When Canada rules the world

[dagriff]

I put this reply in another post.
Then I thought other Canadians might like to add to the list of
"What we will make the rest of the world do" when we take our God given place as rulers of the world, to make up for years
of being ignored and look on as wimpy.

THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH .

Every body thought that the movie "Canadian Bacon" was all in good fun.
Well it wasn't.

Everything going on in the world now is a carefully constructed plot by the Canadians. Can anyone seriously believe that a country this large and this wealthy, would have good health care but crappy armed forces? Get real.
Our "secret" army could whip yours tomorrow, but no, we are more sneaky than that......

Soon you will destroy the middle eastern oil producers or they will just stop selling you oil.
Guess what,
WE WILL HAVE THE ONLY SUPPLY !!! (manic laughter).
We will OWN you.
You will have to learn French.
We will all have Blinged Hummers (Snow will be the new sand).
You will all have to drive cars with Briggs & Strattons.
All McDonalds will be replaced by Tim Hortons.
You will be made to say "EH?" at the end of every sentence.
You will be forced to watch the Queens speech on Christmas day.
..actually, you will do what ever we tell you.
(More manic laughter).

[fastpat]

Originally posted by dagriff
[B]I put this reply in another post.
Then I thought other Canadians might like to add to the list of
"What we will make the rest of the world do" when we take our God given place as rulers of the world, to make up for years
of being ignored and look on as wimpy.

THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH .
/B]

"All you Pontiac dealerships belong us".

[Jim Richards]

Take off, eh? Damn hosers. Who let them get time on the computer, eh?

[dagriff]

Originally posted by Jim Richards
Take off, eh? Damn hosers. Who let them get time on the computer, eh?

A Ha, gotcha again, Canada actually has a higher per capita INTERNET use than the U.S.A.
And, coincidentally, much stronger wrists.......

[Jim Richards]

hmmm, damn lumberjacks, eh?

[dagriff]

I give you the future ruler of the universe.
ALL HAIL EH!



Notice the resemblance to a certain gentleman with a very large price on his head?
Now do you believe me?

[scottmandue]

Get in line behind Mexico you great white northerners!

1. They have oil too
2. French? Half our signage is already in Spanish... no need to change that.
3. Invade? They don't need to invade... THEY ARE ALREADY HERE.
4. Army? Okay their army sucks... but they have organized crime down... why dress a bunch of guys up in uniforms and send them out in the middle of a field to be shot at when a few well placed hit men can get the job done faster and cheaper?
5. Notice what direction the Mexicans are moving? se habla espanol?
6. Once the assimilation is complete and the country of Meximerica is established prepare to move over ya kanuc's!

[dagriff]

Originally posted by scottmandue
Get in line behind Mexico you great white northerners!

We sucker in another unsuspecting septic!

You call them Mexicans, we call them Snowbirds.

We are a sleeper cell of millions!!!!

[dhoward]

[Jim Richards]

ROFLMAO, eh?

[jorian]

At the re-education camp topics will include:

How to tell the difference between: a hat and a toque - sneakers and runners

Difference between beer and carbonated urine eg. Molson vs Coors

How to have a conversation about the weather and mean it.

The signifigance of the beaver on the canadian nickel....

When is this supposed to happen anyway?

[BeyGon]

Isn't Canada the ninth largest producing nation in the world? right behind California, the eighth?

[Jim Richards]

hmmmm...

[Overpaid Slacker]

In my experience, Canada is the world's leading producer of pro-itself statistics and factoids that it feeds to its citizens to convince them Canada's cool:

"A Ha, gotcha again, Canada actually has a higher per capita INTERNET use than the U.S.A."

This is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Aren't there PSAs to the effect of "did you know that _____________ is Canadian?" or "___ % of ________ comes from Canada?"

After a barrage of this a few years ago in an NYC bar, and me smiling and nodding politely and distractedly, trying to have a convo with this blonde chick, this Canadian dude tells me he "feels sorry" for the United States.

"Really?" says I, "why would that be" fully expecting another half-baked "free" health-care rant, and licking my chops.

"You can't get any really good music."

"Hunh. And here we are in Manhattan. I thought we'd have good music."

"No. I mean on the radio. Your radio sucks. They never play any good music."

"Hmmm. The radio is better in Canada?" This was actually intriguing to me, as I think radio sucks everywhere...

"Oh yeah, we have the best radio."

"Is this the same radio that must play a minimum percent of Canadian content music, measured by nationality of the artist, the writer, etc.?"

"Yeah."

"So the government forcing home-grown music down your throat results in better radio than letting the market and public preference decide which bands get played?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Hunh. I've got to hit the head. Be back soon." {wan grin}

When I left a few minutes later, taking what turned out to be this dude's blonde girl home with me, he was fully absorbed in hectoring a guy in a Jets jacket about how the CFL totally kicked the NFL's a$$, and wondering loudly and for the 20th time that evening why all American beer sucked.

It's nice to know that the US hasn't got the market cornered on pinheads! (please don't tell me that Propaganda Canada {"PropaCanada"?} has statistics on pinhead ratios North and South of the border. If they do, make sure they're "per capita" and not "per square mile" )

BTW, Molson is awful. All of it: Canadian, Golden, Light, whatever. It's like it's pre-skunked at the brewery. Bring on the Blue!! Or the Mooooooooooose!

Jeez, I gotta get back up to Kingston before George shuts down the Wolfe Island Ferry... hmmm.

JP

[dagriff]

Originally posted by Overpaid Slacker
In my experience, Canada is the world's leading producer of pro-itself statistics and factoids that it feeds to its citizens to convince them Canada's cool:


JP

See, somthing else we lead the world in!
We have Statistics Canada. Every news program always has a "Latest from StatsCan " segment, I think it's law, like the Canadian content music thing..

Also on the news thay always search for a Canadian conection "latest on the killer flea outbreak in Slazwackystan. We talk to a Canadian who knows someone that almost went there 20 years ago".

[jorian]

Pinheads seem to flourish everywhere.

Canadian content rules in the 70's & 80's meant that weekend radio DID really blow. In order to fill the quota weekends became the "All Anne Murray & Gordon Lightfoot Marathon." Now however, there is enough good CDN music to make the CDN content rule on the radio moot. TV programming on the other hand..........

[Matt Meyer]

You think you are being funny don't you? This is serious stuff.

Canadian World Domination Homepage

[Jim Richards]

JP, WTF are you trying to be serious for in a thread aboot Canadian world domination, eh? Didn't you get the memo?

[jorian]

[Jim Richards]

anybody see my Molsons and back bacon?