Am I overreacting?

Jims5543 · 08-09-2006, 05:59 AM

My neighbor had some Palm trees cut down in her front yard.

I am sure she was asked where to pile the cut up trees and where she told them to put them, well, I felt it was rude.

When I remove vegetation I pile it on the side of the road in the middle of my front yard.

Her tree logs were piled up next to my mailbox and basically in my yard. Now its my mess.

As predicted my mailbox was knocked over when the logs were removed yesterday. Its still laying over and I refuse to fix it. There is also a lot of debri all over my driveway and side yard. Again I refuse to clean it up and have instructed my wife not to touch it.

I am wondering if my neighbor will be polite enough to clean up their mess and fix my damage.

Am I being a dick here? If the consensus is that I am I will suck it up repair my maibox clean up the mess and move on.

I have to run home at lunchtime a pic can be taken if anyone thinks it matters to see it.

on-ramp · 08-09-2006, 06:02 AM

Take pictures.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

Jims5543 · 08-09-2006, 06:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mikester
Not being a dick, but you need to confront the neighbor about it in a polite way first.

Take pictures however and decide how far it is you want to take this. Pick you battles - it's not likely they are going to move away if you piss them off.

There is a lot more to this I do not have all day to type. Lets just say this is typical behavior.

We are very quiet and keep to ourselves. I value my down time at home and spend it with the kids and wife as much as possible.

My first reaction was to just clean it up, but this is not the first time crap liek this has happened and I guess I am just getting tired of it. I am a very non confrontational person so it is difficult for me to confront someone like this, I second guess myself then just clean it up because it easier than confronting my neighbor about it.

Did that make sense?

charleskieffner · 08-09-2006, 06:33 AM

always be nice and polite the first time.............................if that doesnt work...................NUKE THEM!

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

Ask them nicely to take care of it, if they refuse, sow their yard with rock salt

notfarnow · 08-09-2006, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim Cesiro

...Did that make sense?

Makes total sense. Stuff like this is rarely about an isolated incident. Figure out excatly what you want to say, 2 or 3 points, and go over and talk to them. Keep it short and sweet and to the point... that way things are less likely to get ugly.

I can relate. A couple weeks ago a neighbor cut down a tree that was squarely on my property, because he wanted more light in his yard. A few days later, he had his driveway paved at 11pm.
Great fun.

wcc · 08-09-2006, 06:37 AM

It isn't right that you got your mailbox knocked down and debris all over your driveway. Depends on the severity of the debris, but if it's minor then the debris is something you may have to clean up and forget but the mailbox is the contractors responsibility. Your neighbor told the contractor where to put the logs, but it's the contractors responsibility not to do damage. I would talk to your neighbor and get their information and contact them. Just explain what happened and I'm sure they'll fix up your mailbox. That way you and your neighbor won't hate each other over a mailbox. Remember the contractor is only there for a short time whereas you'll be living next door to your neighbor for a long time.

Good Luck!

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

madmmac · madmmac's Garage

Yep, talk to them nicely and give them a 24 hour limit to correct/clean up the debris.

Get the contractors number but have your neighboor contact them and to have them fix your mailbox. You'll also have the number in case they "forget to show" up and do the fix.

After 24 hours, you clean up debris and deposit it back on their property.

Jims5543 · 08-09-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

My diplomacy skills suck. I admit it. I am not good at confronting people with problems.

I am very non confrontational as I already said. She is a very in your face confrontational person that I am not very comfortable around. She is the ex-president of the homeowners association. That should make it abundantly clear what I am dealing with.

daepp · 08-09-2006, 07:14 AM

We need photos.

on-ramp · 08-09-2006, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim Cesiro
My diplomacy skills suck. I admit it. I am not good at confronting people with problems.

I am very non confrontational as I already said. She is a very in your face confrontational person that I am not very comfortable around. She is the ex-president of the homeowners association. That should make it abundantly clear what I am dealing with.

you let her screw around on your property, next thing you know her dogs will be schitting on your lawn and you'll have the same excuse for not doing anything.

stand up and be assertive or call the police.

VINMAN · 08-09-2006, 07:15 AM

I'd nicely point out the mess to the neighbor. If nothing is done in a few days, a generous application of Round-Up on their remaining foliage should take care of things!

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Gallon of gas + match. Problem solved. Any fire department or government involvement gets forwarded to her, along with the bill.

MotoSook · 07:56 AM

Ex-president of the HOA makes it more shameful for her to behave like that. Take pictures and submit a claim with the HOA (if possible) for the repair of the mailbox. I find that folks on some HOA are just people in mundane jobs with mundane lives, and are looking to flex any amount of power they can gain...but when you push back they coward and fold. I think Ms. Ex-P is just clinging on to her Ex-P power and hoping you fold.

Property damage is a crime...by neighbor or by kids vandalizing.

Take pictures and document. Then just simply ask that she clean up and repair the affected area/items. You don't need to play any political games if it's so obvious that she is responsible. If she doesn't then you go on the offensive. Tell her that you are going to hire a crew to clean the area and fix the mailbox and then send her the bill. A broken mailbox may prevent you from getting your mail, and pisses off your mail carrier.

Neighbors seem to think they deserve respect...but just like in all other situations in life...it's earned.

CarreraDan · 08-09-2006, 07:47 AM

Jim,
You can always make some Round-Up ice cubes and bomb her yard. Best part is the evidence will melt away on a hot summer night and in a few days she will have dead spots everywhere. I hear it looks just like Grub worms--darn things. We are lucky and have great neighbors but 2 are going to list their houses soon so only time will tell what happens.

motion · 08-09-2006, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
Doesn't sound like you're over-reacting, but this might be a good opportunity to brush up on your diplomacy skills.

^&$$%^*&* diplomacy skills. She's an adult. She knows better. This is why I hate most neighbors. Retaliation is called for in this case. Tit for Tat.

Jims5543 · 08-09-2006, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Souk
Ex-president of the HOA makes it more shameful for her to behave like that. Take pictures and submit a claim with the HOA (if possible) for the repair of the mailbox. I find that folks on some HOA are just people in mundane jobs with mundane lives, and are looking to flex any amount of power they can gain...but when you push back they coward and fold. I think Ms. Ex-P is just clinging on to her Ex-P power and hoping you fold.

Property damage is a crime...by neighbor or by kids vandalizing.

Take pictures and document. Then just simply ask that she clean up and repair the affected area/items. You don't need to play any political games if it's so obvious that she is responsible. If she doesn't then you go on the offensive. Tell her that you are going to hire a crew to clean the area and fix the mailbox and then send her the bill. A broken mailbox may prevent you from getting your mail, and pisses off your mail carrier.

Neighbors seem to think they desearve respect...but just like in all other situations in life...it's earned.

Its not a huge mess and the mailbox has been knocked over but not damaged it just needs to be straightened out, stood back up.

There are peices of palm tree all over, have you ever seen the berry or nuts that grow on palms? These are all over the lawn and driveway. Not a huge mess but a PITA to clean up.

I am going to wait a couple of days and see what happens , I know if I made a mess like that on my neighbors lawn and drive I would clean it up asap. I just want to see how this plays out.

Eric 951 · 08-09-2006, 08:01 AM

If she is the ex-HOA president, she KNOWS what she did is unacceptable, but probably feels that you are that guy in the neighborhood that can be taken advantage of. You mention youa re non-confrontational, however, the best time to take care of situations like this is as soon as soon as they happen. If you clean it up on your own and fix your mailbox, you are setting an example that "hey I can be bullied and won't do anything about it".
It is your property, you pay the taxes and the upkeep, defend it.
When my neighbor moved out and a new family moved in next door to me they cut down some lilac trees which are on my property but border their driveway. the next day when I got home and saw them gone, I immeadiately went over--this is before I met them, knocked, introduced myself and told them where the property line was and that the trees they cut were mine. they apologized profusley and stated that they didn't know where the property line was and just thought they were on theirs due to the proximity. The trees have grown back, and I haven't had a problem with those neighbors since.
If you keep giving inches, they will keep taking miles.