Question for those of you with daughters... - Page 4

JeremyD · JeremyD's Garage

I'm with you kevin -

targa911S · 07-13-2005, 10:50 AM

Not Jeremy's

JeremyD · JeremyD's Garage

I should have stated ex lawn guy.

JeremyD · JeremyD's Garage

Oh - and for s!hts and giggles I looked up my 2nd to last lawn guy - he has 10 counts against him - simple battery - but looks like he has some sort of anger management issues.

targa911S · 07-13-2005, 10:57 AM

Christ Jeremy you draw them like moths to a flame!

JeremyD · JeremyD's Garage

I really doubt I am unique

Purrybonker · 07-13-2005, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moses
Bonker, You're off the map here.

1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18.
1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.

Somehow you don't find this alarming;...

...and yet we have a generation of massively overprotected and indulged children on a scale immeasurable in comparison to prior generations. And yet we still have "1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18. 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18". Maybe the cure is only compounding the harm of the "disease".

Please remember the context of this thread. I'm not advocating dropping the kids off on the doorstep of the neighbourhood looney for a game of "sink the submarine". I am advocating the establishment in our own minds and (by such example, in our children's minds) that people have good and/or benign intentions until evidenced otherwise.

I also advocate keeping our personal fears to ourselves while at the same time teaching children prudent behaviours because they are prudent behaviours, not because there are lunatics or murderers behind every shrub and tree. Taking umbrage with a person for staring excessively at a child (particularily in front of said child) would seem to fall into the bugger-behind-every-shrub category.

Growing up is hard enough, kids don't need our angst on top of their own.

stomachmonkey · 12:53 PM

Originally posted by turbo6bar
Should this:
1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by age 18.

1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.

Be tempered by this:
About 95% of victims know their perpetrators.

89% of child sexual assault causes involve persons known to the child, such as a caretaker or family acquaintance.

Don't take me wrong. I think parents should do whatever they feel necessary. However, based on those statistics, you shouldn't be worrying about the person your child doesn't know. You should perhaps be worried about those you and your child DO know. Scary, ain't it.

Yeah, scary is right. From what I understand befriending the family is tactic that pedophiles use to get access.

So as not to attract undo attention they choose occupations or opportunities that give them legitimate access to kids and create a sense of false security with the parents.

Nannies, little league/soccer coaches, boy scout leaders and I've even heard maybe a priest or two.

Went for a walk with the kids last night, police cruiser happened to be parked, officer was filling out a report.

Dragged the daughter over and introduced the policeman as "one of the good guys" told her if she ever needed help to find a policeman and they would make sure she was safe. If she had to she should yell HELP, POLICE, I NEED HELP and to keep yelling until she attracted a crowd.

She is getting signed up for Martial Arts this year, screw Soccer, I'm gonna make sure she knows exactly which balls to kick. All any one needs is a couple seconds head start.

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Purrybonker
[I am advocating the establishment in our own minds and (by such example, in our children's minds) that people have good and/or benign intentions until evidenced otherwise.[/B]

No one's here advocating a lynch mob. Why do you have a seatbelts in your car? Should you remove them in an effort not to scar your children into thinking that one day they might be involved in an auto accident?

An agressive position on this topic is best IMHO, and you will never change my mind on this. I'd rather apologize to somone for insulting them by getting between my kids and them (most adults would understand, ESPECIALLY those with kids...) than apologize to my kids for not doign a better job of pretecting them from abuse.

M.D. Holloway · 07-13-2005, 01:23 PM

Car accidents vs. sexual abuse? You got to be ******** kidding me! You’re drawing a false analogy. Talk about comparing apples to bricks. You’re a pretty smart guy. You even show promise in exploring a topic and producing dialogue but your inability to provide a convincing argument cheapens your cause.

You can’t compare the danger potential in one circumstance to another. The outcome may be hurt and dismay but the causes are worlds apart.

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Purrybonker
...and yet we have a generation of massively overprotected and indulged children on a scale immeasurable in comparison to prior generations.

Why do you keep harping on this?

turbo6bar · 07-13-2005, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KevinP73
So what your saying is that 3 out of 4 girls don't need to be concerned, or that 5 out six boys don't need to be concerned . I wonder if you'd accept those odds if it was your boy or your girl? Is 5% an acceptable percentage for kids to be abused by someone they know? Is 11% acceptable for kids to be abused by a family member/friend?
Damn people these are NOT statistics we're talking about here, THESE ARE OUR CHILDREN!! and if we are not going to protect them who will? your gardner?

No, that's not what I was saying. You totally missed my point. I'm sorry. I sense this is an emotional issue. I don't have children. I think parents should do what they feel is best. It's not like you're crimping my style.

peace out

Rick V · 07-13-2005, 02:28 PM

The only thing I can add is you have to be on the lookout at all times. I just put a 20yr. old in jail for 40yrs. He was convicted of rape, 2counts against my 14yr. old. The only reason he is alive is he was picked up before I got my hands on him and my 19yr. old son was not made aware of all the facts until after all the dust settled. It is without a doubt the hardest ting I have ever had to go through. I can't even fathom My daughter's pain.

If someone makes you feel uneasy about your children, squash it fast.
I still want to have my way with this punk (eletric potato peeler in hand)

M.D. Holloway · 07-13-2005, 02:33 PM

Rick V - glad he is in prison, I can't even begin to understand how you feel but I hope I never know first hand. Sorry for your pain.

***** the peeler, dull blade on a recip saw and gallons of bleech to start - the ending? No organic matter would ever be found...

LeeH · 07-13-2005, 02:38 PM

Rick - I can only imagine what that feels like.

I think this discussion has gone astray from my original post. At no point did I think the guy staring at my daughter was going to cause her any harm there in the mall food court. However, I did sense that he found looking upon her as pleasurable. Fear was not the emotion I was experiencing at the time. It was anger.

KevinP73 · 07-13-2005, 03:23 PM

Yep it is an emotional topic. Everyone will have his/her unique perspective in it. It sounds to me like everyone agrees that it's a shame that our society has to deal with it at all.

x911x · 07-13-2005, 03:34 PM

"Mess with them and it's the last thing you will ever do. That's a promise."

I happen to believe this line, it got me sitting in jail for the night, on probation for 1 year, 1 week community service for assault.

Got into a fight with a fool that tried to touch my 9yr old girl. He ended up with a bloody face, I did not want to stop hitting him. Imagine what would have happend if I ended up killing the guy. That would be devistating for my family. They would have to grow up without me beside them.

Lesson learned, no matter what or who happens to your children, there are legal ways take care of them. Don't let anger be your guide. WALK AWAY! Its not worth the trouble to enforce the law in your own way.

BTW, the dude did some time.

LeeH · 07-13-2005, 03:37 PM

Was it after the fact that you went after him?

x911x · 07-13-2005, 03:53 PM

Taking the LAW into my own hands. Believe it or not, the fool had the nerve to press charges against me. He was hurt pretty bad, needed some medical attention.

It's all good, I have or had anger problems before. This made me realize that I cant be judge and jury. I now look at things differently. I think before I react.

KevinP73 · 07-13-2005, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by x911x
"Mess with them and it's the last thing you will ever do. That's a promise."

I happen to believe this line, it got me sitting in jail for the night, on probation for 1 year, 1 week community service for assault.

Got into a fight with a fool that tried to touch my 9yr old girl. He ended up with a bloody face, I did not want to stop hitting him. Imagine what would have happend if I ended up killing the guy. That would be devistating for my family. They would have to grow up without me beside them.

Lesson learned, no matter what or who happens to your children, there are legal ways take care of them. Don't let anger be your guide. WALK AWAY! Its not worth the trouble to enforce the law in your own way.

BTW, the dude did some time.

I'm presently waiting to hear if the DA in Sacto is going to act on a complaint against me for almost the same thing. Some fool made a remark towards my 14yo that upset her. In a moment of frustration and anger I grabbed the idiot by the throat. My mistake was thinking he was over 21, he wasn't. It will be a charge against a minor if they decide to file.
It wasn't worth the worry I'm going thru but if it meant standing up for any of my kids I'd do it again, in a heartbeat.