Jesus was

Isabo · 07-06-2006, 06:09 AM

If anyone objects to this, please accept my apologies-

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

DaveE · 07-06-2006, 07:04 AM

Somehow I just think Jesus would appreciate a good joke.

Joeaksa · 07-06-2006, 07:06 AM

I sure did!

scottmandue · 07-06-2006, 07:11 AM

Christians have been telling this joke for years... believe it or not most of us do have a sense of humor.

Don't believe everything you see on TV (i.e. wacho televangelist)

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

I'm offfended at the constant use of 3. What's wrong with 2 or 4? You are not being fair...your 3 bias is showing. I'm gonna go cry now, thinking of all the 2s and 4s that you neglected. Sitting there on a shelf, unused. Unloved.

YOU 3 LOVING B@STARD!!!!

Tervuren · Tervuren's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Isabo
If anyone objects to this, please accept my apologies-

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

Did he realy start a new religion? I don't think so.

cashflyer · 07-06-2006, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Isabo
But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

He didn't drink whiskey and wasn't thrown out of the local pub for brawling.
He's definitely not Irish.

Quote:

Originally posted by Tervuren
Did he realy start a new religion? I don't think so.

Was there Christianity before Christ ?

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

i think todd left out ones and fives. that's the real question here imho..damn.

artplumber · 07-06-2006, 08:50 AM

Seven is also a number of perfection.

And then there was the Friends "seven" w/Courtney Cox/Monica.... Seven, seven, seven, seevveennn.....

cashflyer · 07-06-2006, 08:55 AM

Seven is magnificent.

red-beard · red-beard's Garage

Unless you are in China, then the magic number is 8

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

4 is death

8 is lucky

I'm partial to 13

M.D. Holloway · 07-06-2006, 09:01 AM

I like 77 (you get 8 more!)

Moneyguy1 · 07-06-2006, 09:02 AM

Can you imagine a similar post titled:

"Mohammed was"

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

lol.

Tervuren · Tervuren's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by cashflyer

Was there Christianity before Christ ?

Well - assuming you mean a period in time where Christ came to the earth in a human body - then yes, there was. Although that depends on what you are looking for. If an organized religion with rules, leaders, etc, then no.

There where lots of people before Christ was born into this world, who expected him to come, and where looking fowards to that day.

scottmandue · 07-06-2006, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cashflyer

Was there Christianity before Christ ?

Good question!

Funny how many people don't know that Jesus was a Jew and the old testament is a collection of books of the Jewish religion... and that Jesus being a Jew was Arabic and most likely dark skinned.

cashflyer · 07-06-2006, 09:37 AM

Joseph and Mary, of Nazareth (in northern Israel) went to Bethlehem (in the west bank area of Israel) at the command of Herod for a cencus. So yeah, it is pretty evident that Jesus was an Israeli Arab.

Christ is the Greek word for Messiah (a Hebrew word)
Jesus (Yeshua) = Christ = Messiah.
And since Christianity is the "religion of Christ", Christianity could not exist before Christ.

The concepts of peace, love, forgiveness, etc. did exist in various religions. But not in one called "Christianity", as Christianity did not yet exist.

So Isabo's claim of starting a new religion is mostly correct, IMO. Maybe more correct would be saying that he inspired a new religion that incorporated his teachings into one cohesive structure.

Jared at Pelican Parts · 07-06-2006, 10:16 AM

Siddartha was....

scottmandue · 07-06-2006, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cashflyer
Joseph and Mary, of Nazareth (in northern Israel) went to Bethlehem (in the west bank area of Israel) at the command of Herod for a cencus. So yeah, it is pretty evident that Jesus was an Israeli Arab.

Christ is the Greek word for Messiah (a Hebrew word)
Jesus (Yeshua) = Christ = Messiah.
And since Christianity is the "religion of Christ", Christianity could not exist before Christ.

The concepts of peace, love, forgiveness, etc. did exist in various religions. But not in one called "Christianity", as Christianity did not yet exist.

So Isabo's claim of starting a new religion is mostly correct, IMO. Maybe more correct would be saying that he inspired a new religion that incorporated his teachings into one cohesive structure.

You get a gold star!