BAD or EVIL. I just know firsthand that it CAN cause normal people to do/say stupid things after years of abuse. Our thoughts are with ya.SmileWavy

Jeez, Len, I thought I had interesting times... sounds like you really have your hands full there. When the smoke clears, you'll see the clear path :)

Thanks,

I read a few of my posts back and realized there are HUGE gaping holes where information should be. But to be honest, I have no desire to fill those at this time, but rest assured there is much more crazy crap in this story.

Oh haha,

To be honest I couldn't care less if my employees partake of the wacky weed on their own time, but this guys is high all day. We don't drug test, so I can't "prove it" but there is no doubt. In fact I mentioned to brother that dad didn't think this guy smoked at work "cause he never smelled it on him" and brother couldn't stop laughing. Yea, it's that obvious.

Your dad talking to the pot head may just have been him trying to get the pothead to work for a better relationship with you and the pothead took it differently. Otherwise it was very bad management.

Talk it over with your wife and start looking at options. You need to get out and quickly, for your sanity and also to be able to maintain a reasonable relationship with your family in the future.

I have seen this type of situation in family businesses many times. I have never seen them work out properly, the best was an uneasy peace waiting to break again or some type of compromise that didn't satisfy anyone.

I doubt if he will go for it but selling the business may be the best option all round, especially if you and your brother get a start-up stake. It is also likely that the buyer would want you to stay on for a while as part of the sale.

Don't do anything in hot blood or on an impulse but start looking actively at options. For your own well being step back from the business as much as you can and give more time to your lady, let your dad and brother deal directly with the problems on the floor, only confront them with hard provable facts. Eg "pothead took all day to do this and it's scrap, what else did he do?" Be careful on this as if you're not careful it may start to seem like a feud.

Good advice from Milu. Without a lot of work and big mental changes, it's pretty grim. Don't start talking about severance, because then they know you're on the way out. I still think bringing in some help to negotiate is a good idea; when there's a non-family member moderating, perhaps craziness will be kept at bay (but you must inform this person about the underlying issues). Is your accountant a strong and helpful strategist? Or a family friend, esp of your father's?

Hmmm,

My father is not upset with me to my knowledge. I am pretty sure he would agree to "selling" me the business as well. In fact he has brought that up. By selling I obviously mean paying him out of profits/revenue. It is an option with other variables too.

The fact that he went to this tool and poured his guts out about me grinds me harder than anything at this point. I mean tomorrow I have to manage/work with this idiot and he's just the kind of hump that will want to confront me about it. This is dangerous territory as I may lose my cool on him. I just cannot imagine the reasoning behind spilling our personal discussions to an employee! Tough to take and it makes rational moves/decisions difficult as my mind keeps going to it.

Regarding bringing in a moderator:

Zero chance. Dad would never in a million years take advice on ANYTHING business related from a third party. He is VERY stubborn, and it is just one more area we differ in method. Which also puzzles me even more that he would discuss it with the pot-head. Weird times I say.

Wife wants me to leave no matter what, she's not forceful about it and will support whatever I do. The thing is, there are huge ramifications to just starting over and they have to be weighed.

SCCA turn workers have clear priorities on what they are trackside to protect:

1- Yourself!
2- Your fellow turn worker
3- Drivers NOT involved in an incident
4- Drivers involved in an incident.

Did you see number one? It's number one! I have great respect for your desire to not run out and leave your own father hanging. That's great. But not if it comes at the expense of yourself.

If a turn worker's only option to save himself is to run away and let others get hurt, that is what he is to do.

If only I were an *******:)

Actually today was quite something. I went in to work some more production and Dad showed up. The inevitable happened and I lost it. I tried my damnedest not to, but I did. 15 minutes later I was cleaning out my desk. It was ugly.

Maybe a half hour later he comes back (not sure why) and I apologized for how, but not what I said. We talked for an hour or so and it went pretty good. We cleared alot up and I think we have the beginnings of an agreement that can work. Basically he is going to retire w/full pay, which is what he says is all he ever wanted and was one of my original requests. There are alot of other personal details I won't go into, but we understand each other. He just wants to be comfortable that brother and I can work as a team.

There is still a hurdle with brother, but I think we can work that out. Until recently I thought we were golden, but who knows. I think it's worth this last attempt and I'm going to make the best of it.

Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment?