Am I overreacting?
 

My neighbor had some Palm trees cut down in her front yard.

I am sure she was asked where to pile the cut up trees and where she told them to put them, well, I felt it was rude.

When I remove vegetation I pile it on the side of the road in the middle of my front yard.

Her tree logs were piled up next to my mailbox and basically in my yard. Now its my mess.

As predicted my mailbox was knocked over when the logs were removed yesterday. Its still laying over and I refuse to fix it. There is also a lot of debri all over my driveway and side yard. Again I refuse to clean it up and have instructed my wife not to touch it.

I am wondering if my neighbor will be polite enough to clean up their mess and fix my damage.

Am I being a dick here? If the consensus is that I am I will suck it up repair my maibox clean up the mess and move on.

I have to run home at lunchtime a pic can be taken if anyone thinks it matters to see it.

Take pictures.

Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

There is a lot more to this I do not have all day to type. Lets just say this is typical behavior.

We are very quiet and keep to ourselves. I value my down time at home and spend it with the kids and wife as much as possible.


My first reaction was to just clean it up, but this is not the first time crap liek this has happened and I guess I am just getting tired of it. I am a very non confrontational person so it is difficult for me to confront someone like this, I second guess myself then just clean it up because it easier than confronting my neighbor about it.

Did that make sense?

always be nice and polite the first time.............................if that doesnt work...................NUKE THEM!

Ask them nicely to take care of it, if they refuse, sow their yard with rock salt

Makes total sense. Stuff like this is rarely about an isolated incident. Figure out excatly what you want to say, 2 or 3 points, and go over and talk to them. Keep it short and sweet and to the point... that way things are less likely to get ugly.

I can relate. A couple weeks ago a neighbor cut down a tree that was squarely on my property, because he wanted more light in his yard. A few days later, he had his driveway paved at 11pm.
Great fun.

It isn't right that you got your mailbox knocked down and debris all over your driveway. Depends on the severity of the debris, but if it's minor then the debris is something you may have to clean up and forget but the mailbox is the contractors responsibility. Your neighbor told the contractor where to put the logs, but it's the contractors responsibility not to do damage. I would talk to your neighbor and get their information and contact them. Just explain what happened and I'm sure they'll fix up your mailbox. That way you and your neighbor won't hate each other over a mailbox. Remember the contractor is only there for a short time whereas you'll be living next door to your neighbor for a long time.

Good Luck!

Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

Yep, talk to them nicely and give them a 24 hour limit to correct/clean up the debris.

Get the contractors number but have your neighboor contact them and to have them fix your mailbox. You'll also have the number in case they "forget to show" up and do the fix.

After 24 hours, you clean up debris and deposit it back on their property.

My diplomacy skills suck. I admit it. I am not good at confronting people with problems.

I am very non confrontational as I already said. She is a very in your face confrontational person that I am not very comfortable around. She is the ex-president of the homeowners association. That should make it abundantly clear what I am dealing with.

We need photos.

you let her screw around on your property, next thing you know her dogs will be schitting on your lawn and you'll have the same excuse for not doing anything.

stand up and be assertive or call the police.

I'd nicely point out the mess to the neighbor. If nothing is done in a few days, a generous application of Round-Up on their remaining foliage should take care of things!;)

Gallon of gas + match. Problem solved. Any fire department or government involvement gets forwarded to her, along with the bill.

Ex-president of the HOA makes it more shameful for her to behave like that. Take pictures and submit a claim with the HOA (if possible) for the repair of the mailbox. I find that folks on some HOA are just people in mundane jobs with mundane lives, and are looking to flex any amount of power they can gain...but when you push back they coward and fold. I think Ms. Ex-P is just clinging on to her Ex-P power and hoping you fold.

Property damage is a crime...by neighbor or by kids vandalizing.

Take pictures and document. Then just simply ask that she clean up and repair the affected area/items. You don't need to play any political games if it's so obvious that she is responsible. If she doesn't then you go on the offensive. Tell her that you are going to hire a crew to clean the area and fix the mailbox and then send her the bill. A broken mailbox may prevent you from getting your mail, and pisses off your mail carrier.

Neighbors seem to think they deserve respect...but just like in all other situations in life...it's earned.

Jim,
You can always make some Round-Up ice cubes and bomb her yard. Best part is the evidence will melt away on a hot summer night and in a few days she will have dead spots everywhere. I hear it looks just like Grub worms--darn things. We are lucky and have great neighbors but 2 are going to list their houses soon so only time will tell what happens.

^&$$%^*&* diplomacy skills. She's an adult. She knows better. This is why I hate most neighbors. Retaliation is called for in this case. Tit for Tat.

Its not a huge mess and the mailbox has been knocked over but not damaged it just needs to be straightened out, stood back up.

There are peices of palm tree all over, have you ever seen the berry or nuts that grow on palms? These are all over the lawn and driveway. Not a huge mess but a PITA to clean up.

I am going to wait a couple of days and see what happens , I know if I made a mess like that on my neighbors lawn and drive I would clean it up asap. I just want to see how this plays out.

If she is the ex-HOA president, she KNOWS what she did is unacceptable, but probably feels that you are that guy in the neighborhood that can be taken advantage of. You mention youa re non-confrontational, however, the best time to take care of situations like this is as soon as soon as they happen. If you clean it up on your own and fix your mailbox, you are setting an example that "hey I can be bullied and won't do anything about it".
It is your property, you pay the taxes and the upkeep, defend it.
When my neighbor moved out and a new family moved in next door to me they cut down some lilac trees which are on my property but border their driveway. the next day when I got home and saw them gone, I immeadiately went over--this is before I met them, knocked, introduced myself and told them where the property line was and that the trees they cut were mine. they apologized profusley and stated that they didn't know where the property line was and just thought they were on theirs due to the proximity. The trees have grown back, and I haven't had a problem with those neighbors since.
If you keep giving inches, they will keep taking miles.

Good fences make for good neighbors...I'd advise checking local fencing codes. I installed over 300 feet of 5' high hurricane fence a couple of years ago because of encroachment problems. The person doing the encroaching screamed to the county...many complaints from her. She thought I was removing about 10' of width from a driveway. Actually, it's my land, I pay taxes on it, but have given a "right of passage" (NOT an easement) 20' wide to those who live behind me. I had the place surveyed before hand, the fence is 100% legal. Once she figured out that was the case, she's been a much nicer neighbor, meaning never speaks to us. Cindy & I LOVE our fence. :)

Is it possible your nieghbor is unaware of the problem?

Maybe a stroll over there, " I notice you've done some recent yard work. Looks nice. Did you notice what happened over here?"

See what she says.

If it's: " yeah, isn't it great" , deep breath , submit bill.


KT

I'm with Eric (and others) on this -- act now. Don't wait. Make the first move tactful but firm. If you do not get a prompt resolution -- 2 days? which timetable you set for her, escalate.

JP

Ex President of the HOA?

That says it all. God complex. Diplomacy is for attorneys. Get one. A written complaint to the City.

FOLLOW THROUGH!!!!

Is she hot, does she have big boobs?? Pictures!!

Looks to me like your neighbor is counting on your not taking any action. Take photos with a time and date stamp clearly in them. Ask, just once for her to make restitution for your loss. Go to small claims court if she refuses. You might not get anything, but she'll have an unsatisfied judgement on her credit record if she doesn't pay, and the sheriff can collect the debt if you want him to.

The mess isn't huge I guess my point is that it pisses me off that someone would not clean up out of consideration.

See all the little balls in the driveway? There are easily 100's of them in the grass, the next lawn mowing will be interesting if someone does not rake them out.

To be clear, she had a tree service cut down the trees. The trees were in the middle of the front yard, they had to go way out of their way to put it over here. It just needed to get to the curb and the county will pick it up. 2 days later it was picked up.

Normally after the county picks up the homeowner will take a rake and garbage pail and clean up the mess left behind. Thats what I do.

Its not a big deal for me to clean this up I just think it really rude for my neighbor to just leave it there for me to pick up.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y21...3/CIMG0668.jpg

Just go in with a good offense. "Were you going to hire someone to clean up this mess and repair my mailbox or should i take care of it and give you the bill. My bother-in-law isn't cheap, but he's thorough." That should get a response...

For that much stuff, I'd simply go out there tonight and put back on the property where it originated and fix my own mailbox, in a much more rigid installation. I recommend a 4x6 post and a Veeders mailbox. I have one and it's withstood at least one baseball bat hit with only a slight scuffmark. And mine's painted, not stainless steel. The box door sounds like a car door when you close it, and the shipping weight was 65 pounds. We're talking solid. Worth every penney in my opinion.

No, its not that much stuuf, its more the principal that its there and I have to clean it up. I have no adversion to yard work and will do it in a second and almost did it last night but stopped myself because I thought it was rude of her to leave it there.

The logs and debri was removed yesterday. I wanted to see if she would clean it up today.

I will probably pick it up because I am a wimp. Next hurricane when my 15KW generator is whirring next to her house I'll just smile and offer no apologies. (My fuse panel is on the side of my house next to hers)

Thanks for the mailbox link, I might do one of those.

Some neighbors blow. I have one with a barking dog with no concern for others, or thier dog for that matter. If you can, fix your mailbox while she is outside and can see you. Maybe she will get the hint but dont bet on it!
Good Luck!
Joe

She has 3 lapdogs that have been barking at me for the last 7 years. I cannot enjoy my backyard without hearing her dogs bark at us.

I can write volumes...

Jim:

We had neighbors with obnoxious dogs. Day and night, little yippie yappie wastes of skin. Drove ALL the neighbors nuts. Tried talking, but that never worked. Four other families and ourselves sent letters directly to the people in question, and copies to the Police and to Animal Control. Problem solved. Bonus? The idiots no longer speak with any of us!!

Bummer. I am only going on 2 years with my situation. I Just put a deck on so I have been more aggresive on trying to stop it before it goes on for much longer. It has been alot better since I went over, they were not home at the time as usual, and took thier dog for a walk around the neighborhood. It was either that or the cops, cause dog was keeping my daughter up. His wife told mine he was embarrassed, not what I was trying to do, but it has seemed to work. How long?....time will tell.

You suck at diplomacy eh?

You need:
One pair of old boxer shorts.
One wife beater shirt, preferable stained, if not spill a little coffee and ketchup on it.
One rickety old lawn chair.
One case of cheap beer and/or bottle of cheap whiskey.
One pack of lucky strikes.
One AM radio tuned into the local country western station.

Put on shirt and shorts and position chair in front yard facing offending neighbor. Chug one beer, crush it on your forehead and proceed to use it as an ashtray then begin to clean your shotgun.
If your neighbor says anything to you compliment her with "you got a purty mouth".

But seriously,
Yes your neighbor is rude, if you don't want to speak to them face to face you could at least drop a note in their mailbox asking if they are going to pay for the repair of your mailbox.

No, No and No.

Trust me on this one.

I initially thought she was in her late 60's (about 8 years ago) and thought I could hang in there if you know what I mean. It turns out she is in her early to mid 50's NOW.

Get a gas blower and blow all the crap back onto her yard. If the mailbox just needs straightening, just bend it/pull it back into place, but spend a lot of time doing it during a time when your neighbor is sure to see what you're doing. They'll get the message.

Board on board 6' tall wood fences do wonders. After the storms in 2004 she had our board on board stuff pulled out and replaced with shadowbox. I wish she would have consulted with me I would have been happy to split the cost of the fence and have board on board again.

Her ex-husband used to stand in their back yard, smoking and staring at my wife like a lion looking at a piece of raw meat.

I am getting ready to install board on board in my yard, her dogs are really stupid and if they cannot see you they do not bark.

Thats kind of the plan. I mow my lawn on Friday afternoons. If its still there I am going to blow it back into her yard.

I am going to install a new mailbox anyway ours is pretty tattered. It has weather 3 hurricanes.

I think I might order that one Fastpat gave a link to, its pretty stout.

Had a neighbor who was often gone. He had a college age son, with a puppy that barked all night long, tied up outside our window. I went over to ask him to put the dog in, or at least in front of his house. He was ready to fight about it, "F*CK you!, he is fine where he is"(the father was out of town) and got right up in my face, waiting for me to throw a punch. Just shook me head, went over and patted the puppy on the head and said, "Nice looking dog, be a shame if something happened to him." Never saw that dog out there barking again. Called the police on those guys many times, never did any good.