Daily driver murdered
 

Well, I'm driving the SC everywhere now. Good thing that the weather is nice. Yesterday, my nephew (age 19) was driving my truck and totaled it. It was old, so I had dropped collision coverage. He's a good kid and wants to "pay" for it, but I know he and his mom can't afford it. He's staying with me doing odd jobs this summer to have a little money to take back to college in the fall.

I was willing to accept the risk when I dropped collision coverage because the truck is old and pretty much fully depreciated and I'm a pretty sane driver (i.e. old guy putting along). I never thought to upgrade the coverage when he came to stay with us. The truck was mechanically sound and didn't really need anything. I wasn't planning on replacing it anytime soon.

Anyway, what do you all think is fair? Should I just eat it. Should I take it out of his hide when I know it will wipe him and his mom out. Should I let him pay some reasonable "deductible"?

Other fact... He was at fault and got the ticket. I'm sure that will cost him a wad.

Have him buy or cook you a nice steak dinner, and he has to wash/wax and change the oil on the replacement at least twice in the first year you have it. Accidents happen, be glad no one was hurt...

That's tough, sorry. Look at the bright side though. He's got you driving your SC every day.

Only loan what you're willing to lose.

When you loan someone something, YOU are taking a risk. It doesn't always work that way in practice, but ultimately I think it was up to you to either keep it fully insured or not loan it out and risk losing it. It really sucks, and I wouldn't want to be in your position or your nephew's.

If he's staying with you, maybe get him to work it off? Paint your house or something? On the upside, the kid has surely learned a lesson about borrowing things.

Reminds me of the Pelicanite who borrowed the snowmobile and wrecked it. Whatever happened with that?

He's family. The truck is gone. Be gracious. Any other approach and some how YOU will end up being the a-hole.

I like the steak dinner idea...gives you both a chance to shoot the breeze and then he knows your not real pissed about it...working on the new car a little will help him appreciate why you don't want to ruin one.

Is he not working for you?
Paying him?
I could be wrong but employers don't usually ask employees to pay for things they damage.
Fire. maybe. Pay?

That's a tough situation.....on one hand you want a young man to be responsible but then he is family and that is the most important. He is family, you don't want to cause rifts in family. Just glad he is alright. I would let it go. Just go with the heart.

He's family, be thankful he wasn't killed. On the other hand your truck was by admission old and obviously not worth very much if you dropped coverage. Go find another that needs work or a clutch or something if you're a DIY type guy; sit down with him and his mom and just say that he will be expected to help yank an engine and change a clutch or whatever it needs within reason and he won't be payed; but he'll likely learn something in the process and be more responsible with other people's stuff after he scrapes his knuckles up on a few rusty bolts. Staying mad won't do much good...try to turn it into something positive. Once you feel he has worked it off don't bring it up ever again.

i'm sure he feels awful..he's young and he's family..i'd let it go, too..
ryan

Was this a $1000 truck or a $10,000 truck?

Re: Daily driver murdered
 

As part of his job he should part out any salvagable pieces and sell for you on Ebay. Then at the end of the summer give him part or all of the proceeds. Hopefully a lesson will be learned.

Glad he's OK.

Why don't you ask him what/how he'd pay you back. I'm sure you can come up with some sort of hybrid plan that will enable him to pay (assuaging (sp) his guilt), but not bankrupt him or his family.

Just eat it and don't let him take the SC.

I agree with Moses...
 

Yep!!

I cannot believe what I'm hearing in this thread. The kid totals your truck and you want to be gracious about it??? You must be kidding me. Today's society encourages too much of this crap. He takes your truck out, he's an adult, he's responsible for it. If he damages it, he needs to pay for it or fix it, just like any man would be expected to do. Do the right thing for this young man... teach him how to be a man and be responsible for his actions.

Counter point.

Let it go.

Any chance it was the other driver's fault?

Between Motion's and HardDrive's posts, that's really the dilemma. Do you teach him a hard life lesson, one that most kids of his generation may never learn? (And possibly ruin the relationship.) Or do you let it go?

Do you want to be the cool uncle?

Are you comfortable with the possible anger he might have if you make him pay for it, even if it is probably better in the long run?

Actually, how can you make him pay for it? What leverage do you have?

The other issue raised by the original post, was that the accident was the result of a ticketable offence.

What's the big deal with having some cost to the kid's actions. Somebody has to pay. This is part of the reason that ol' Fogeys like us generally don't do as many stupid things and get into as many accidents as yung 'uns.

Plus the kid wants to pay. Let him, although you may choose to mix mercy with the punishment.

I'm all for accountability but come on guys, he's 19 and in collage, how the he11 is he going to buy uncle (edit) a new truck? Plus the description of the truck sounded like a well worn good running beater.

If you really want to make him responsible you could have him sign a contract saying when he get out of collage and gets a job he will pay you back.

But then one day he may be picking the retirement home you will be spending your last days in. ;)

I'd make him pay you back in some token way like mowing the lawn or something that gives him time to think about what he's done while not making him hate you. If he's a good kid, he'll want to pay you back in some fashion.
Young men's minds simply do not work very well. It's just a fact of life. Some sort of penance might help with the "lesson" but it sometimes takes a few close calls before it sinks in. Maybe this accident will save his life by keeping him alert in the future.
-Chris

Did he say he was sorry?
Goes a long way.

Money kills friendships/relationships. I ruined a fellow Pelicanite's clutch once, and although I wanted to be "a man," as Motion puts it, I simply didn't have the means to buy a new one.

I helped him drop the engine and fix it in return. Maybe there is some kind of middle ground you two can establish?

stuff..

life's about people and our inter-relations with them, especially family. it was an accident..doesn't sound like he 'set out' to destroy the truck. accidents happen. you know your family and this young man's heart better than us..i'm sure you'll make the right decision for both of you over how to handle it. it's only stuff..
ryan

When you loan money or a vehicle to a family member and don't get it back, I think you should consider it a gift. In this case I would have him do something to work it off, cut your grass, wash your car, whatever.

Is he a good looking boy? Maybe you could find rich old lady and pimp him out?

Sorry... J/K... bad Scott bad :mad:

Family is too important. The truck is replaceable. If he pays you for it fine but I would not make a big issue about it.

You dropped collision, so you were prepared to lose the truck.

You knew he was 19 y/o and thus by definition a bad driver/high risk.

You also presumably knew he couldn't afford replace the truck.

Basically, you took the gamble, lost, and so move on.

Have the young man do something else to help teach a lesson, but don't try to get financially compensated.

JYL

+1

I'm with motion on this one, teach him some responsibility, he borrowed the truck, he assumed responsibility, he drove carelessly, it is his fault, even if the truck was insured I would not want to carry an accident on my insurance because someone else crashed my car. I would be expecting the insurance of the person who crashed it to cover it or have them cover it on their own, why should I have my insurance go up just beacuse someone else was careless.

Thinking about it, you should check to see if their insurance will cover it, bet it does....

If you give him a pass, then you are setting expections that we are not responibile for our actions, and we are.

If you asked him to take your truck and go get you something, then you are on the hook, but if he asked for the truck then he is on the hook.

Indeed...Great opportunity to build the young man's character and make his mother proud.

He's not your kid, you have no obligation to teach him any life lessons.

He's a good kid trying to save for college. THAT is the big picture. Do you want to help him or show him just how tough the world can be?

You gave a 19 year old kid the keys to your truck. At the very least, there is an element of assumed risk.

Take a harsh stance and you will be remembered harshly. Right or wrong, that's the way it is.

I know you have decided to go easy on the kid and I agree 100% with your decision. This post is for the others.

Years from now you will share a beer with your nephew and laugh about the truck. He won't forget your kindness.

If he was such a "good kid" how did he manage to crash the truck?

Jim

Good kids don't wreck cars? :rolleyes:

yep, and certainly not someone elses they borrowed......http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/nono.gif

Set fire to him while slowly lowering him into a meat grinder... that will make a man of him!

He'll thank you later on. :p

Was the ticketable offense an act of stupidity or just a ticket the cop felt the need to give? If it was outright carelessness, mabye I would want some kind of "redemption". Otherwise let it go, I'm sure he regrets it.
Cars are replaceable, family is not.

Give him 5-7 years to pay you for the truck. Three years of college left and then has to pay loans and other expenses. This way he is responsible, but it won't ruin his budget while in school.