Since I didn't get married until I was 37...and I lived at a So Cal Beach...let's just say I'm lucky I didn't have it fall off....

In reality, the "total" number is really insignificant, in the grand scheme of things. After all, as Richard Pryor puts it, there are really only two pieces of ******* that matter. Two that you will always remember: Your FIRST and your LAST. Everything else in between just doesn't matter. :D

Randy

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie which embarasses my wife and children. It is a lie that our Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Can I get a ruling on a double amputee? Full credit or half?

something about a women with a wooden leg...

Hairlip, hairlip.....no wait...that was a woman with a wooden eye....sorry, wrong joke, my bad...:eek:

Us sneaky... never. :cool:

1... after another.

And the great thing about a double amputee is you can use them as a pillow afterwards..

is that better then a Yubisaki Pillow?

http://www.redtongue.com/As-Seen-on_TV.jpg
only 39.99 !!

Ditto. I'm dragging the average down.

Cool. In that case, I have four times as many notches as I originally estimated.

after being taken for 2 years labor building a business, remodeling a building, remodeling her house for free labor and about $20,000 cash lost in undocumented loans... one too many. before that... quit counting in my late 20's at 200+. I forget now. you'd think I'd know better at 50. duh! I forgot Mr. Lucky's cardinal rule. don't let your ***** run your life. I was replaced before I was forgotten.

My wife won't let me answer this question! :)

Here's my list:

a lifeguard in Oakland, CA
an Aerobics instructor in TX
a CPR instructor in NJ
my son's Sunday School teacher
my daughter's Brownie leader
a first grade teacher in TX
a secretary at an engineering firm in San Francisco
a pre-school teacher in the Virgin Islands
my best friend's ex-girlfriend
a coed in Moraga, CA
a secretary at a radio station (KMEL) in San Francisco
an intern at another radio station (KGO) in San Francisco

And I did all of this with the permission and in fact encouragement of my wife.

Because all of these women are in fact the same woman!! We've been married 28 years and if she keeps changing careers, it's going to be another 28 years of freakiness.

Variety is the spice of life.

I just showed your post to my wife and she has a new hero...SmileWavy

Was beginning to think you had a thing for disciplinarians.

5th ammendment..

when you can almost know what they'll smell like you've been around.