I dont put up with jerks who stare at my kids,I get in thier face.......... the will have find a softer target as I have no problem being a prick when the need arises, and have no F*CKEN use for pedophiles

Let me get this straight. A >40 year old guy sits right next to my five year old. He turns his head 90 degrees to the right and looks directly at my daughter for about eight seconds. Two minutes later he turns his head 90 degrees to the right and looks at her again for about eight seconds. Over the course of a quick meal in a mall food court he does this about eight or nine times.

You think "Erring on the side of safety," with this guy has crossed a "rational threshold?" At what point do you think it's OK to be concerned?

Lee - I'm with you. Classic example of exploring a topic without any practical application. don't they argue these sorts of things in Moot Court to practice one's debate chops nothing more. In real life the very thought is obnoxious and pathetic and anyone who thinks pedophiles "deserve" a chance is deluded.

Purrybonker - intellectually I will try to respect your position but this topic is so inflamitory and filled with emotion that unless you are going to provide some sort of incredable rationale and insight it would be best to go take a long look at your own children and come to grips with how you would feel if someone was to even think about harmng them in any way. If you don't have kids, I am not sure you will be able to understand the emotions that come with this topic. Sorry, but in this case it really does take a parent to understand.

I have to agree with *some* of Purry's comments. In fact I've been talking with a few friends about this very topic, and it really hit home last Friday when I took a friend of mine on a driving tour of San Diego, showing her some of my old haunts as a young kid and teen.

I am saddened that we have "play dates." I am saddened that kids are not allowed to walk anywhere without supervision. I am saddened that so many cycles are spent keeping kids from doing things that we did not so many years ago.

Where have we gone wrong? As I drove through my old neighborhood, I was reminded the long distances I walked to school, little league, etc. Alone. Or with a few of my friends. But not driven and watched like a hawk. Every day I'd come home from school and the houses would empty into the streets and we'd play baseball, football, streethockey, etc. Or ride out bikes to Thrifty Drug to get an ice cream. We were 10 or 11 or 12. This was the early 70's...seems like not that long ago, but relative to how my son is being raised, a distant memory.

I am saddened by those memories as well as the angst I feel everytime I get on board a plane or ride a T or take a Taxi and think that the driver could be a bomb mule. I also think about the fact that a crafty sonufabeotch could poison most anything if so inclined. Lets not even get going on other even more sensitive matters that have emerged over the past decade or two.

The world has changed for the bad and the good but it has changed.

Has anyone done a registered sex offender search? There are 14 of them in my area, and I only live in a town of 1000, and those are the ones that were caugt. There are more sex offenders around than most people realize. This saddens me that these people are out in the community with opportunities to offend again(and most do). And I will go to great lengths to make sure it is not my children that they prey on.

HIEDI

Be objective for a second. Why all the angst about potential "sex offenders and child abusers" ("soca"), if statistically, far and away the leading causes of death/harm to children are disease, auto accidents, etc. etc; with soca finishing in a distant 4,375th position?

Why are we willing to compromise the well being of our children in putting them in the family auto day in and day out, when the odds are hugely (on scale) stacked against them? Yet we are willing to deny them the freedoms, pleasures and growth opportunities that we enjoyed as children and/or expose them to and teach them the depths of our own paranoia about the minimal risks (ie soca) that come with living a life of freedom?

Is it not much more brave and unselfish for a parent to give his children their "head" to enjoy and learn from life rather than being shackled by fear and cynicism?

Really, shouldn't we be looking down our noses at the soccer moms rather than the dads who don't punch out some guy for "staring at" his daughter?

We are comfortable with the risks that we think we can influence or control (ie the mini-van) and uncomfortable with those that we can't (ie soca). Plus we are driven by our belief in our inability to comprehend or manage the grief that would arise from the "unspeakable" happening to our children.

Yet, sometimes in trying to control the uncontrollable we pay a huge price tag on much more important levels. As a parent I learned at least two things:

(1) It's much harder and much more important to say "no" than to say "yes"

(2) That coddling and being protective of their well-being serves my purposes much more than it serves theirs.

We have 107 in my town but most are on the side of town de do not go to. But, I still would not allow my son to go anywhere with out me or someone he knows... it is a sad world today. : (

Do you have a source for this statistic?

A lot of this data is old. Does not change the percentage that these crimes occur. At best it would indicate the problem is more severe than reported at the time. Remember that this was once a "family secret" that "nice" people did not discuss, you buried it and your head in the sand.

I'll let my kids try to fly their cardboard box plane off the roof of the garage because I think that's what you let kids do, but when it comes to protecting them from pedophiles I'll stop at nothing.

1.3 million children were sexually assaulted in 1995.
Source: The Gallup Poll, December 1995

"Sexual assault continues to represent the most rapidly growing violent crime in America, claiming a victim every 4 seconds. Over 61% of female victims are under the age of 18…”
Source: Lonnie Bristow, M.D., President, American Medical Association, November 1995

It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today.
Source: Forward, 1993

Reported cases of child sexual abuse reached epidemic proportions, with a reported 322 percent increase from 1980 to 1990.
Source: Sorensen & Snow, 1991

About 95% of victims know their perpetrators.
Source: CCPCA, 1992

Nearly 50% of all rape victims are under the age of 18.
Source: Lawrence Greenfeld, Bureau of Justice Statistics “Sex offenses and offenders” February 2, 1997

1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18.
Source: Russel, 1983; Finkelhor, 1978; DeFrancis, 1969

1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.
Source: Nielson, 1983; Sgroi, 1978

89% of child sexual assault causes involve persons known to the child, such as a caretaker or family acquaintance.
Source: Diane Russell Survey, 1978

Bonker, You're off the map here.

1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18.
1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.

Somehow you don't find this alarming;

Yet we are willing to deny them the freedoms, pleasures and growth opportunities that we enjoyed as children and/or expose them to and teach them the depths of our own paranoia about the minimal risks (ie soca) that come with living a life of freedom?

The primary responsibility of a parent is to protect the child. "Freedoms, pleasures and growth opportunities" are enjoyed only after the childs safety has been assured. Assumption of risk is an adult perogative, not one we should assign to vulnerable children.

I would not entrust the care of my children to you for even a moment. Seriously.

purrybonker
I'm with stomachmonkey and Moses, to say the least I'm alarmed at your stand on this topic. I'm wondering if you truely believe what your saying or are you playing "the devils advocate" here just for the sake of conversation!

This is just my view, with experience I've gained while working with sex offenders. While working with sex offenders, I noticed that they can appear very nice, sociable and clean cut. They aren't usually the creepy guy (althought there are some that fall into that category), and they don't really have "Pervert" tatttoo'd on their forehead, and can seem very friendly. About a 25% of the people I worked with show no remorse for their crimes, and really don't care (sociopaths). A good percentage of them gained their opportunity to offend by befriending a family or being a family member. I have heard of more than one case where molestation occured in a public bathroom after parents sent children in alone. I have heard of more than one case where the babysitter or daycare was to blame. My guestamate is that 75% of victims don't report. Classic example is when someone comes forward publicly, there are usually more to follow. I know of people who have offended that are not registered. I know that some victims will never shed their physical or mental scars. This world is scary with some evil people in it. I am not paranoid, but I will take several precautions to make sure that there is little chance that my children will become someones play toy.

HIEDI

I think these ranks up there with the fear of being eaten alive by a shark - statistically it's not that relevant. Statistically our kids are in more danger being strapped into the car for a ride to Wal-Mart.

From a parent's perspective - having your child abducted/sexually abused is the equivalent (to me anyway) to being eaten alive by a shark – Someone takes a more than normal interest in my kids and the brick wall they will have to bypass to get to them will be me.

Thats why when my kids are in the car they wear seat belts. I obey traffic laws and I drive defensively. I buy cars that are safe and have current technologies that address those issues. Because there is a risk and I care about my kids I do everything in my power to address those risks.

Everyone but a shark evidently!

Should this:
1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18.

1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.

Be tempered by this:
About 95% of victims know their perpetrators.

89% of child sexual assault causes involve persons known to the child, such as a caretaker or family acquaintance.

Don't take me wrong. I think parents should do whatever they feel necessary. However, based on those statistics, you shouldn't be worrying about the person your child doesn't know. You should perhaps be worried about those you and your child DO know. Scary, ain't it.

Good point - turbo6bar

just to put this in perspective - I just did a search on the guy that mows my lawn and found out he is a sexual offender... so - be careful out there

That's why when my kids ride with me to Walmart, I make them wear shark repellent.

That means 1 in 20 girls will be molested by someone they don't know.

So what your saying is that 3 out of 4 girls don't need to be concerned, or that 5 out six boys don't need to be concerned . I wonder if you'd accept those odds if it was your boy or your girl? Is 5% an acceptable percentage for kids to be abused by someone they know? Is 11% acceptable for kids to be abused by a family member/friend?
Damn people these are NOT statistics we're talking about here, THESE ARE OUR CHILDREN!! and if we are not going to protect them who will? your gardner?