Okay, here goes but first:

John, I don't expect you to ever like me and I'm not a pilot but FWIW, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I come from a long line of aviators, and LOVER everything about aviation. Grampa was a bush pilot out or West Yellowstone MT. Okye, back to the subject.

I'm finally dealing with some behaviors and a raging depression/anxiety problem I've probably had since an unfortunate even in my childhood. That'd be about a 35-year problem. I've cone my best to "walk it off" but it came down to basically an emotional breakdown a few weeks ago. As it turns out, I'm just as crazy as Island has always maintained.

I'd tried Nortryptyline (sp) briefly, not long enough to work. That stuff feels like a bong hit. And constipation. Gave up. Took Prozac once for 1.5 days which made me WILD with anxiety. It was three days after that that I was able to take my first deep breath. It was like a five-day cross-top overdose.

Had once tried Welbutrin, again breifly, and noticed the smokling cessation feature. So, after my breakdown, I asked for that. Took it for a little over 3 weeks and it wasn't doing the job. For example, there is an obsession thing going on, and it didn't help with that, or the anxiety.

A few days ago I switched to Paxil. WHAT A DIFFERENCE. The obsession is gone. Lots better. I still have plenty of work ahead of me, dealing with the past thing. But in the last five weeks I've gone from emergency-room basket case, to simple unceasing agony, to mostly agony with moments of actual thinking ability, to now. I currently have 95% more control of my brain than four weeks ago. It was in charge then. I'm mostly in charge now. Again, with much work to do, but it sure feels GREAT to be off the anxiety and obsession thing.

Interestingly, Xanax did not break the initial crisis. It took several days of full-on Valium usage to get my brain to "shut off," like resetting a computer. When it finally broke, it was like night and day. 8:00 on a Thursday might. The tapes (not voices...I'm not psychotic) suddenly stopped playing. Nirvana.

I'm going back to work on Monday. Hoping for the ability to concentrate. Optimistic. It was a wild ride, these last few weeks. I knew this day would eventually have to come, and was fearful it would come too late in my life. I had prayed, and the breakdown was God's gift.

Paxil. That's the stuff. For me.

the three s's for me

sex, sailing and speeding to the sailboat in the p-car.

FWIW I in no way was making fun of you folks who do have a chemical imbalance and need medication. A few guys were throwing out silly posts and I decided to jump in.

Now I don't want to get preachy or anything BUT...
I was on pot/alcohol 24/7 for ten years... not a pretty sight.
Just a word to the wise for the people who say they are on that road to deal with life. You are not dealing with your problems you are just putting them on hold. Sure some of them may go away if you stay stoned long enough but sooner or later your physical/mental health is going to deteriorate to the point where you will have to deal with reality. Sooner is MUCH better than later.

Nuff said.

I'm no saint, I still throw back a few cold ones in the evening. I'm not there yet but I am eating better, getting more exercise, getting into my hobbies, and that has me feeling better than all the weed in the world ever could.

Your honor, I rest my case. :p

Just kidding Sup...These issues cut across religious and political lines, obviously...I will say a prayer for you today.

I have been taking Welbutrin for years. I have tried just about everything but probably not long enough for them to do thier job properly. My biggest problem besides depression is that I am always tired. I never feel like doing anything. I have my head on straight for the most part so I am afraid to rock the boat with looking into being tired.

Reading Tabs postings is a good AD, IMHO. On the chemical side, I have found that daily Saint John`s Worth helps balance my mood and decrease anxiety. I was looking for something natural, very light, without prescription, and works great!

Aurel

Boy...you better hope no one here is unemployed and has a wife named Carol.

Thanks Toby. We are aligned.

What folks dont understand is that one cant control the condition, its a "chemical imbalance"...

For those aflicted hang in there, stay on the meds...

Good Luck guys, I feel for ya...

Red Breast 12 year old pot still Irish single malt whiskey