Anyone here experienced with Domestic Violence Issues?

KevinP73 · 01-25-2006, 03:37 PM

The subject line says it all. If your in the field I'd like to hear from you.

Jared at Pelican Parts · 01-25-2006, 03:55 PM

Are you talking about experiences dealing with or legal counsel?

I can help you with no. 1

Mulhollanddose · 01-25-2006, 03:58 PM

Ya, but she was asking for it. I don't know why I keep attracting women like that.

KevinP73 · 01-25-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jared Fenton
Are you talking about experiences dealing with or legal counsel?

I can help you with no. 1

Resources for intervention

Jared at Pelican Parts · 01-25-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KevinP73
Resources for intervention

PM me and i can offer some suggestions.

KevinP73 · 01-25-2006, 04:40 PM

OK here's the long and short of it.
I have a friend who I think is seriously underestimating the severity of a problem she has at home. I.E. her partner is unable to accept the end or non-existence of a relationship. Even though I have shared my opinion of the situation my friend doesn't seem to realize the danger that her partner may present. I would like to have my friend be able to talk with someone who is experienced and knowledgeable in this area but I have no idea where this help can be found.

Jared at Pelican Parts · 01-25-2006, 04:54 PM

here are some links to help you out.

Never underestimate the power of denial of all parties in these situations..

http://www.safenetwork.net/directory.cfm

http://www.rainn.org/

http://www.womenslaw.org/CA/CA_links.htm

http://www.silcom.com/~paladin/madv/dvagencies.html

http://www.turningpointinc.com/turning-point-resources.html

FrayAdjacent911 · 01-25-2006, 04:58 PM

Restraining order.

.38 Special.

Get both, and don't be afraid to use them. My advice to your friend.

notfarnow · 01-25-2006, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FrayAdjacent911
Restraining order.

.38 Special.

Get both, and don't be afraid to use them. My advice to your friend.

Don't know what it's like in the US, but up here it can be very difficult to get a restraining order, until the situation has already escalated to a very dangerous level.

Jared is right about denial... it can be very difficult to get people to accept that they are in danger. Very scary from the outside looking in. I wish you strength, Kevin.

Very messy stuff to get in the middle of, but you don't always have a choice.
I had the distinct displeasure of intervening in a violent dispute about 10 years ago. I was staying at my girlfriend's, and her sister lived downstairs. The sister's BF came home, drunk, and proceeded to throw a fit. Heaving stuff around in the kitchen, and eventually tossing her around. I don't think they knew I was upstairs. Once I realised it wasn't just a yelling match but a violent dispute, I (140 lbs at the time) went down and barged in on him (220 lbs) as he was throwing her around in the kitchen. Strangely, I think he was more embarassed than anything else. It ended with him leaving in a fit, me being scared s#itless for days, and the GF's sister being pissed at me indefinitely. It was as though I had "outed" their bad relationship.

KevinP73 · 01-25-2006, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by procon
Kevin, you must be seeing and hearing more that concerns you. What else is going on besides this guy not wanting the relationship to be over? Stefanie

PM sent
Thank You

Rot 911 · 01-25-2006, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jared Fenton
here are some links to help you out.
Never underestimate the power of denial of all parties in these situations..

Jared's post is right on the money. I am a prosecuting attorney and my experience has been that the victim needs to actually be a victim at least 3 times before they can finally admit that there is a problem. For every 100 charges filed we can maybe prosecute 20 of them because in the other 80 cases the victim refuses to aid in prosecution and in most cases they are the only witnesses.

DavidI · 01-25-2006, 06:25 PM

Kevin, I sent you my contact info....Give me a call, David

KevinP73 · 01-25-2006, 06:27 PM

Jared, Thank you for the links I really appreciate the effort you made to gather them.

techweenie · techweenie's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by procon
Kevin, you must be seeing and hearing more that concerns you. What else is going on besides this guy not wanting the relationship to be over? Stefanie

That's fairly sexist, for you to assume it's a guy...

KevinP73 · 01-26-2006, 02:33 PM

OK Let's say it's not a guy. What changes?

techweenie · techweenie's Garage

Effectively, not much. You might have more difficulty initially getting law enforcement types worked up about it, since the large majority of domestic violence complants are against males.

But a knife, gun or gasoline in the hands of a violent abuser trumps any gender issues.