On Getting "Older" or Part II of "Dedicated to Those Born", blah, blah, blah...

[Dan in Pasadena]

Okay, so I read the piece that Porsche-O-Phile posted and while I agree that at least most of it is true, a few thoughts occurred to me:

First, I AM of the generation his post talks about. I wil be 52 next week.

Second, one of the most certain ways to know you are truly getting old and getting an old person's sensibilities is when you lament the passing of "the old days." When you worry about the "morality of our youth". The old saying about "If its too loud, you're too old" certainly applies to me...but...

My soon-to-be 82 year old mother is inadvertantly teaching me how NOT to be as I get older. Getting older isn't an excuse to be rude, lazy, mean spirited, lax about your appearence, fart in public, and nobody gives a rip about your latest doctor's appointment or how many medications you take. I love my mother, but I am learnig what NOT to do.

I ain't selling my 911 until I can't physically get in or out of it...and I may not sell it even then! I try very hard never to mention if my back aches, or to make sounds as I sit down or get up. I don't b(*)tch about "what things cost these days", etc.

I am mindful that one of the HARDEST things to do is age gracefully. I try to be current with what's going on in popular culture but not be the lame jackass at 50 that wears his hair in the up-in-the-middle Cupie doll style. (Yeah, I think it looks stupid but other than here, I shut up about it).

As I said, I will be 52 soon. Not old (I don't think?) but lets get real, I am not a "young" man by anyone's standards except, well....MY MOTHER'S!

I would love to hear the opinions/thoughts of the crowd my age and older...but also the thoughtful ideas and opinions of the truly younger guys. Do you actually ever think much about getting older? Not saving-for-the-future, etc. Do you think what it means to actually "age"? I know I didn't.

[livi]

Bump and let me get back to you when my four kids have gone to bed. It is just too frantic with all of them awake for me to be able to concentrate on a topic like this.

[Dantilla]

I have an uncle who just turned 75. Still active in business, flies his airplane regularly, stays fit. Sharp as a tack. Recently bought his first sports car, a BMW Z4.

Every year he has some friends visit them when they're at their winter place in Palm Desert. He says all they want to do is sit around and talk about the fun things they used to do.

He wants to go do fun things.

I'm learning how to age from him.

[scottmandue]

I'm hitting the big five oh in February and it doesn't bother me a bit. I still like to drive too fast and drink too much (not at the same time!) My dad at eighty still drives around in his pickup truck and insists on doing all all the work on his house... and my house... I used to protest but I have come to the conclusion that this is what he likes to do so let it be. I also see that him being mobile and active keeps him healthy. Thus the term "use it or loose it" now makes a lot more sense to me.

A few years ago I was in a public restroom with two older gentlemen who were rambling on and on about their medical procedures and their difficulties with going to the bathroom.

I have shown my friends my guns and told them if I ever start to talk like that please kill me.

[syncroid]

I'm almost 46 and still feel like a spring chicken most of the time. I still enjoy doing things that I enjoyed at 25. (or less)

[Seahawk]

Dan,

I'll be 50 next November. I have the opposite example:

My father will be 77 in February and still rides his Harley everyday the weather is reasonable (he lives in Monument, CO). He *****es about absolutely nothing and finds most people his age whiners.
From what I have observed over the years, he has the following attributes that seem to be a bellweather of growing old well:

- He refuses to stop working: He could, he just won't. It helps that his talents are still in demand in an area he likes (part-time), but I image in a few more years that customers to the local Monument Lowes will be dealing with him!

- He plans things...and travels. Between work he is constantly on the move.

- Never dwells on the past: He looks forward, not back. If we tell stories, they are never sappy...either he or I are usually the brunt of the joke.

- Humor. He is not a funny man, but he knows what is and laughs a bunch.

Not much, I know, but he gets it. Our next plan is his 55th West Point reunion next spring...after he gets back from some road trip or another. Fish gotta swim.

[speeder]

Getting older is such a gradual thing that it sort of sneaks up on you, IMO. Or I should say, in my experience. I am 47 and was blessed w/ pretty good genetics health-wise, frankly I have never had to exercise much to stay in decent shape. My Dad abused the living daylights out of his body by smoking Camel straights and drinking rivers of scotch, and he always looked like a million bucks and played a mean game of tennis a couple times a week until cancer finally struck @ 70. He is still alive @ 74, he beat the cancer for the time being.

That said, i have reached the age where I definitely need to exercise and eat right just to stay somewhat even w/ father time, (ultimately a losing battle) , and like Dan alluded to I think that it is important to maintain hobbies and interests that you truly enjoy, (sports cars/racing/etc.), but never because of some "mid-life crisis". I cannot imagine being a slave to what other people think of me at this age, it is just so unimportant. Trying to impress women, or whatever. Of course I felt the same @ 25, so that's just me.

The best part of aging is knowing one's self, and what makes you happy. (And sad).

[RoninLB]

"the good old days" is a crock for those who didn't have good old days.

If they can find pieces of my dead body they can do what they want with it.

[speeder]

Originally posted by Seahawk
- Never dwells on the past: He looks forward, not back. If we tell stories, they are never sappy...either he or I are usually the brunt of the joke.

Almost forgot this one; can't stress enough how important it is to be forward-thinking. This applies to young people as well, living in the past is depressing whether the past was bad or good for you. The opposite of creativity is destruction, if we are not creating something new we are destroying something. I believe this w/ all of my being.

Your Dad sounds like a real prince, SH.

[livi]

Too late, too much wine. No thinking left.

I can only conclude my own experience with - "the older, the better". Possibly somewhere down the line of some of the previous posters. I have yet to reach a physical or mental age where I start to feel any weaknesses. So for me, at 40, it is still a matter of improved experience, self knowledge, security and soul calmness for every year that goes by.

[alf]

My mother is 70, swims an hour a day owns and runs 2 successful resturants, has a boyfriend, drives around in a convertable and is more physically active than many half her age (myself included).

Her response to retirement...what am i going to do with all that idle time?

Her and Paul Newman are my models for the golden years

[Seahawk]

Originally posted by alf
My mother is 70, swims an hour a day owns and runs 2 successful resturants, has a boyfriend, drives around in a convertable and is more physically active than many half her age (myself included).

Her and Paul Newman are my models for the golden years

How serious is she about the boyfriend...I know a guy in Colorado

I forgot to mention that the motorcycle thing with my Dad is a 60 year love affair.
I've got pictures of his brother and him on their Indians, Castro Valley, Ca., circa 1947.
You can teach a dog old tricks!

[Moneyguy1]

Oh, to be 50 again...or 55.....or 60.....

Heck; deep inside I am still a kid, loving all the things I loved years ago.

"Age is simply mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter".

[Flatbutt1]

I am 54 and thanks to permanent nerve damage suffered in a crash I have a plethora of physical issues. BUT most of my friends are 30 something bikers that are happy to help me when I need it. I'm the old geezer in the group but hanging with them keeps me moving, keeps me in touch and keeps me from folding in upon myself. I think thats what happens to alot of people. They stop trying and they turn inwards. I also have a 24 yearold son that keeps me in touch with a younger world but constantly challenging my assertions about the world.

[Jeff Higgins]

What's wrong with farting in public?

My mom is 75 years young and still working full time. She wouldn't have it any other way. I see too many that reach her age and slow down; it seems like a pretty steep slope once they do. It sounds like we have all noticed that the more active we stay, the more active our parents or other older friends are, the happier everyone seems to be. There has to be a reason to get up every morning. Finding things to complain about is not a good reason.

[Evans, Marv]

Well Dan, sounds like your mother is almost exactly like mine, only mine is a couple of years older. Drives me nuts - and she doesn't have a clue why I don't visit that often.
I turned 64 on my last birthday, and I'd trade with a bunch of ya. When I was young, my parents always told me to "act my age." I was just having fun. I still don't "act my age", and I still have fun. They also always told me to "slow down", and that I "shouldn't be doing that at my age." I never listened to them & glad I didn't. I stay active physically & mentally, have all my hair, no paunchy physique (my waist is about the same as it was at half my current age), and people think I'm in my early 50's (which bums me out). My 44 year old brother in law & I beat the crap out of his 17 year old son & his 19 year old cousin a couple of weeks ago in basketball. Having a wife a quarter of a century younger tends to keep my going too. Boy! Best thing that ever happened to me.
Having said that, there are things that arrive with age (I'm finding out). Hips & knees are a bit worn out and hurt at times. The bottoms of my feet are getting thin. I noticed my feet really hurt a lot on the last day of a week long backpacking trip in Yosemite last summer coming down hill for the last 9 miles. And I must say, I get tired of the way some things are now days. People are a lot nastier and less polite & considerate than long ago - seems that way anyway, but maybe it actually wasn't such good old days. I truthfully worry about how the new generation will make it after all of the PC, fluffy treatment they have received in a world where nobody looses or has to work for anything.

[Rick V]

Well I close to 42, old enough to know better and still young enough not to care.
I am learning how to age by my parents.
Dad: Still rides his Yamaha when the roads and wether are nice.
For the colder days he hops into the Targa (new to him) and tears up the road. He likes to try and ketch the kid, please note I said "try"
He retired from his job of making artificial limbs after about 30 years. To occupy his time he joined the Sherrif dept. He works more now than before he retired. He will fart in public, only exclaiming "pull my finger" He is a rolling joke book, and is the type of fellow you want at a party, lots of fun.
My Mom: pushing 80.
She retired a few years ago from her only job. childrens PT.
She spends her days delivering meals to "old folks"
She is the first one to hop on the bike when a ride is called for, and she knits while riding shotgun with dad. (in the car)
My parents travel all the time and make a 2 week trip to CO every year, and yes they ski. My mom out ski's dad(and has for years) and it makes him mad. This is the sorce of many jokes, from dad included.
This is how I intend to do it.
I have a 99year old neighbor, he still drives, only wears 3 piece suits, and never stops going. Very fun fellow. He quit smoking at the age of 96, he said it was knocking too many years off his life.
Not all old people are old

[BeyGon]

As a younger person, I did lots of really stupid stuff. I raced motorcycles and played with drugs. Went to Vietnam as a Marine. I NEVER expected to reach 30 and didn't seem to care. 30 was a devastating birthday. Back then you couldn't trust anyone over 30. I am now 62, have lived twice as long as I thought I would. Now I may try for three times as old as I thought I could be.
The problem is I haven't been able to trust myself since I became 30.