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-   -   Be my Psycologist for a moment. (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/228428-my-psycologist-moment.html)

TerryBPP 06-27-2005 08:31 AM

Be my Psycologist for a moment.
 
I'm 25, drive a nice car, live in a condo on the water, and have a gf thats hot and loves me. So why do I always have to be looking forward to something to be happy? I either have to be buying a house, car, fixing something, remodeling. I'm a junky for change. I can never be happy with the same thing for more than a moment.

Am I just a guy or do I need to seek professional help?

pohsche 06-27-2005 08:42 AM

You don't need outside help. You need to take the resonsibility for your own feelings. Try doing things to enrich the lives of people around you. If you're empty after you have all the things our society counts of success, you might want to look for a more spiritual base. When I say spiritual, I don't mean "religous". In my opinion they are opposite things. Money and spirtuality DO NOT mix. Thus religion is bunk. Try helping someone out without expecting any return or pat on the back. It will do wonders to fill the hole. I too have the material things, but hey they do not matter in the long run. It comes down in this life to how you treat the people around you. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Alan Poh
'77 Carrera 3.0

stomachmonkey 06-27-2005 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pohsche
You don't need outside help. You need to take the resonsibility for your own feelings. Try doing things to enrich the lives of people around you. If you're empty after you have all the things our society counts of success, you might want to look for a more spiritual base. When I say spiritual, I don't mean "religous". In my opinion they are opposite things. Money and spirtuality DO NOT mix. Thus religion is bunk. Try helping someone out without expecting any return or pat on the back. It will do wonders to fill the hole. I too have the material things, but hey they do not matter in the long run. It comes down in this life to how you treat the people around you. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Alan Poh
'77 Carrera 3.0

What Alan said. It can be as simple as being a mentor to someone you already know or giving someone a chance to learn from you. And don't be surprised if you learn something yourself.

I have several former interns that are now succesful and credit me in part with that success.

One had a pretty horrid homelife, very talented but angry resentful kid.

2 years later he is a calm responsible man.

He now owns his own home, has a wife and is being a great stepdad to her son.

He always had it in him, he just needed someone who believed in him when he did not believe in himself. And he needed someone that he could trust so that he could learn to trust others and most importantly trust himself.

GIve it a try, you've got nothing to loose. And the harder it is the more of a reward you can expect.

Where's the satisfaction in anything that comes easy?

Scott

pohsche 06-27-2005 09:36 AM

The returns are 10 fold greater than the gift. Just do it from the heart and don't expect a return.

Alan Poh
'77 Carrera 3.0

widebody911 06-27-2005 09:36 AM

I think you're just posting to brag.

island911 06-27-2005 09:37 AM

It was said on the board here, quite a while back;

Happiness is not getting what you want; it's wanting what you have.


Seems about right to me.

dhoward 06-27-2005 09:42 AM

Pics of hot G/F.
Otherwise, we don't care.

TerryBPP 06-27-2005 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
I think you're just posting to brag.
Comming from someone with a sig like yours I take it as a compliment, lol. But I still love you. Trust me the Xterra and the 85 bimmer i have are nothing to brag about.

I was on a long drive this week and was just pondering life when this all hit me.

TerryBPP 06-27-2005 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dhoward
Pics of hot G/F.
Otherwise, we don't care.

Just for you.

Moses 06-27-2005 10:13 AM

Re: Be my Psycologist for a moment.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by TerryBPP

Am I just a guy or do I need to seek professional help?

Both. ;)

ronin 06-27-2005 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by island911
It was said on the board here, quite a while back;

Happiness is not getting what you want; it's wanting what you have.


Seems about right to me.

you and I actually had a conversation about this topic a while back

my mother and her second husband had similar issues. they never seemed to be too happy unless they were in pursuit of that next "object of desire". with my mother, the root of the problem was easy to find. she came from a long line of pessimists (that's what surviving WW2 in eastern Germany can do to you) and apparently always viewed everything around her in a constant state of decay. her husband had issues of his own. combine the two and the only temporary "out" seemed to be the opportunity to acquire things. needless to say, they are no longer married

I had a chance to go down that road, but had a few traumatic events in my life that gave me a deep appreciation for what I do have. there's nothing like losing everything to get you to appreciate what you had

IROC 06-27-2005 10:28 AM

If you're not feeling like you're in much of a "mentoring" mood (which I agree is a great thing), how about picking up a musical instrument? I get alot of peaceful enjoyment out of playing guitar and I think the "creativity" is a good balance for my otherwise very left-brained life. And the thing is, I suck. I've been playing for over 25 years and absolutely love it. I'm just not very good. :>)

island911 pretty much summed it up.

Mike

TerryBPP 06-27-2005 10:36 AM

Isnt playing an instrument an constant practice to play better? That sounds perfect for me, lol.

pbs911 06-27-2005 10:36 AM

Re: Be my Psycologist for a moment.
 
Quote:

I'm 25, drive a nice car, live in a condo on the water, and have a gf thats hot and loves me. So why do I always have to be looking forward to something to be happy? I either have to be buying a house, car, fixing something, remodeling. I'm a junky for change. I can never be happy with the same thing for more than a moment.

Am I just a guy or do I need to seek professional help?

Terry, it could be worse. I'm all the above, but 42 with a 26 year old hot gf. Talk about being in need of a shrink!

TerryBPP 06-27-2005 10:40 AM

Hey I posted a pic. Now its your turn. :D

Christien 06-27-2005 10:45 AM

I think you hit on it with "change" - it's not so much the materialism of getting new toys, it's the variety of new things, places, challenges, etc. I'm the same way, though it's rarely solved for more than a few days by buying something new. Seems to me that if you add variety to your life through meaningful methods (as mentioned above: spiritualism, music, knowledge, charity) you'll scratch the itch and enrich your life, as corny as that sounds... :D

gaijindabe 06-27-2005 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pohsche
When I say spiritual, I don't mean "religous". In my opinion they are opposite things. Money and spirtuality DO NOT mix. Thus religion is bunk.

Alan Poh
'77 Carrera 3.0

Huh?? :confused:

motion 06-27-2005 10:54 AM

Ditch the hottie for a scaliwag. Try it for a while and let us know how it goes. This is something that I've always wanted to do, but just don't have the guts.

chicken 06-27-2005 10:59 AM

there was once a brilliant man named Viktor Frankl. he was a psychiatrist before WWII broke out, opened many innovative and controversial places in Germany (among the first battered womens shelters and such). he intentionally mis-diagnosed people because he didn't want to see the mentally ill be euthanized by the nazi party.
then he got locked up.
his wife was killed in the camps, along with his parents, and a sibling or two.
he survived Auschwitz for close to four years, which is an extremely long time given the circumstances.

nine days after his liberation, he dictated a book called: "Man's Search for Meaning."

changed my life, reading that book. here i thought i had the world by the huevos and soon realized i was chasing illusions.

i have recommended that book to many bright clients over the years; very few come back and say it sucked. most come back and say thank you, now i don't need your services anymore.

some good advice in this thread. volunteering is an awesome thing to do. go for some spirituality, not religion (couldn't agree more on that one...and people wonder why i stop to move an earthworm off the sidewalk...oh well...).

and ronin has some sage advice too....once you go through some seroius stuff in your life, you learn how to appreciate even the most simple things. don't let it come down to that.



axioms i live by:
happiness comes from within, not without.
you must be the change you want to see in the world.
a caged animal is not an animal. <---that one takes some serious reflection until you unravel its genius.

EdT82SC 06-27-2005 11:00 AM

Terry, describe your spiritual life. Is it posible that your soul is searching for something more, and not knowing what that feeling is you are trying to satisfy your needs through the physical world? When I grew up my parents never took me to church, and I never learned anything about "god". When I was around your age I started going to different churches, and was always scared away by the fundamentalism of Christianity. Then I started going to a Chinese martial arts school and learning Kung Fu, Tai Chi, Chi Gong and through osmosis a bit about Taoism. The meditative aspects of the martial arts really work for me. I don't feel I've resolved the whole spirituality issue for myself, but I don't feel like I'm frantically searching any more either.


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