Out of the mouths of babes...

[Moses]

Safeway... Check out line...

I'm in position 3. In position 2 is a woman with a cute little 3 year old girl. In position 1 is an ENORMOUS fat man.

The little girl tugs on the mans shirt.

Girl: "Mister, you have the fattest belly I ever saw!"

The man does his best to ignore her. The mom leans over and whispers to her daughter.

Mom: "That's not nice! You hurt his feelings."

Daughter (loudly) : "Why? Doesn't he know he's FAT?"

I almost peed my pants.

[widebody911]

Then the guy's pager goes off, and the little girl says "Look out mom, he's backing up!"

[masraum]

that's funny.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Then he turned around, looked the girl square in the eye and said, "it comes from eating too many children! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

Child traumatized for life.

[nostatic]

did she then say, "but mom, he's driving up my health care costs!"

[Jim Richards]

is that an example of pork-barrel spending, Mommy?

[IROC]

OK, I've got the worst one ever...and sadly, the "babe" in this case was myself. I was only three years old or so, but according to my Mom this is a true story (I have erased it from my memory):

Where I grew up there were essentially no black people so you just never saw them. We were standing in the checkout line at the grocery store and there just happened to be some black folks in line in front of us. I pointed to them and - in a loud voice - said, "Look, Mom...monkeys!"

She was horrified.

Mike

[kach22i]

Originally posted by IROC
Look, Mom...monkeys!"

As very young kids grandmother had us go out on her property and look for Jungle Bunnies and Colored People. We saw no bunnies but decided purple would be a cool color to be.

Oh grandma.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile
Then he turned around, looked the girl square in the eye and said, "it comes from eating too many children! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

No, he turned around and said, "It's because every time I f*ck your mother, she gives me a cookie!"

[Porsche virgin]

He turned around and said, "Actually, I'm Santa. Kiss you gifts goodbye, kiddo!"

[rcecale]

Well, he could have done this to her...



Randy

[Tobra]

Originally posted by nostatic
did she then say, "but mom, he's driving up my health care costs!"

No, they were Democrats, she said, "Honey, that is not nice, it is not his fault he is differently abled and circumferentially challenged. The government can help that poor man."

[Hugh R]

True story

When my daughter was about 3 we were driving down Interstate 5 and next to us was a pickup truck with two hispanics, just a plain empty pickup. She pointed to them and said "Gardners!".

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by Hugh R
True story

When my daughter was about 3 we were driving down Interstate 5 and next to us was a pickup truck with two hispanics, just a plain empty pickup. She pointed to them and said "Gardners!".

Well I hope you corrected her...

"oh no dear, they are agricultural engineers"

[oldE]

Many years ago, just after the race riots in Detroit, a friend of mine, visiting an aquaintance in that city, was walking down the street with her 3-year old girl. My friend was a bit nervous in the big city (being from farther East than Maine) and was trying hard not to cause any problems. That is when her little girl saw the first African American she ever really noticed and announced the fact to her mother by saying:
"Look Momma! A chocolate Man! I'll bet he tastes good!"
The gentleman had the good grace to smile at the child.

Les

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally posted by widebody911
Then the guy's pager goes off, and the little girl says "Look out mom, he's backing up!"

I actually saw that happen in a bank once...but it was a lady with the pager.

[Dave Nordhoff]

A couple of years ago I was at a park and my daughter who was 4 at the time went up to a group of moms and pointed over at me and said ; Thats my Daddy he doesn't wear underware!

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Several years ago I was at the Dallas Zoo with my ex-wife and a couple of her friends. We were wandering around the zoo speaking French (French wives) when we came to the seal enclosure. In an extremely loud and excited voice she announced: Look at the baby seals!!! Unfortunately, in French this comes out as sounding like "regard baby fuchs." We left soon after...

Better was the time at dinner when I greatly embarrased my ex in front of her ENTIRE family. The basic issue was that she did not like sour cream. Her father (a classically trained chef) was asking me what Americans used on their potatoes. I kind of went into a brief description ending that his daughter liked her potatoes buttered with onions and that she did not like sour creme (creme American).

I used the proper words so I was quite taken aback when her father was upset at me and demanding I explain myself. I explained that sour cream (again, we are all communicating in French) was something that she did not like. Her mother was a bit upset at my language and I kind of dropped it. The ex-wife was hitting me under the table and telling me to shut up the entire time.

Her brother (actually a very nice person!) asked me to help him in the kitchen. Upon entrance to the kitchen he dies laughing. It takes some time to get him collected enough to explain what I have missed. You got it, slang for bl@*)0b is creme, and I'm American.... We both spent a long time in the kitchen laughing our rears off! She never fogave me, like that matters!

[livi]

Below is the reason why Swedish people carry a collective feeling of guilt toward colored people - and likewise the reason why Sweden has such liberal immigrant rules:

For three decades a very popular man held this radio show once a week. He played music and put out questions for children. They would then call the station live and answer. I think most Swedes listened to that show. And we all remember what went down that Tuesday some twenty years ago.

The radio man had put out this question: What is it that lives in the trees and eat bananas ?

Five year old boy calls in (live in radio). He has a very distinct rural accent. Sounds a bit nervous, yet anticipating. Goes - Is it a Negro ?????