Financial responsibility?

[targa911S]

My mother has been in the hospital for over 3 months now battling the Big C. 2 months were spent in ICU. My sister and I are doing our best to help Dad get along with visits, shopping for food and helping him with his finances. Mom did it all for him and was the book keeper for their whole 60 year marriage. Sis has been paying bills with his check book and things are going pretty well. They don't have a lot of money but they own their condo and cars with $40K or so in savings. Well sis and I were talking the other day and she told me the last bill she got from the hospital was over $250,000.00! Now they have good insurance and Medicare which will pay for a lot but not all. Mom is destine for a full care nursing facility if she lives that long and we think Dad should be in an assisted living place as he is a bit uneasy on his feet from 2 strokes and 3 knee ops. Plus he has a bit of dementia. Or course none of this is easy on any us. I had to take his keys away and cancel his car insurance as he should not be driving at all. He took it well and actually seemed a bit relieved. To get to the question here. When the money runs out, how liable or responsible are my sister and I for the unpaid bills? Is there a way that they could expect us to pay? I hate to sound cheap or shallow but I have a family to protect here too.

[AFJuvat]

From my very limited experience with grandparents, I don't think that you or your sister would be liable. However, I think your mother's estate could be.

AFJ

[targa911S]

We will be liquidating the estate to pay for their care in the home.

[JeremyD]

I'd talk to an estate attorney T-bird - typically they will pay for themselves many times over. depending on timing. you can put their house in trust - where It can't be touched. many things depend on timing - so I would try and find one sooner rather than later.

Bill Mitchell is a good one in Tampa - maybe one of the PA folks can steer you in the right direction.

[targa911S]

Hi Jeremy,
Who would have thought that some of the reasons I moved would come to pass to soon. I feel bad for both of them, but at least I am close enough to help them through these trying times. Hope you are well, I know you are warm. Say Hi for me to all the coffee guys. I will look in Cleveland for an attorney, not many here in tractorfordchevyville.

Bird

[azasadny]

Originally posted by JeremyD
I'd talk to an estate attorney T-bird - typically they will pay for themselves many times over. depending on timing. you can put their house in trust - where It can't be touched. many things depend on timing - so I would try and find one sooner rather than later.

Bill Mitchell is a good one in Tampa - maybe one of the PA folks can steer you in the right direction.

I'm going through this right now with my grandfather's estate. Get an estate lawyer and preferably one who's familiar with setting up living trusts. Do this ASAP!

[targa911S]

Ok so that will be priority 1.

[tabs]

Its like watching the Titanic go down...

[Moses]

It might be time to talk about hospice for mom. They do a great job with pain relief and are generally much less expensive than a skilled nursing facility. Sorry you have to go through this. You and your sister should not incur any financial hardship related to your parents health.

[targa911S]

Thanks guys. Yeah this is a hard time for all. They reside in Ohio so I will get hooked up in Cleveland. Thanks for the tips Moses we are looking at all possibilities. I know we have to keep our heads clear and do what needs to be done ..intelligently, even though it is an emotional time. One day at a time here.

[Superman]

'Bird, I am sympathetic. My dad's gone, but mom is recovering from a surgery and probably will need assisted living now. I'd glad your parents have your love. That's the part that is most important, and probably most effective. I have an idea what you're going through, and I'm with you in spirit, man.

[targa911S]

Thanks Supe, a lot of us "old hippes" are losing mom and dad now and it's comforting to know I am not alone. I moved back here to PA because I knew this was coming in my mind, hell it will hapen to me some day. Trying to deal with all this from 1200 miles away would be too much to bear, I'm glad I got back in time. Thanks for your encouragement.