The dude is a sexual intellect - you know, a fking know it all...

I didn't ask...

Jack Nichlson to Jeri Hall in Batman when she tells him he looks great.

This is an A and B conversation, C your way out!

"i may not be as good as i once was, but i'm as good once as i ever was.."

okay, so i'm 40 now..lol.
ryan

He fell outta the top of stupid tree and hit every branch on the way to ground.

"beaten with an ugly stick"

"put the meat on the seat or the feet on the street"

"ass, gas or grass..nobody rides for free.."
ryan

"I dont mean to be rude, but im tired of talking to you" LOL

"Close" only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Fly away little man.

Spit it out you stumbling mumbling fu**.

"Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here" - some Back to the future flick. LOL.

Don't make me get out a can of Whoop A$$!

"You guy are fighting over who's going to get the best suite on the Titanic"

"When I want your opinion, I'll BEAT it out of you"

"I see you left home this morning without your Tin Foil Hat"

For the office...

1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of *****.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Boondock Saints, and it goes: "Why don't you make like a tree and get the fk out of 'ere?" in an Irish accent.

"That makes me madder than Janet Reno's blind date!"

Clinton, a good example of why stupid people shouldn't vote.

Why don't you kids go out and play in the street?

"I called the Jerk store, but they were all out of you."

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. That's only your second beer? Sorry, forget about the 'drunk' part."

"He's got a bad case of ocular-rectumitis. That's where your eyes get crossed up with your @ssh0le and gives you a ****ty outlook on life."

"Why don't you go tell your mother she loves you?"

"The biggest difference between genius and stupidity is: genius does have limits."

"Did you get dressed all by yourself, this morning?"

"Yes, we were having a great time.. until you got here."

Les

"Your mother doesn't love you."

"I ask for so little and get even less."

After my wife was talking for a LONG time once, I said "I was just thinking to myself, when is she going to shut the f*ck up?" (She thought it was funny, thank god!)